Vlad salutes you

2011-05-24T20:09:00.005+01:00

Now that is more like it blue and purple as befits my status!! That is why I decided to show you it twice!! There are some of the plants they used on the table under the pergola!!

2011-05-24T19:58:00.005+01:00

Why do humans love their flowers so much?

Just look at those pansys what colour..... it is not red it is orange?
Whilst we are on the subject of the humans' efforts here is one of their hanging baskets, not a bad effort. The white rose tree has been in the garden since the seventies and has grown a pace over the 22yrs that my humans have had care of it.

2011-05-24T18:56:00.004+01:00

Dear all I have been told that I must apologize again for playing with Volcanos ..... I just cannot help myself it is just so much fun.... I mean Vesuvius and Krakatoa all the pretty colours . Mind you none of you were around then ... good job as you would all be petrified in ash or covered in mud.
It was more fun then and I never got told off for grounding planes!

Well that is it ..... let us change the subject. I have got some new photos of my humans efforts in their garden not bad if I say so myself! The blood red rose looks even redder this year. They are starting to make so that is coming on!a rockery

2011-04-24T13:57:00.005+01:00

Hail and hello all of my loyal friends ! I am just uploading some interesting news for you all. No doubt you realize that will be a Royal Wedding this coming Friday. Of course you did you would have to of been hiding in a cave somewhere or suffering from Narcolepsy and even then the news would of possibly filtered through !

Well good news I shall be there in fact I shall be sitting at the front assisting Harry the best man ( bit of a misnomer considering the amount of help I have had to give that happy little soul . But apparently my close mates Liz and Phillers did not think the country was quite ready for a Best Vampire Bear yet!!!! ) Do not forget I am Royalty too!! As you can see I have had my outfit made and here especially for you is a preview of myself look wonderful s ever!
Yours unhumbly
HRHT VLADIMIR MRCS, MRCN, DOS, SOB, MBE, OBE, HRT XXXXX

HRHT ( His Royal Highness Transylvania )

2011-01-30T20:45:00.000Z

2010-12-23T22:18:00.000Z

2010-12-23T22:16:00.000Z

2010-12-03T17:45:00.000Z

2010-08-22T21:26:00.000+01:00

2010-06-18T18:24:00.000+01:00

Garden update

2010-06-04T22:46:00.000+01:00

Today I watched my pet humans tend my garden and here are some photos ! Well done humans I am pleased. So voyaging blogger enjoy the view ! Beat wishes Vladimir the garden expert!

2010-01-16T21:43:00.000Z

Vlads summer retreat!

2010-01-14T21:28:00.003Z

Hi Alex here I am in the snow with my little son and heir! I am surprised to hear that you think I am exploiting you ........ After all I am the Master Omnipotent Vlad and you Sir are a mere human! ;o)

2009-07-17T12:41:00.001+01:00

It had been another long day and Vlad was tired and in need of R and R before Grim asked for his help again!!

2008-06-22T00:29:00.002+01:00

Hi boss will this hard hat do??
greeting s the "Cabin man" Vlad

Ted's Terrible Trauma

2007-08-30T21:20:00.001+01:00

Good evening friends it has been quit a while since I have found time in my extremely busy schedule to actually talk to you. But today's events were so awful I feel compelled to inform you all of what occurred!

The feeble minded assistant was making her usual sadly lack lustre attempts at settling my surfs and servant down for the night when Hamburg Ted's leg dropped off. I ask you !! HIS LEG DROPPED OFF?? Just dropped off erh! how! "Well your honour I was just holding this bear when his leg dropped off" Yes it is obviously an everyday occurrence, happens all the time ....I mean you just look at a bear and his leg drops off!

Well she was , to her credit very apologetic and mortified to have caused Ted such inconvenience!! Well I can tell you I was all for dashing off to get some help from of my best friends... DRS Frankenstein, Death, Blood, Kildare and Kovach!! But the feeble minded assistant said she was capable of assisting me so we spent 38hours in surgery.... ( Vlad I think that is an exaggeration , it was much more like 38mins)..Well it seemed like 38hours..just get on with the typing!!!
We did manage to save Ted's leg and stem the bleeding ..( Vlad stop licking your lips it is not becoming of you) well I am pleased to tell you that thanks to me the great Surgeon Vlad Ted is now on the mend!

2007-07-22T22:36:00.000+01:00

VLAD GETS A SUMMONS

It was a dark night and it was raining, Vlad was sitting by the window watching the large drops of rain plop, plopping off the window sill onto the garden below. There was no Moon visible because the cloud was so heavy. Wrapping his cape around him Vlad felt very glad that he was inside on a night like this. This had not always been the case. Time was that Vlad would have revelled in this type of weather and he used to like nothing better than flying around in a thunder storm dodging the lightening and dancing to the thunder. Not tonight though he was warm and cosy inside this house with all his friends and family around him.

It was some time later and Vlad must have nodded off because he was awoken with a start by aloud banging at the window. Rubbing his eyes Vlad peered out into the gloom trying to see who or what was making such a commotion. Slowly his eyes adjusted to the darkness outside and he saw a drenched bat smiling or snarling, it was hard to tell which. Carefully Vlad eased the window open and invited the sopping creature into the house. After he had given the bat a towel and a warm drink he asked him what he wanted. The visitor was very black and short sighted and Vlad had to chuckle as the bat addressed a duster that had been left on the sill next to him. Tapping him on the shoulder Vlad said “I’m here old chap, unless you have bought an important communication for the duster and as I am the only creature in this household named Vlad I do not think that that is very likely.”

The bat turned around, stretched his wings and then using his sonar instead of his eyes he found, he whom he sort! Bowing deeply he handed Vlad a rolled parchment tied with a crimson ribbon that was edged with gold. Vlad took a deep breath as he recognised the writing on the front of the parchment; it was from the Grandmother with The Invisible Cape. Instantly Vlad knew that this could only mean one thing……TROUBLE! As you can see not only with a capital T but completely spelt in capitals! With shaking paws Vlad took the letter from the outstretched bats paws and looked at it, then decided to read it later. As he did the bat bowed him another deep bow and then without any warning disappeared in a puff of smoke leaving behind only a few ashes to prove that he had ever been there. “Hum” thought Vlad “that was a little melodramatic and uncalled for; he had not even finished his drink!”

It was all quiet and Vlad was on his own again. He had pushed the parchment to the other end of the window sill and was trying to ignore it. As the thunder and lightening thrashed about outside and the rain splashed against the window Vlad tried very hard not to notice that the parchment had two claws sticking out on either side. As the noise of the thunder clapped overhead Vlad tried very hard not to see that , slowly it was creeping towards him. As it got closer and closer Vlad could hear the unmistakable voice of the Grandmother with The Invisible Cape and the closer it got the angrier it sounded. “I know you are there Vladimir, and I know that you know I am here too. Just stop pretending this is not happening and talk to me!” Then with a final flourish the parchment upended itself, unfurled, to reveal a very red faced and angry black caped figure.

To say that the Grandmother with The Invisible Cape was an imposing sight was an understatement.From the pointed black ears that stuck out of her black lace viel to the pointy black shoes that stuck out from underneath her voluminous black skirts.. She looked scary enough but when she spoke Vlad visibly paled, not a sight seen often. “Just what do you think you are doing keeping me waiting like this?” Roared the Grand mother. “I have travelled thousands of miles as this message and you shove me in a corner.!!!” Vlad realised that this was of course not the real Grandmother with the Invisible Cape just her message, though this was scary enough. She was now coming towards Vlad waving her black and silver walking cane at a, by now, quaking Vlad . Holding up his paws to protect himself from the blows now reigning down on him Vlad said, as calmly as he could. “Please, please what is the message, I am listening. Look I am all ears.” Seeming to double in size the message took a deep breath and looked Vlad in the eyes and announced “You are to present yourself to the Grandmother with the Invisible Cape, at the Family castle in Transylvania tomorrow.” With that she held up her hand to silence any objections that Vlad was about to make, then as the room lit up with a lightening flash she disappeared, just as the bat who had bought her had done.

Standing alone in the dark Vlad brushed the dust, left behind by the message, off of the window sill and sighed a sigh at the thought of the journey he now had to make.

Creeping upstairs so as not to wake anyone Vlad first wrote a note to Vladdette, his wife, to explain his absence which he hoped would be no longer than 24hrs at the most! And then he packed a few essentials into his cape, checked that all was well with the others and then left as silently as he could….This was not so much silent as noisy, he misjudged the window frame as he went to pass through the glass bashed his head on the plastic frame and as he tried to recover his balance his cape got caught on nail in the wall and he landed with an undignified thud on the front lawn. As he lay there in the pouring rain trying to recover his self composure he heard someone calling his name. It was white Ted “What’s going on Vlad? Have you gone mad? It is chucking it down out there!” “That fact has not passed my notice.” replied a very wet and by now irritable Vlad.What was he doing out here getting soaked when he could be inside, all warm and cosy. He took a deep breath and told white Ted about the visitor, the Message and the Summons. White Ted listened intently to Vlad and when his best friend had finished talking he said, without hesitation. “I will come with you, Vlad and keep you company on your journey.”

Vlad raised a paw as if to stop white Ted then he seemed to stop and think. Perhaps white Ted could be of assistance; if nothing else he was always a good friend to have in your corner. So lifting his head up Vlad smiled at white Ted and replied, “That would be good if you are sure. Be quick my friend get your things and tell the others what you are up to.” As he flew up stairs white Ted heard Vlad say “we will have to travel light.”

The rain still had not let up and Vlad and white Ted were finding it very hard going. Their capes, now sodden, were weighing them down and the rain drops were blurring their vision. Their progress was none the less impressive, Vlad being a real Immortal Vampire Bear had special powers, though Vlad had not used them in ages and they were a little rusty. White Ted held on tightly to the back of Vlad’s cape and this allowed him to keep up with his supersonic friend.

They had been flying for fifteen minutes, now and had taken a route out over the White Cliffs of Dover, across Paris and the Eiffel Tower where the had stopped to see the city by night and look at the lights of Notre Dame and the Sacre Coeur whilst hanging upside down from the Glass triangle at the Louvre.They had then moved swiftly on over Germany then stopping for a few minutes in the Czech Republic for refreshment. They enjoyed a plate of pork dumplings and sauerkraut washed down a bottle of the, new Czech speciality wine, Ice and Straw, which they enjoyed very much. As they passed over Slovakia Vlad pointed out the village where the two Slove Bats had been born a long time ago. The rain had long since turned to snow and white Ted was getting very cold and tired. He asked Vlad was it much further as his paws were going numb.Vlad turned to him and said “Do you see those mountains up ahead, they are the Carpathian Mountains. We are entering Hungary now and soon we will see the Family Castle in the Trinova Mare Valley. So hold on my friend we are nearly there.” Reaching out Vlad pulled white Ted closer to him and shielded him from the snow and wind with his cape. “Look, look” cried Vlad “there is the Castle now over there on the highest peaks.” White Ted strained his eyes to see what Vlad was pointing at and to his surprise he could see two Massive castles looming up through the snow. Raising his voice above the noise of the howling wind he asked Vlad. “Which is your castle?” Vlad laughed “The bigger one of the two of course is ours that other one belongs to our neighbour and is called The Fortress of Sighisoara, it has a very chequered history.”

Before white Ted could ask any more questions he felt Vlad slowing down and descending towards the very big, dark and menacing castle. If white Ted was hoping for a soft landing he was to be unlucky! Vlad was as usual showing off, knowing that all the staff would be on the look out for his arrival he decided to give them a show. Circling the castle twice getting lower each time Vlad went into a fast dive pulling up at the last minute and soaring up into a barrel roll spiralling back and forth across the courtyard he was indeed putting on an impressive show. Unfortunately as he started to perform a Triple Sulko, the formidable figure of the Grandmother with the Invisible cape appeared at one of the windows and loudly commanded Vlad to cease this ‘Tom Foolery’. Vlad was so shocked that he lost concentration and white Ted who luckily for him fell onto a soft mattress that had for whatever reason had been thrown out into the courtyard. Stunned and shocked Vlad misjudged the height of one of the castle ramparts and smashed into the stone wall with some force. As he lay on the stone floor of the courtyard watching little stars dance around his head Vlad could hear the harsh voice of the Grandmother with the Invisible Cape Saying. “Boris, will you kindly go and collect the creature that landed on the mattress and while you are out there scrape up young master Vlad and bring him to me in the great hall!”

The Great hall was just that, a huge long room with a stone floor and high stone walls decorated with richly coloured tapestries and painting of Vlads’ ancestors, along the left side there was the most impressive display of medieval weaponry that you could ever expect to see! The centre of the room was taken up with the longest table you had ever seen it could sit thirty people or more, though it was not set for a meal it did have several large candle sticks and silver and gold bowls dotted about on it. The hall was dominated by a huge fire place above which was Vlad’s family coat of arms; the fire was alight and warming the top end of the hall. Next to the fireplace was a huge black chair upholstered in red and edged in gold, and sitting in this chair, dressed in black was the Grandmother with the Invisible Cape. She was sitting facing down the long hall and had a perfect view of the huge wooden, double doors at the entrance to the hall tapping her toes and fingers, and she was not a patient Bat....

White Ted, meanwhile, had had a soft landing and had been pleased to meet Boris who had gently scooped him up in his massive hand and carried him into the warmth of the castle. He had set him down on the kitchen table and then left him to take in his surroundings while he went out again to fetch, as he had put it ‘the Master’ as he went out into the courtyard he looked back over his shoulder and said to white Ted “Help yourself to the food and drink, my wife has prepared it especially for you.” And then he was gone. Left alone white Ted looked around him and could hardly believe what he saw, everything was so large, he was used to human large but this was different, this was huge! The room itself seemed endless and the ceiling as high as the mountains outside. Luckily though it was much warmer in here than it was outside and there was no snow falling that had to be a plus. Moving along the table, which was long and broad white Ted was shocked at how far he was from the floor and decided that it would be prudent to keep away from the edge. Venturing further up the table, which was set with all manner of cooking utensils and food and bowls all bigger and richer than he had ever seen in his life white Ted eventually found a plate of food and a steaming hot drink set out on china that was just the right size for him. He was starving all that flying had given him an appetite, though in truth it was not really that long since he and Vlad had stopped for a snack on route. Well he was not one to waste food so he picked up the silver knife and fork laid out for him and began to eat. He had not had many mouthfuls when he noticed a large face smiling at him. This was Olga, the wife of Boris, she was also larger than anyone white Ted had seen before but he was not afraid of her, he could tell instinctively that this was a kind and gentle being. “Hello little teddy, what is your name?” she asked her face lit up by her smile. “You seem very hungry, would you like some more food?” she enquired, “No thank you.” replied white Ted, he was nothing if not polite. “The food was absolutely delicious, thank you. My name is white Ted.” He then took a step backwards and in true bearmanly form, with a flourish of his cape he bowed a deep bow to Olga. As he straightened up he asked. “And may I have the privilege of knowing your name Madame?” “Of course you may it is Olga and I am the wife of Boris who bought you in here.” With this she held out a finger to white Ted which he took and shook, which was no mean feat when the finger in question is the biggest you have ever seen. “I see that you have accompanied the young master and from the state of you I can see it has been an eventful time for you.” Olga said, straightening white Ted’s cape. “Yes it was rather” replied white Ted. “I have not travelled so far or so fast before and I can tell you though it was very exciting I hope the return journey is a little less rushed!” Olga smiled at the little white bear and felt touched by the innocence in his eyes. “yes she said let’s hope it is” as she turned away for a second she added under her breath, “If return you do.” Then taking a deep breath she cleared her throat and was just about to add something when she was stopped before she could speak by the huge kitchen door swinging open with a resounding bang! White Ted and Olga swung round to see what had caused the commotion.

What a sight met their eyes, Boris was covered with snow and soaking wet, his coat and boots were covered with mud and his scarf, which was usually wound around his neck in three neat pleats was hanging down by his knees giving him an overall bedraggled look!!! “Oh my, what happened to you?” Asked a shocked Olga. “Hum” replied the miserable looking Boris. To white Teds surprise he noticed that Boris was actually smiling; despite his bedraggled appearance he looked happy?? Olga smiled a knowing smile and asked “Did you find the Master?” “Yes I did and here he is!!!!”

Just so you will understand why Boris was in such a state I will recount to you what had happened to him in the courtyard. If you recall Vlad was showing off and attempting to pull off a triple Sulko manoeuvre which he had sadly misjudged and slammed into the castle wall with such a force that he had landed splat on his back on the courtyard floor, after loosing hold of white Ted.

Well he had laid there for some time watching the pretty stars dancing around his head and the fairy blacksmiths banging hammers on anvils in his ears! As the dizzy feeling had slowly subsided he had heard footsteps approaching, large, giant footsteps. Pretending to be unconscious Vlad had lain very still and quiet waiting …. . He knew who was approaching. As the poor unsuspecting Boris arrived on the seen he was greeted by, a for all the world a comatosed Vlad. Unaware that he was being watched by the tiny sleeping figure Boris strode right up and bent down to gently pick up his master. It had been a long time, eon’s infact since he had seen Vlad and time had clouded his memory as to how mischievous his Master could be. Just as he stretched out his hand to pick up the prone Vlad he was shook to the core and dazed by the horrendous roar that Vlad had let out. To say that that was the shriek to end all shrieks was an understatement!! As the poor unsuspecting Boris was reeling from the noise Vlad had flown up his left trouser leg, through his thermal vest and out of his scarf at such a speed that Boris had been sent flying into the slush and snow of the courtyard. Having hold of Boris’s scarf Vlad proceeded to circle around the beset servant unravelling his scarf as he went. This continued for several minutes until Boris finally recovered himself and reached out a large hand and caught his spiralling Master as one would catch a Dandelion, fairy, seed. Well Vlad was so pleased to see his old friend; Boris had spent a lot of time taking care of Vlad when he was young. Boris was as everyone else inside the castle walls, immortal though unlike Vlad and the rest of his kind the servants could not leave the castle unless they were in the company of one or more of the Family for if they did they would age and die.

After a lot of larking around Vlad asked Boris how George and all the other servants and retainers were keeping. Boris Had replied that all were well apart from the odd aches and pains and believe you me the aches and pains in this castle were very odd indeed!!

Stopping short Vlad said with a sudden urgency “Boris have you seen my companion his name is white Ted he travelled all the way here to be with me and I dropped him when I heard you know who shouting at me? Is he ok, have you seen him?” Boris smiled at his Masters worried expression. “Yes Master I have seen him and he is safe and warm inside with Olga she has prepared you both a meal.” So with that they had both entered the kitchen.

After Olga had made a great fuss of Vlad and made sure that he and white Ted had had enough to eat, no mean feat. Boris reminded the Master that the Grandmother with the invisible cape was still awaiting him in the great hall. Now Vlad had been enjoying being back with his old friends and the other members of staff had all been in to see ‘the Master’ Vlad enjoyed holding court, as we well know. Boris gently reminded him that he had been summoned here for a purpose and that the purpose was getting very impatient. Vlad did not like being reminded of this and started to throw a tantrum, stamping his foot and thrashing his cape around and working himself up into real state. Boris, who was used to all this and was not impressed, banged loudly on the table and told Vlad in no uncertain terms that he was expected in the great hall NOW………………

As Vlad slowly pushed open the huge doors to the great hall he could hear a rhythmic, tap tap tapping of tiny black pointy shoes on the stone floor and the scrap scrapping of tiny sharp claws on the arm of a chair somewhere in the distance. He entered the vast hall and immediately he could feel the tension, a distant but fierce voice reached his ears. “Vladimir is that you, Why have you kept me waiting for so long?” The Grandmother with the Invisible cape did not sound happy. As these words resounded across the room Vlad felt the temperature drop to at least forty degrees below zero and he could see icicles forming on the chandeliers high above him. “Well!!” the voice boomed out again. “Are you going to keep me waiting all night?” Knowing that there was no sense in prolonging the agony Vlad flapped his cape and took off for the dark side of the Hall, dodging the icebound chandeliers he headed for the fire light at the far end of the room. As he neared the huge chair where the Grandmother with the Invisible cape was awaiting his arrival memories of centuries gone by rushed before him, making the room very crowded and difficult to navigate. Finally he arrived and landed on the arm of the chair…. Well I say chair it was more a throne, it was made of what looked like black ivory and the back and seat where covered in a blood red material the like of which no human eyes had ever seen. The strangeness of the chair did not stop there it was like a living thing and had four clawed feet and two clawed hands on the end of its arms. These feet and hands were tapping in time with those of the Grandmother with the Invisible Cape. “Hello Grandma.” Beamed Vlad, flashing his pearly white fans and bowing deeply. “Don’t you Grandma me you snivelling toad and you can stop crawling before you begin, as it will do you no good. No good at all!” the Grandmother with the Invisible Cape looked furious, her eyes sparkled as she spoke and smoke was coming out of her ears and mouth.

Ok thought Vlad there was no point in trying to flatter her when she was like this there was no reasoning with her! So clearing his throat he took another deep bow and said. “Please forgive me Grandmother, for keeping you waiting. It was very wrong of me but the truth is it was so tempting to stay and show off to everyone in the kitchen, when I knew all I would get from you was a frozen greeting and a telling off!!”Vlad had learnt over millennia that the blunter and more truthful you were with the Grandmother with the Invisible cape, the better things went for you. The tapping and scratching stopped immediately and the Grandmother with the Invisible Cape took in a deep breath. “You always were a spoilt show off but that is why I love you so much, always I have said to your mother that she has made a wonderfully spoilt creature in you.” As she finished speaking she threw her arms open wide and grinning a hideous grin levitated towards a similarly grinning Vlad.

The two of them embraced for a few minutes then Vlad being the one to break the cuddle stepped back and asked. “So, why have you summonsed me? Grandmother, what have I done wrong this time?” The Grandmother with the Invisible Cape raised her eye brows took a sharp intake of breath, folded her arms and then said. “Vladimir, I know it is your duty to travel this world and do as you see fit, which I must say to your credit you have done since before the beginning of time and you have” at this point her voice dropped and it seemed as if she might choke on her words.” Done a very good job.” These last words were almost inaudible and Vlad said. “Pardon Grandmother I did not catch that.” “Tough!” replied the Grandmother with the Invisible Cape. “I shall not be repeating it. I was saying so far you have made a passable job of things but of late you seem to have stopped your travels and to have settled down in a little house in a nondescript town in middle England of all places!!!!!!!!!!” as she came to the end of this sentence her voice was climbing as high as the ceiling and she was choking again. Noticing that Vlad appeared to be amused by the situation she demanded an explanation.

Now it is not often that Vlad is stumped for an answer or at a loss for words but he was now and he had no idea of what to say in his defence. He could see that the Grandmother with the Invisible Cape was in no mood to wait and he could see that her toes were beginning to tap again (as were those on her chair. which was inching closer and closer every silent second that passed.)

Vlad thought he was lost as he could not think a single explanation except the only one that the Grandmother with the Invisible Cape would not like. Sweat was dropping from is brow and he could feel the heat of his Grandmothers rage and the chair was now attacking his legs. Just as he decided all was lost the door at the far end of the hall burst open and in came Boris carrying White Ted on the palm of his hand and whatsmore he was followed by two richly dressed creatures. One of which was a bear the other, the female was a bat.

The Grandmother with the Invisible Cape had just raised her silver cane to Vlad when she was distracted by the sudden noise of the door opening and people or should I say creatures entering.

When she saw who was approaching she stopped and seemed frozen in time.

“Mother in law how are you, I must say you do not age at all. You look every bit as interesting as when I first met you.” Ivan the Vampire Bear approached the Grandmother with the Invisible Cape a large grin spreading across his face he was genuinely pleased to see her. Spreading his arms to give her a big cuddle he rushed towards the Grandmother with the Invisible Cape, who did not seem to share his enthusiasium and was visibly horrified by his advance! “Don’t start all that!” she command in a voice that could turn milk into yoghurt ay fifty paces. Then throwing up her hands and to Vlad’s’ relief dropping her cane she froze the approaching Ivan in mid flight. “That will sort him out for a while.” She muttered. Then the room was filled with unusual warmth, any warmth was unusual really in this place. The female of the couple Annuska, Vlad’s Mother and Ivan’s wife, was speaking. “Now Mother that was very unkind. You know how much he loves you he was so excited when I told him we were coming to visit. Please undo the spell.”

Vlad looked up to where his mother was hovering next to the static Ivan and waived. “Is that my Vladdy?” cried Annuska in delight “I did not know you would be here. How wonderful.” she clapped her paws and beamed from pointed ear to pointed ear. “Look Ivan its’ Vladdy look!” She said shaking the frozen bear by her side then remembering she snapped. “Mother will you please release Ivan at once!” “Alright.” replied the Grandmother with the Invisible cape, a nasty grin crossing her face. Quick as a flash she lowered her cane and before he had time to recover himself the unfortunate Ivan was sent crashing to the floor, just missing bashing into Boris as he went! “Thank you Mother.” tutted a rather annoyed Annuska. “Well.” Muttered the grandmother with the Invisible Cape “he is too nice to me for his own good and I have no patience for his simpering tonight.” Annuska was bristling visibly now as she helped Ivan to his paws and brushed his cape down lovingly. “He does not simper mother he genuinely loves you though goodness knows why, the way you treat him he should not even acknowledge you!” ending her sentence on a hiss Annuska again looked at Ivan and smiled, “are you alright dear?” she enquired. “Yes thanks beloved, I see the old dear has not lost any of her sense of humour in the years since our last visit.” Said Ivan putting his paw through Annuska’s and hugging her. “Is that you Vlad, my lad?” He called across the room as he caught sight of Vlad teetering on the arm of the big black and red chair. “What a good boy you are, how nice of you to visit your old Grandmother, when did you arrive, did you know we were coming?” Ivan was so pleased to see Vlad that he did not notice the Grandmother with the Invisible Cape, who was bristling with anger, approaching him from the side her cane poised to strike. Infact it was only the look on Vlad’s face and the horror in Annuska’s voice as she shouted out “No!” that he was, just in the nick of time alerted to the fact that he was in danger. As he swung around he came face to red face with the Grandmother with the Invisible Cape. “Oh Mother in law you want a cuddle” he beamed stepping foreword and catching her up in his arms he proceeded to dance her around in a big circle laughing and singing loudly as he did. This did not improve the Grandmother with the Invisible Capes’ mood in the slightest infact there was already smoke pouring out from her ears and mouth and her bat wings, normally hidden were nervously twitching for all to see. “Put me down you cretin!” She angrily shrieked at the blissfully happy Ivan. “Put me down before I have you put down!” She was screaming now and the icicles that had earlier formed on the chandeliers were now raining down on those beneath. Well Annuska thought that at this point something had to be done so taking hold of Boris’s arm she asked him to rescue the Grandmother and distract the affectionate Ivan before the Grandmother with the Invisible cape carried out her threats. Being her daughter Annuska knew only too well that the “old dear” was quite capable of carrying out her threats and much more!

Mission accomplished Boris and Ivan were settled in the kitchen by the fire drinking a bottle or two of the Grandmother with the Invisible Cape’s best wine enjoying a chat about the old times. White Ted who had been astounded and exhausted by the events of the night was asleep at their feet in a little bed that Olga had made for him. Meanwhile back in the Great Hall Annuska was trying to calm her mother down and at the same time asking Vlad what was going on for him to have received a summons here to the Castle. “Mother why have you sent for us all it is not convenient for us to drop everything at this time of year. We were in the middle of preparing the Winter Palace for the nearly new Millennium celebrations. I have so much to do and good as he tries to be Ivan, as much as I love him is as much help as a chocolate fire guard.” Vlad looked up at his mother, at this point licked his lips and smiled. Smiling back and patting his head Annuska continued “Mother it is most inconvenient of you to demand our presence right now when you know how rushed I am!” The Grandmother with the Invisible Cape again was bristling as she visibly grew several inches and moved towards her daughter, pushing Vlad out of her way as she went. “I will summons who I want when I want as urgently as I want!!” as she finished speaking her voice had risen to high shriek that was splintering the ice bound chandeliers. “and when may I ask was I to get my invite to these grand celebrations, had you sent the chocolate fire guard out with mine as I have not received it yet!!!!!!!!!!!!!” As she ended this time she turned on her heels and stomped back to her chair and as she sat down in it she tapped twice with her pointy toes and the chair raised itself up on its legs and scuttled back to the fire, turning its’ back on Annuska and Vlad as it went.

Well that explains a lot though Annuska to herself how typical of Mother to assume that we have forgotten her. Giving Vlad a knowing smile and a comforting pat on the arm she took a deep breath and began to speak. “Mother dear I have not sent any invitations yet, you know full well that the Snowman of Seidozero has not awoken from his long sleep yet and you are the first name on his Sub Artic list. Why do you always assume the worst of me? Have I ever let you down? When have you not been included in the past?” At this the chair slowly inched its way round so that the Grandmother with the Invisible Cape was again facing them. Looking a little shamefaced, but not a lot, the old bat cleared her throat and said. “Well, err ….. I um” just when it looked as if ,for once in Millennia, Annuska had struck her mother speechless a wicked glint sparked in the Grandmother with the Invisible Capes’ eyes and she triumphfully announced “You married that chocolate fire guard Ivan against my wishes and better judgment!” Smiling widely she awaited her daughters reply. She did not bargain on what she got though. Annuska, normally extremely patient with her mother went red in the face and she now began to grow in size and width. Her shadow filled the room and Vlad who had never seen his mother this enraged ran swiftly under the table for safety. “How dare you call my beloved Ivan that? I let it go the first time but not a second time.” Before Annuska could continue her mother cut in. “You called him one first.” Holding up her hand to silence her mother, no mean feat but she succeeded, Annuska continued, “I am allowed to call him what I want he is my husband and I love him.” Throwing her arms down by her side Annuska stamped her foot and the whole room shook icicles and dust flying everywhere. “Why must you always do this? Mother. Why do you always assume you are being hard done by? Let’s face it no one in their right mind would dare leave you out. We, least of all, Ivan and I love you dearly for all your bad temper and mean mindedness. Though for the life of me I cannot understand why Ivan loves you so much you treat him like dirt under your shoes.” With this Annuska threw her wings up in the air and after taking a deep breath shrunk to her normal size and sat on a near by chair. “Come here Vlad and give your mother a hug. Gosh I need one!” Slowly encase there were anymore falling icicles Vlad emerged from beneath the table and when he was sure it was safe rushed into his mothers open arms. The Grandmother with the Invisible Cape watched all this from her chair and slowly a smile crept across her wrinkled face.

Back in the kitchen White Ted had woken up and been introduced to Ivan and was now listening intently to the tales the other two were telling him. Snuggled up in the crook of Boris’s arm white Ted felt very safe and warm. Whether this warmth was from Boris, the fire or the glass of wine he had just drank he was not sure. Ivan was in full flow reminding Boris of the last time they had been salmon fishing on the Kola Peninsular. What a time they had had and what huge Atlantic salmon they had caught and taken back to the Winter Palace where the cook had prepared it for their supper and they had sat on the roof eating it and watching the show being put on by the Aurora Borealis. How the Sky had been lit up that night and after they had finished the meal they had all flown over the Peninsular so that Boris and Olga could see all the sights from the shores of the Barents Sea to the Bay of Kandalaksha taking in the LakesUmbozero and Lovozero and all the beautiful forests in between then they had stopped of for a cup of hot chocolate with the Snowman at Seidozero before travelling to Monchegorsk on Lake Imandra for a spot of late night skiing Needless to say they had slept late into the next day and Olga and Annuska had got bored waiting for them and gone to visit the Hibini Mountains where they had had a lovely day picnicking in the valleys and ice skating on the glaciers. White Ted was very taken with Ivan and could see where a lot of Vlad’s character had come from. He was certainly an entertaining chappy and good to be around. Just as they were about to open another bottle of wine Olga entered the kitchen and told them that Ivan and white Ted were to report to the Great hall at once. “Oh good” said Ivan jumping up and sending his glass crashing to the floor. Wine

and glass spreading all over the place. “Come on white Ted at last you get to meet my wonderful and lovely mother in law again.” With that he leaped over the broken glass and spilt wine and scooped white Ted up into his arms and was gone. “I shall never get used to that even if I live for ten million years, never.” Olga said shaking her head and stooping down to clear up the mess. “No” agreed Boris “that disappearing never gets easier to cope with does it?” and he too bent down to help his wife.

Ivan, as ever, was in a rush to get back to the great hall and his ‘beloved mother in law’. White Ted clung to him as fast as he could so as not to fall from any great height. “Listen Ted” Ivan said in a hushed voice “we will take the short cut through the hall of mirrors but do not tell the others that we came this way as they will only moan at me and I get moaned at enough without asking for it!” with this said he told white Ted to close his eyes and keep them shut tight until he was told otherwise. White Ted shut his eyes and held on tight to Ivan’s red and gold waistcoat and felt the rush of wind as they did a left turn he then felt something strange that he could not describe a sort of pushing and spreading feeling. Had he had his eyes open he would have been amazed as Ivan had just flown them through a four foot thick stone wall and they were now in along and narrow hall lined on both sides, ceiling and floor with huge mirrors. As they travelled through this strange place white Ted could not resist the urge to take a peep. Very slowly and carefully so that Ivan would not notice white Ted turned his head and opened his eyes. The first thing to strike him was the light, it was so bright and hot he was sweating and his eyes hurt so much that he decided that he would close them right away. Just at that precise second he caught sight of himself in the mirrors! I say saw himself because that was all he could see, he could feel Ivan holding him, he could feel Ivan’s breath on his forehead and he could hear Ivan’s voice as he sang a strange song. What he could not see, and this worried him, was Ivan! White Ted looked up, down and to both sides still he could not see Ivan what he could see to his horror was that they were heading towards a huge guilt mirror at the end of the room and Ivan was not slowing down! As the end of the hall got nearer and nearer Ted decided that he would have to trust in blind faith, so he closed his eyes and crossed his paws just as he felt the sensations he had felt on entering the hall and he assumed that they were out the other side safely. “Ok little one you can open the old peepers now and please remember what I told you we were never in the hall of mirrors!” Ivan said ending with a conspiratorial wink.

Annuska was rushing along the corridor that lead from the great hall to the top of the staircase where she was hoping to head off Ivan and white Ted as she rounded the fist corner she was amazed to come face to face with them both, Ivan looking guilty and white Ted stunned. “How did you get here?” asked Annuska coming to a dead stop then taking a deep breath she added “don’t answer that I do not want to know.” She smiled a knowing smile at Ivan and said I see you have bought the little white one. He is very cute and reminds me of Peter the polar bear we met years ago on that that short break we had in the artic circle on St Lawrence Island. Oh he was a sweetie too! But I digress I am out here to catch you both before you go in, Mother is in a terrible mood!” at this point she held up a hand to silence Ivan who was about to speak. “No Ivan do not interrupt me , we do not have much time and what happens next in there” she now motioned back over her shoulder with her paw “will not only affect you and I but Vlad, this little fellow, Vlad’s little family and some innocent humans. So listen to me good and take what I say in!” At this point Ivan started babbling on about his mother in law being a big softy and that he could win her round with a joke and a smile. Annuska was at screaming point when would this dear, kind hearted creature wake up and smell the coffee. This was not a fairy queen they were dealing with this was the Grandmother with the Invisible Cape and she was angry and threatening to call the neighbours in. The last time the Dracul’s had been invited in the place had been wrecked and it had frankly ended up as a bloodbath. No she decided she must take firm action and now. Quick as a flash she spread her wings and waved them over beloved Ivan’s head saying as she did “No words of wisdom shall escape from your lips tonight” and then just to be doubly sure she added “and no rubbish either.” Ivan tried to appeal to her but not a sound left his lips. “Right I think we are ready to face her now come on lets go and Ivan, I mean this, do not move from my side your sons’ and our futures’ depend on this!” Annuska then smiled at white Ted and said “Come to me little one and do not be afraid as long as you are quiet and stay with me you will be safe” then with a final warning look to Ivan she turned and lead the way back to the great hall.

Vlad meanwhile had been telling the Grandmother with the invisible cape about his wife and son, his friends and the human family that he was staying with. He was doing quite a good job and she was, at least, listening to him. As he explained how he had been bought in error, mistaken for a Halloween toy, travelled from New York America to Berkshire England in a suitcase and all his adventures since. He had her smiling, well as near to a smile as she could manage, at points he had her annoyed but on the whole she was beginning to see that Vlad had commitments to these creatures he called his family and also a begrudging love for the family of humans who for whatever reasons loved him very much. Things were going well, Vlad thought to himself, as he continued to explain that these humans only spent a short time in their world before they died. He knew that his grandmother new this fact well but he felt it was crucial to his case. “So grandmother their short lives are but a wink of your eye and they have given me much pleasure and I think I have given them pleasure too by allowing them to live in my presence. I only ask that you allow me to stay with them until the line dies out. This will not be long a mere century or two, nothing to you of such patience.” Watching the grandmother with the Invisible Capes’ face Vlad realised he was creeping too much and that she was loosing her temper with him so he quickly put in. “Alright, we all know you have no patience but you could visit regularly and I promise that I will bring the Vladdette and baby Vlad to see you often.” Seeing he was at last winning he decided to stop pleading his case while he was ahead. So with a coy smile he ended by saying “I have a friend called Abbi who makes a mean chicken soup and I am sure he and cook would get on like a house on fire.” This was a very apt turn of phrase as the cook was a partime pyromaniac. The tapping of the grandmothers toes and scratching of her claws, and that of her chair also, had stopped, she was considering Vlad’s’ case. ………………..Seconds then minutes ticked by Vlad sat down on the arm of the chair. The great hall was so silent that it was deafening …………..you could hear a rubber band drop! The chair started to scratch its’ leg then suddenly stopped, feeling embarrassed by braking the quiet! This went on for what felt like ages and just when Vlad felt he could take it no longer and his head would burst…………….. CREAK the door at the far end of the room swung open.

“Mother” called Annuska as she entered the hall cradling white Ted gently in her claws and followed by a smiling Ivan who was waiving furiously to the Grandmother with the Invisible Cape. Spotting this Annuska slapped his paw down and hissed “be still will you and leave things to me” a crest fallen Ivan lowered his paw and bowed, in obedience to his wife. “Here we are mother as you requested all of us including the little white one. See I have him here in my claw.”

The Grand mother with the Invisible Cape looked up from her chair, her face a picture, not a nice one but a picture all the same. “And?” she replied curtly looking at her son in law and daughter as they approached. “And!” answered Annuska as she landed delicately in front of her mothers chair, which tried, unsuccessfully to trip her up, nasty thing. The Grandmother with the Invisible Cape watched as Ivan bumped down and stood quietly beside his wife. She waited a few seconds and when he had not opened his mouth she asked “What is the matter with him has the bat got his tongue?” she then proceeded to cackle at her own joke. No one else even smiled but she was undeterred and carried on by adding “No sickly sweet greeting for me Ivan my little slug?” Annuska squeezed Ivan’s paw to reassure him, though he did not need it as his hide was, metaphorically speaking ten foot thick. Deep breath time again for Annuska and then she announced. “Mother have you listened to what Vlad has to say in his defence?” “I have!” replied her mother. “And have you reached a decision about his future?” “I have” said the Grandmother with the Invisible Cape, possible a smile crossing her lips but it could have been indigestion. Again there was silence and the only sound was the fire crackling and then to everybody’s surprise white Ted piped up. “Well what is it then? Please.” The silence continued, if a little shocked by the interruption. Then as if it were the simplest of matters the Grandmother with the Invisible Cape said, “Thank you white Ted for your directness I like that. After some consideration and great thought I can see that Vlad has done well over the centuries. He has worked hard as the representative of this great family and has caused havoc not only in this universe but also in many others too. After more thought I can see that he may deserve a short rest and as he seems to have a family to support now it would be unworthy of me to punish him.”

At this point she was interrupted by white Ted again. “Punish him for what?” all eyes were on him now, then slowly all eyes turned back to the Grandmother with the Invisible Cape who was shaking in her chair. No one new that she was actually laughing but she was. “Punish him for neglecting his duties and me; punish him for allowing his powers to grow rusty with disuse. But as I said I will not punish him if he will spend time here with me every once in a while to hone his powers back to full strength. Also he must bring the Vladdette and Baby Vlad here to spend time at the castle. I shall also be making impromptu visits to Berkshire to meet the friends and also the lowly humans he is gracing with his presence.” Every one was waiting with baited breath to see if she was finished. She was not “Furthermore I demand that my invitation to the nearly new Millennium party be the first to be delivered and that Ivan brings it personally.” As she ended the Grandmother with the Invisible cape reached out to her daughter and said. “Give me that little white Bear I would like a chat with him and Vlad.” With that she snatched white Ted from Annuska’s claw and then looking at Annuska and Ivan she shouted “I thought you were busy, do you not have a party to organise. Well don’t just stand there be gone. Get organising, things will not get done at the Winter Palace with you two numskulls standing there with your mouths open!!!”

As they left the great hall Annuska removed the spell from Ivan so as they went the Grandmother had to listen to a string of endearments from him. This greatly annoyed her as Annuska knew it would. Left alone in the great hall Vlad, white Ted and the Grandmother with the Invisible Cape talked long into the night. The next morning after a huge breakfast the entire castles’ staff turned out to waive Vlad and white Ted off on their return journey home. Before they left they made arrangement for the Grandmother with the Invisible capes’ first visit to England and they would all see each other at the party at the Winter Palace on the Kola Peninsular very soon.

That as they say is another story as was the journey home!!!!!!!!!!!!1

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

2007-07-05T23:49:00.001+01:00

Good evening friends. It is quite a while since I have had time to stop and take time out of my busy schedule to talk to you. I did try to talk to you all last night but due to the incompetence of the week minded assistant there were too many technical hitches and so with her tied up and lock in a cupboard I am having to resort to wearing out my paws and claws by doing this myself!!!!

Yesterday was a magnificent occasion ( totally spoilt by the WMA ) What I hear you ask was the occasion? Well you need wonder no more as I will tell you now!! Yesterday was the very first Anniversary of of my illustrious Blog #### yes we have been communicating now for just over a year!

What times and adventures we have shared ? I have taken you through time and space, we have traversed Galaxies and Universes and seen sights and sounds beyond your wildest dreams. You have met my families human and inhuman, including the weak minded assistant and her family, friends and their cats. Also you have been treated to a glimpse of some of my many properties and estates... not to mention meeting the Grandmother with the invisible Cape, her throne and her miscreant cat Tommikns.

We have together foiled the evil Millaine the Villain from defeating the Empress Valentina , solved the mystery of the stolen Christmas . You have been taken along to not only the preparations for, but the actual vampire parties that you honestly had no business to attend ( being mere mortals).

I have taken you on frequent visits up north to watch the Aurora Borealis , whilst I have had to deal with our rather inebriated servant who deals with that task. You have met my friend Mother Nature and heard all her worries about your tiny planet ... It fact thanks to you I have been spending a lot of time up North and South breathing cool air on to the polar ice caps to stop global warming!!!

Together we have saved Madge ( she of the loose legs and even looser morals ) from the wicked clutches of Raynard the Fox!! We also spent an exciting time at the Tower of London sorting out the ghosts who were disturbing my friends the Ravens. And much, much more . OH! such times we have had.

What's that , it is the dulcet tones of Vladdette calling to me , she needs my assistance, coming my dearest ....... Yer, right, you have it in one , I am out of here!!

What's that you say... the photos ? the first is of my inhuman relatives and slaves , the second is a mixture of friends human and otherwise and the last is Rex and I on our hols last month in Sardinia!!

The Vladdette approaches I must be gone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vlad loves Last FM

2007-06-10T00:36:00.000+01:00

Last FM rocks and VLAD says try it out!!!!

2007-06-10T00:13:00.001+01:00

2007-06-10T00:11:00.001+01:00

Pelonious,iceburbs and wanderers

2007-02-02T10:03:00.000Z

Good Morning my friends unusual as it is for me to be speaking to you before I settle down in my cosy coffin for a rest, I though I would honour you all with my wisdom today!! Yesterday I was most busy helping the human father as he demolished and removed a set of concrete steps and part of a brick wall.. Heavy work yes indeed but to one like me en dowered with supernatural strength and energy it was a mere trifle ( the same cannot be said of the human father).
Do you recall that I had had , yet once again , occasion to trek up North the other night to sort out our less than useful 'retainer of the Aurora Borealis ' who as usual not been taking his job seriously. Still never mind that as I was going to say whilst I was there I bumped into an old friend Pelonious Penguin!!
Well we went to his igloo ( a most impressive place ).
After a we had had a drink he told me that there had been several sightings of a strange woman . This woman had been seen wandering out on the iceflow ...apparently she had a very worried look on her face and appeared to measuring something !! I was , ofcourse intrigued!!
GOOD GRIEF!!!! is that the time I must get some shut eye or I shall not get through this day as I have a full programme of landscape gardening , and shredding
of important documents down at the mothers, friends office ...oooooooooh! I love that mechine. I really must retire for some rest and I promise I will be back soon to tell you more about the woman on the ice, incidentally there is a photo of her at the top of this blog..................................

Subdifuge and strange sightings??

2007-01-31T18:32:00.000Z

The Feeble minded assistant has been very preoccupied these last few days, she has been rushing around arranging things for herself........ I ask you how selfish is that ?? Never mind that I am the most important thing in her life she should not be neglecting me!!!
As, those of you who have made my acquaintance , will know, I am not one to sit around wondering what she is up to . I have , after extensive investigations discovered that she is planning a holiday!!!! YES a holiday and as yet she has said nothing to me about it so I can only imagine that this is an oversight on her part....well lets face it she and Mr Oversight are not unacquainted are they? I have been through her computer and discovered that she has booked herself airline tickets and Insurance and has been in contact with one of her sisters ( and not the Aunt frank) who is abroad!!!..But there is no mention of me??? A simple lapse of memory I am sure!!
You may recall there other evening I had , had occasion to travel up North to attend to the Aurora Borealis, which our untrustworthy retainer had messed up again!! Well whilst I was there I met my old friend Pelonius Penguin....... I have known him for years and we have had some wonderful times together. He was extreemely pleased to see me and invited me back to his place for a hot drink and a good old chat! So we made our way across the the floating bergs to his magnificent igloo There is a photo at the top of this blog showing a few members of his illustrious family floating around ! After we had had our drink and some light refreshments Pelonious told me of the strange ( but regular sightings ) there had been of late of a mysterious woman out on the ice flow!............ OH! please excuse me but is that the grandmother I hear...good grief it is ....I am off before she collars me to do any more of her damn audit ....until we meet again good night ... I will continue this tale but not right now...............................

Check This out Bjork Lovers

2007-01-30T13:14:00.000Z

VISITING THE ULTRAVERSE

2007-01-27T18:03:00.000Z

Again I have been so busy that I have not had enough time to to stop and chat to you as much as I would like! I have learned of the the millions of years that I have been 'FLAPPING' around this universe that this is the time of year the you newcomers (HUMANS) feel in much need of comfort and solace.... you all seem to wane in the the absence of the sun ...especially those of you who reside in the northern hemisphere of the this tiny planet Earth!! Perhaps that is the reason you are all doing your damdest to reduce your blue and green world to a dead and barren dessert.......... OK OK I have lectured you all enough on the subject and if you are all, as it would seem hell-bent on careering off into oblivion ...so be ,SO BE IT !!
This morning I returned from another universe one I have no doubt you have no comprehension or knowledge of . The Grandmother had asked me if I would visit the "Ultraverse" and check her properties there for her. You may recall my mentioning that she was hold an audit of all her properties in each universe ( Yes there are more than one and more than your clever clogs scientist think they know of!!)
When I left you last you will remember that I was off up north to check out the Aurora Borealis yet again our untrustworthy servant had had a tough too much of the evil brew and had slept through his alarm. I had to awaken him and get him sobered up so that the Northern Lights as you call them could be on display!!
While I was busy with the errant light keeper I ran into an old friend Pelonios Penguin , a very dear friend of mine who is also an immortal! I have enclosed a photo of him at the bottom of the blog as you can see he is a fine figure of a Penguin.
Whilst I was visiting the the Ultraverse I took a photo of your lovely world ..... and though the colours are a tad strange I think even your eyes will be able to see the beauty of it!! I have put that photo at the top of the blog tonight! Well duty once again calls and i must be off and at them!! I will tell you all about the adventures i had in the Ultraverse next time we meet..I bid you all a GOOD NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-01-25T20:22:00.001Z

Good evening my dear friends..... I have been so busy of late I have not had time to catch my breath!!! The feeble minded assistant has been most busy at work as many of her colleagues are either off sick or taking leave which has meant that those who are left are working extra hard.
I have had great fun lately spreading angel dandruff all over your little kingdom. Such fun watching those of you who live up north having to dig your way out of your gardens, trains grinding to a halt and traffic on the motorways slowing to a crawl .... and on the smaller roads to a complete standstill. I was particularly pleased with my efforts on Wednesday night I work extremely hard over the capital and when you all awoke you found that London itself resembled Siberia !!
The mothers friend ( the one with the office overlooking the trains) has some strange breed of creature visiting her office this week. A very dodgy breed called auditors. I have so far spent two afternoons observing them and all they do is compare
pieces of paper and add up numbers .....well I have mixed up some of their sheets for them ...that should keep them busy.......................
The Grandmother with the Invisible Cape has been very busy making an audit of her properties...... she is much stricter than your human auditors there only needs to be one cobweb out of place for heads to roll!! She was , though most impressed with the progress that the two boys of mine have been making with their night flying. If I say so myself both Vlad-san and Baby Vlad are now most impressive flyer's and swoopers!!Well my dears I must away as yet once again there is a problem with the Aurora B0realis and muggins here has to go and sort it out....no doubt Tommikins and a large bottle of wine will involved.
so farewell for now my dears!!

Ozone Repairs, Flying Vampire Bears and Fresh Air powered Cars

2007-01-14T20:36:00.000Z

Today was an absolutely wonderful day for flying and boy did I take advantage of it ?? Well of course I did and I took Baby Vlad and Vlad-san with me ..... It did me a power of good to see those two princes of my realm whooshing here and there and looping the loop and dive bombing the unlucky Magpies that we encountered. The sun was up the sky was blue and the wind had dropped a tad. I do believe that all the hard the boys and I had put into helping Mother Nature on Friday night has paid off....... but be warned it is only a temporary fix you lot must buck up and make some serious changes your self!
Last night I accompanied the human Mother and Father to the Theatre and what an interesting time I had the humans greatly enjoyed the show and I had great fun buzzing the performers and making mobile phone ( belonging to the audience ) ring ...Tee Hee such fun!! As it was a rather old Theatre I met some very old friends lurking around in the wings and gliding along the Mezzanine .....................
The humans had the grandmother without the invisible cape around for the day and cooked he a splendid lunch ...As I have said before she is not to confused with my Grandmother, she of The Invisible Cape , as I have said before that would be fatal!!!!!!!
Well I must away things to do ghouls to see..... the photos? OH! yes one is of the boys and I sorting out the ozone the other night,and the CAR !!! Yes a present from Mother Nature ...it runs on Fresh air ....I do not lie it runs on fresh air!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HEADACHE PILLS AND MOTHER NATURE

2007-01-12T22:20:00.000Z

WHAT A DAY I HAVE HAD !! THE MOTHER HAD AN APPOINTMENT AT THE DENTIST...UNFORTUNATELY SHE NEEDED NO TORTURE THOUGH THEY STILL MANAGED TO CHARGE HER £30 FOR THE PRIVILEGE OF BEING TOLD SHE NEEDED NO WORK DONE? SHE THEN HAD TO GO TO WORK , WHERE CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS ,SEVEN HUMANS IN HER SECTION WERE OFF SICK AND SO THOSE THAT WERE LEFT STANDING HAD TO WORK HARDER FASTER AND LONGER!! FUNNILY ENOUGH, THOUGH SHE DID NOT MOAN OR COMPLAIN ABOUT ANY OF THIS AND JUST SEEMED TO TAKE IT ALL IN HER STRIDE ....LETS US SAY IT ALL SEEMED TO GO RIGHT OVER HER HEAD. I PUT IT ALL DOWN TO THE NEW PILLS SHE IS TAKING FOR A PERSISTENT HEAD ACHE!! NO I AM NOT TO BLAME AND I TAKE THE GREATEST OF EXCEPTION TO YOU EVEN HINTING THAT I AM.
PERSONALLY I SPENT THE MORNING WITH THE MOTHER'S FRIEND WHO IS CARRYING OUT A MOST IMPORTANT AUDIT. TODAY WAS EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD AS WE SPENT THE ENTIRE MORNING IN THE VIDEO CONFERENCE ROOM ...I HAD LOTS OF FUN WITH ALL THE EQUIPMENT BEHIND THE FRIENDS BACK!! :)
ON AN EVEN MORE PERSONAL NOTE I AM STILL WORKING HARD TO PROCURE ENOUGH MONEY TO REPURCHASE THE GRANDMOTHER'S CASTLE SHE IS AS WE SPEAK HOLED UP WITH TOMMIKINS AND GREGORE THE BUTLER. THEY ARE REPELLING ALL PROSPECTIVE BUYERS WITH BOILING OIL (VIRGIN BOILING OIL , THAT IS, NOTHING BUT THE BEST). ON MY TRAVELS TODAY I VISITED MY FRIEND MOTHER NATURE .SHE HAS SOME JOBS FOR ME AND IS WILLING TO PAY ME HANDSOMELY AND CONSIDERING MY PRESENT, EMBARESSING MONEY SITUATION, I AM MORE THAN GRATEFUL TO ASSIST HER. SHE HAS ASKED ME TO MEND A WHOLE IN THE OZONE AND REPAIR THE MELTING POLAR CAPS......WELL AS YOU LOT ARE NOT INTERESTED IN DOING SO AND I AM TEMPORALLY SHORT OF FUNDS I SNAPPED HER HAND OFF ( FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING ....EVEN VAMPIRES DO NOT MESS WITH MOTHER NATURE!!)
I MUST AWAY NOW AS THERE IS PLENTY TO GET DONE BEFORE THE DAWN AND THE VLADDETTE HAS ASKED ME TO TAKE THE TWO BOYS WITH ME AS SHE WISHES TO SPRING CLEAN THE COFFIN! WHY SHE HAS TO CLEAN THE COFFIN ( SPRING TIME OR ANY TIME)IS BEYOND ME..... BUT THERE IS NO UNDERSTANDING THE FEMALE MIND...HUMAN OR NOT. .................. BY THE WAY THE PHOTOS ARE BOTH OF ME WITH MOTHER NATURE DISCUSSING WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GREETINGS I AM BACK AT LAST....DID YOU MISS ME ??

2007-01-11T18:33:00.000Z

Good Evening Friends ....I know I have been absent for quite a while, but I have not been idle pawed!! After the normal New year debarcle, that you humans make so much of! I have had to face up to some nasty family truths. As you know Tommikins ( the Grandmother's evil cat had got Ivan , my sweet natured father , into terrible trouble. Not only Ivan was inveigled into his webb of crime but also Madge the chicken was too!!
Luckily for me I got those original problems sorted just in time for Christmas Eve...... only to land myself in even hotter water. You will recall my friends Nycol and The Tzar , muckers of mine for sometime now. Well as it happens they had made the acquaintance of a couple of shady customers . To cut a long story short they got themselves ...and me ( I add to my shame ) involved in several games of poker with extremely high stakes!! Well at first all was going well but then , and for the life of me I cannot work out why, we were falling deeper and deeper into debt!! Well the drink and the nosh was free flowing and before too long I had pawned the Grandmothers Castle in Transylvania!! Well it made the National papers and went world wide on the net too !! There is was in Black and white and multi colour on the web....
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/01/09/wdracula09.xml

Gambling Debts !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-01-11T18:30:00.000Z

Well you can imagine the Grandmother reaction, not only to the fact that she was about to have her home sold out from under paws but that I was the instigator of the problem!! To add insult to injury it was in the press and and on the web and all sorts of Tosh was being written about it possibly being the Castle owned by Vlad Dracule , AKA Vlad the Impaler ...one of our minor and not so near relatives!!!!! well that was the finale straw for her! I am now as you can see from the photo at the top and bottom of my blog having to accrue as much of the readies and folding stuff as I can and as fast as I can......The Grandmother with with the Invisible Cape is not known for her patience!!!
The feeble minded assistant is as much help as a hole in the head...I have asked her to do overtime at work and she has refuse unequivocally to comply and the human father...well he is spending it quicker than I am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well I must be off I can't stand here chatting to you I must be off and earn earn >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

New Year same old Crap

2007-01-02T00:33:00.000Z

Well tell me do what on earth was all that commotion last night ...... a new year you say.... SO Bl#### WHAT, a new year is nothing to me, who has lived for millennia it is nought but the blinking of an eye!! Just why to you all make such a thing of it all promising to be nicer to each other .... making resolutions that you have absolutely no intentions of keeping..... Lets face it by the second of January you will be at each others throats... wars will still be waging ...children dyeing nations starving and fat cats getting fatter and greedier.
Face it you humans are a load of bigoted self-centred lying gits!!! I have seen you all repeat the same old crap, make the same mistakes and be down right nasty to each other for centuries and no doubt I will witness much more of the same . Yes you think you are so civilised ...go on spend Millions of pounds on Fireworks never mind the starving millions... never mind the homeless the cold . Be bigoted about gays, people of different colours, different nationalities go on carry on .. you will all disappear soon if you carry on!!!!!! I am carrying a guiding light for you all ( at the top of the blog no doubt you are all too blind to see it let alone follow it!!!)

Ok I have have had my rant .... the last one I had was a few months back ............. and you took no notice of that either. Well I would on behalf of my family and servants I would like to wish you all a happy and healthy 2007 ... but to be honest it would be completely pointless as, for as much as I have taken you humans to my heart ( metaphorically speaking as I do not have a heart) you are a lost cause and seem hell bent on making each other unhappy ans wasting all the resources of your planet!! I shall just say think on what I have had to say tonight and try now ... even though it is too late , to be better beings. Photo at the bottom of the Blog is another friend I met whilst pursuing Tommikins the sleigh thief....and to be honest he is worth a dozen of human beings ... think on !"!!

Festivities End HO HO HO HO!!

2006-12-26T22:01:00.000Z

Good evening my friends , what a a time I have had these past few days.... it was all entertaining on Christmas Eve !! Not withstanding that I also had to sort out Nick and his delivery problems...well that done it was all down to supervising the feeble minded assistant to do the cooking and keep all concerned happy!!
I tell you now , troublesome as Nick's problems had been it was the easier of the two tasks!! ......Never mind my travials how was your Christmas did you all survive without bludgeoning each other ...my human family did and even seemed to enjoy each others company! On other other hand my inhuman family do not, as such, celebrate Christmas. They all tend to hole up at the Castle in Transylvania drink a lot of the red stuff and eat what ever comes to hand and terrorise the locals...... I love that bit!! The castle is so unwelcoming ...damp, dank and cold just what the DR ordered!! Mother and father go out of their way to decorate the place with wreaths and dead flowers and the Grandmother lays on a banquet fit for the dead!! So refreshingly unlike your fluffy wuffy sweety weety all is lovely ..joke !! Half of you are pretending and the rest are just plain miserable ...... Hold on, sounds just like the tickets to me!!
Anyway I have not got time to hang about here as I have to take the boys out to teach them how to terrorise the peasants!! ........ Do you remember I told you while I was out looking for the stolen sleigh I met many new friends the photo at the bottom of the blog is of two chaps I met on my travels ... Gary and Baldy
will fill you in on their pedigree later.... Must be off so will speak to you all soon . So relax now all the festivities are over so now you can all slump back into your old ways and stop pretending to be enjoying yourselves!! ........................................

ALL IS WELL THAT ENDS WELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-12-24T21:48:00.000Z

Hold the front page!!!
I am so sorry that you have had to manage without me around to help..... but you will just have to appreciate that things have been absolutely horrendous for me!! Not only have I had to rescue my father from the wicked clutches of the evil Tommikins ( so beloved of the Grandmother with the Invisible Cape) But I had to save Madge the gingham chicken ( she of the loose nerves and even looser legs!!)
My father had been duped into stealing my friend Nick's sleigh , which incidentally was fully loaded with Christmas presents for the children ( and young at heart who still believe) of you tiny little Universe.
The trouble is that my Father, Ivan is such a kind and trusting creature that Tomminkins only has to feed him some 'cock and bull' story and Ivan falls for it every time!!.......... Madge on the other hand is such a neurotic and skittish bundle of nerves that Tommikins had to hypnotize her and use her ,Svengali - like ..thus turning her into a cunning and devious accomplice, she is as we speak under going intensive treatment at an undisclosed clinic!!
Anyway I am pleased to announce that after many a twist and turn ..some of which I have shared with you,some which have been too scary to .. and some , like the undercover observations, too boring to trouble you with! I have at last tracked down and retrieved the sleigh ( last seen swooping over Peterborough) and its entire contents!! It was not an easy task and took me completely out this Universe and through several others . I shall be filling you in on some of my exploits and the beings I encountered over the next few weeks .
For now I just wanted you all to know that you can rest assured that all is well and you can all sleep well in your beds tonight safe in the knowledge all your pressies will arrive whole, complete and BANG!!!! on time. Nick has asked me to accompany on his rounds tonight .... as the reindeer have been badly spooked by this whole , sad and sorry affair, and would feel much safer and secure if I am with them tonight! ...... I am just about to settle the two boys ( the Vladdette being out tonight partying with friends ) then I am off to to assist Nick ,with Nycol and the Tzar riding shot gun .
This is only for show as I have made sure the instigator of all this trouble is back with the Grandmother and she has promised to keep him locked in tonight!!
Well all that is left for me to do now is to wish you all a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS and wend my way up North ....................... The photos tonight are, at the top of the blog me with some of my cards and presents saluting you, and one of Nick and I at the very second we discovered the trail of presents that lead us to the stolen sleigh!! .................. Good night and sleep well!!

RANSOM NOTES FLUTTERING ABOVE PETERBOROUGH

2006-12-18T21:28:00.000Z

I HAVE NO TIME TO STOP AND CHAT THIS EVENING AS THINGS ARE DASHING ON AT AN ALARMING PACE!!!!!!!
TOMMIKINS HAS BEEN SPOTTED FLYING THE MISSING SLEIGH ABOVE PETERBOROUGH! HE WAS HEAVILY DISGUISED BUT DROPPING RANSOM NOTES AS HE WENT (RATHER A GIVE AWAY, WOULD YOU NOT AGREE??)
SO THERE IS NO TIME TO STOP AND CHAT THIS EVENING I MUST BE OFF AND AFTER HIM!!

THE NET IS AT LAST CLOSING !!!

2006-12-17T18:27:00.000Z

Good news this evening ...Ivan ( my father ) has thawed out and recovered enough to tell us that he was kidnapped by Tommikins and under threat of my life!!!!! I ask you how long will it take him to realize what the word IMMORTAL means???Like myself Ivan is immortal ...... what does he not understand about being immortal?? obviously nothing !! It appears that the infamous, Tommikins, informed Ivan that the Grandmother with the Invisible Cape needed him to perform a special favor for her and that is , how easily my soft hearted dad was dragged into this terrible scam!! SCAM, SCAM WHAT SCAM I HEAR YOU SHOUT!! It appears that Tommikins had it all planned first steal sleigh fully loaded with presents, then send out ransom notes ....... thirdly make sure all attempts at replacing the sleigh were thwarted THEN TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN. It does not end there , no wish that it did, but it gets worse!!
You recall all the incriminating evidence we have on Madge? Well you can believe it is all true ...... but even worse she has no knowledge of how of how she had committed these crimes ... because that cad and bounder Tommikins has hypnotized her and is using her Svengali like . No wonder she denied all and was so convincing!!! I must be off as there are still many leads to follow and time is running out fast!!! Below is a photo of a shocked , stunned and very tired Ivan.
Fear not the net is closing and I have things in hand........... crossed paws!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

More missing sleighs... Lieing Chikens and tine ticking on!!!!!!!!!!

2006-12-16T22:21:00.000Z

Once again dear friends you catch me, only fleetingly as I pass through.... ( this time from the Aunt Frank's house on my way back to the north pole ) Things have taken an even more sinister turn. Yesterday in Peterborough, a northern town on you little island , a sleigh being prepared to assist Nick with his deliveries was stolen as was the truck it was mounted on!!!!!!! The police in that area have requested that I help them as they think their theft and Nicks may be related!
Personally I have absolutely no doubt, what so ever that they are!! Not only is the modus operandi similar but there were , found at both crime scenes, a large footprint, a set of cat paw prints and lastly and most damming a trail of chicken prints and feed!!!!!!! I have just left the Aunts house where I have spent the last hour interviewing the ' mild mannered Madge ' who is still professing her innocence?? I ask how can she still be doing so when my spies have photographic evidence of her involvement in this sad and sorry affair. I am afraid that although as good as banged to rights she is denying all charges ( pulling that pathetic 'I am too weak and nervous to leave the house' routine )..... well it won't wash with me Madge, love NO NO!!
There is some light on the horizon I have managed to locate and , as usual rescue my hapless father. Annuska and I found him gagged and bound and left on the shores of the Sea of Tranquillity ........ we are waiting for him to thaw out and get his breath back .... so he can fill us in what is happening. I can delay no longer and must return to the Interpol incident room where Nick is awaiting me. Below is the above mentioned photographic evidence incriminating Madge...well Aunt Frank explain that ....IF YOU CAN?

No News Is Bad News###########

2006-12-14T16:36:00.000Z

Well things have not got much better of late...Since the ransom note arrive a deadly silence has fallen on the whole matter.I have to admit that despite all my best efforts and those of my team not much progress has been made! Nick and I have been out day and night scouring this planet all the neighbouring ones for signs of the sleigh and the perpetrators of this horrible crime !! Above is a photo of Nick and myself trudging through the frozen waists Pluto all to no avail.
I am so concerned as what the reaction of the children of the world will be if they wake up on Christmas morning to find no presents have been delivered .... and a nasty ransom note left where the presents should be!!!!!
Tommikins and my Father ( he who is so easily duped and led ) are still missing no one has seen them since before the sleigh went missing. Madge however has kept up her presence at the Aunt Franks but ( even though the Aunt denies that Madge has left the house) I know different ....Madge has been clock leaving and returning the Aunts house .. by my spies . Unfortunately al be it Madge is of a nervous disposition it has not stopped her giving my guys the slip. So where she has been and who she has been meeting is still a mystery.... though I cannot confirm it yet I know that she has been meeting Tommikins and that he is the mastermind behind all this trouble is of no doubt to me!...How Ivan fits into all this I am not at all sure and neither is Annuska my ( very worried mother.
Well my lovelies I must get back on the trail Nick and Mrs Claws are as we speak sat by the phone at the North Pole awaiting any new developments .....I am off now on another search with Nycol and the Tzar , Mother is searching the outer planets ....The net is closing and we have things in hand but my worry is will be be in time to save Christmas??????????????

SHOCK NEWS FLASH.... TROUBLE AT THE NORTH POLE

2006-12-12T09:37:00.000Z

Shock...Horror... strange new developments at the North pole!! You remember I told you that my friend Nick was having problems with his reindeer ...threatening
to mutiny ? well that has just paled into insignificance! Some one has stolen the sleigh and worst of all it was fully loaded!! Can you imagine the global implications here...MILLIONS AND MILLIONS of children ...and adults not to mention Vampire Bears being deprived of the seasonal gifts that we have all come to expect ( well I expect them as I am a very important bear )
Nick had been up all night , he and his wife and many elf helpers had been frantically dashing round getting hold of contacts in the CIA, Interpol ,Scotland Yard and Garda calling in all old favours....So far to no avail!
Not only have I had all this to deal with but I was also supposed to be down at the feeble minded assistants friends office to help out whilst some VIPS , visiting from Japan are at her office.I had got the Vladdette to sort out ( and have cleaned my best Ninger outfit... so I could watch and report on their meetings by stealth!) due to all the cafuffle up North though dressed for spying I have not been able to attend the friends office.
I now have more breaking news a ransom note has just arrived .....it does not say much though .Just let me read it........... Apparently the bounders want three billion pounds in sterling and one hundred cases of kippers, and a birch of chicken feed....... most strange, also who ever wrote the note was not the best speller and there were cat paw prints all over the note.
I am at a loss as to what to make of all this and my friend Nick is at a complete loss as what to do. What now a bat has just arrived with a missive from the Grandmother with the Invisible Cape....... what has she to say ( as if I do not have enough to deal with at the moment.) Whats this that damn Tommikins is missing again and guess who has to go and find him..... Hang on my mother Annuska was saying that my father Ivan has not been seen since last night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I see a pattern emerging here........................... I shall have to go Nycol I think we can call off the CIA and Interpol I have an idea. Sorry I shall have to go things are going mad here so I shall keep you all informed as to what is happening, farewell for now. Photos yes tonights photo are one of myself with Nick and the other is a photo of the sleigh if you see it around please get intouch!!

Snow wars , motor bikes and hiden problems!!

2006-12-11T23:08:00.000Z

Good evening Gracious friends I was away at the North for longer than I expected to be. There were terrible troubles involving my mate Nick's reindeer they were complaining that the nosh being provided for them was not up to its usual standards!! Personally if you ask me I thought the standard was pretty low..... you can judge for yourselves from the photos .....well it looks like ...snow snow AND MORE SNOW!!!!
Well there was nothing but rumbling and grumbling among the herd. Snitson and Blitzon were very militant, Dancer and Prancer were simply abusive!! Things did get rather sticky at one point and and it looked as if there was a mutiny was on the cards at one point. Luckily Annuska was not busy and she popped up to the North pole with a huge sack of carrots and several bails of straw.
Madge has again been sending multitudes of emails , I am afraid that my patience on that matter is wearing a tad thin!! If she does not come clean and spit out what her problem is I shall, I am afraid have to take stronger measures to drag it out of her!!!!!!!!
The weekend was very hectic with visitors galore and a visit from at least a thousand motor bikers !! All dressed up like Nick and his helpers!! I joined in the spirit of things as the photo at the bottom of this blog will attest! I am so busy that I have no more time to stay here talking to you so I am up, up and away
and so farewell until I have more time................

Tree Dressing , Ivsibility and Nicholas

2006-12-06T20:01:00.000Z

Well today was an utter and complete washout and waste of time!!!! I was summons to the Grandmothers Castle in the heart of the Carpathian mountains to dress the trees in her forest ( it surrounds the castle walls and is so dense ,almost as dense as the feeble minded assistant,that it deters all but the most determined of travellers) a job I have never liked as she is so picky. Still I though make the most of it,Vlad I told myself....take the boy with you! So I took Vlad -san with me Baby Vlad being otherwise engaged , having a mansion haunting tutorial with Annuska and Ivan on the Isle of Wight. We arrived Vlad-san and myself in the mist of a blizzard a total white out ..to be greeted by Tommikins , the grandmothers infamous cat, I do not trust the bounder he is being way to pleasant to young Vlad-san. Tommikins and pleasant do not belong in the same sentence!! Therefore I spent most of the time there keeping an eye on said black cat!! Never being one to waste time I made sure that we both had our invisible capes on so that the boy had some extra training in the use of said appendage. As you will see from the photos at the top of the blog the lad is quite accomplished and the photo at the bottom of the blog shows that he has the art of Invisibility completely mastered I dare you to spot him!!
So whilst the human mother and father were wasting their day faffing around with relatives computers I was training my boy and if I say so myself making a very good job of it!!!!!!! The photos speak for themselves.
I am off tonight to visit a friend of mine who lives at the north pole and needs a lot of help t this time of year ..Nick has never been a good planner and always leaves things to the last minute .... though he is very good at making lists and checking them more than once!!
I am off now...what is that you ask ...what about Madge ...well today so far no emails so I am letting sleeping chickens lie , no doubt she will be in touch when her nerves next crack!!!! I am off and away now to see Nick and co ..any messages I can take for you???

Madge , night fishing and the Northern Lights

2006-12-05T19:29:00.000Z

Good evening all and how are you all coping? I have been so busy what with Christmas present shopping with the human mother and her friends and decorating the many, many of my properties , including the Castle in Transylvania!! I have enclosed a picture of my lovely Christmas tree unfortunately that half whit Prim the cat was lurking in the shot .... why the feeble minded assistant had not noticed her there is beyond me!!
If you remember I was busy at the weekend teaching Vlad-san to fly and was extremely impressed with his progress, today I spent the morning showing him how harras and harang humans and the proper code for the wearing of and using a cape of Invisibility! Tonight , along with the slove bats we will be taking a trip to the Winter Palace to show him how to night fish and to watch the Aurora Borealis.
I received another of those horrendously panicky emails from Madge .... yet again she is having turkey delusions , poor old gal is convinced that she is to be stuffed and served up at Christmas by the Aunt Frank.
It is to no avail telling her that she is way to long in the tooth for that to happen. I must add here that the Aunt Frank is no mean cook and as such would not serve up such a string old bird....... but Madge will not be told and is as we speak collecting evidence of what she thinks will be her fate!!!!! EG. hundreds of chicken leg and wing bones ( I have to admit the Aunt and her family are very partial to all things CHICKEN ) a fact they try hard to conceal from Madge.... Obviously they are not succeeding.
Well my dears I must away as it is getting late and we have a lot to teach the boy tonight!! I bid you goodnight and farewell for now ...................................

Flying lesson and histrionics

2006-11-26T20:26:00.000Z

WHAT A DIFFERENCE A DAY MAKES TWENTY FOUR LITTLE HOURS ,WITH THE SUN AND THE SHOWERS!!
THE WEATHER WAS GLORIOUS THIS MORNING THRASHING RAIN , THUNDER AND LIGHTENING WONDERFUL....I TOOK VLAD-SAN OUT FOR HIS FIRST FLYING LESSON AND I WAS MOST IMPRESSED WITH HIS PROGRESS.....NOT ONLY HAVE THE FLYING LESSONS GONE EXTREMELY WELL BUT THE MEETING WITH BABY VLAD WENT OFF WITHOUT A HITCH!!
OK I KNOW I AM SHOUTING , ALL RIGHT I WILL STOP NOW BEFORE YOU GET A HEADACHE!!
This morning I took both boys to Transylvania to meet the Grandmother with the Invisible Cape, she was not impressed with Vlad - san at first glance and to be honest she was a bit sniffy....goodness know why with her history which is very colourful, to say the very least!! Anyway she did eventually warm to him well no one could really resist him for long he is far to pleasant for his own good ( sadly he has a lot of my father in him , a fact that the grandmother did not fail to notice !!) I shall have to watch that that cat Tommikins does not lead the boys astray!!
Annuska , my mother and Ivan , my father have , as I have already said taken the boy to their hearts ( well they would of if they had hearts!!!) Ivan is busy teaching him the family history and Annuska is spending time with baby Vlad so that no ones nose is put out of joint!!
Well I must be off as there is still much to do I have still all my properties to decorate before the 25th of next month!!...So it is off I must go........................

UNEXPECTED PACKAGES AND EXPLOSIVE NEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-11-25T20:25:00.000Z

Today started with a bag!! I had not long returned from my travels I have spent the last two nights teaching Baby Vlad the rudiments of of night flying!!
ON my return the human mother approached me and said a package had arrived addressed to me. Apparently she and the human father took it upon their selves to open it! Luckily for them I am a very forgiving Vampire and I decided not to punish them for their nosiness!
The package , as it turns out was from the tame humans belonging to the Empress Valentina on the Isle of White!! Apparently they discovered a Baby Vampire left on their front doorstep...with Two notes attached, one saying "I can't cope ...I got no hope ... this belongs to Vlad" the other is the one you can read from the photo at the top of this blog!!! . Well being the wonderful person that she is the Matriarch took the baby in , fed and clothed it and then made preparations to send him on to me!! Well I can assure you this took me all completely by surprise but as I am a true and honest Vampire I sat down at once at the computer and email the Matriarch immediately to let her now all was well and I was not about to shirk my responsibilities!! I have enclosed a copy of that email below!

MY DEAREST MATRIARCH
THANK YOU FOR TAKING MY SON IN , HOW HE ARRIVED ON YOUR DOORSTEP IS A MYSTERY TO ME??
I DO NOT HAVE ILLEGITIMATE PRODIGY ALL MY OFFSPRING ARE RECOGNISED AND BY VAMPIRE LAW AUTOMATICALLY LEGITIMATE!!!! AS FOR THE MOTHER OF THIS UNFORTUNATE CHILD, I SHALL BE SEEKING HER OUT AND ASCERTAINING WHY SHE SAW FIT TO ABANDON HIM ON YOU DOOR STEP.
ALL I CAN SAY IN HER DEFENCE IS THAT IS WAS A SIMPLE COUNTRY GIRL AND OBVIOUSLY NOT ONE OF YOUR ISLANDS' BRIGHTEST STARS? LET US ALL BE THANKFUL THAT SHE HAD, AT LEAST , THE PRESENCE OF MIND TO DEPOSIT THE BABE ON YOUR DOOR STEP.
I AM MOST GRATEFUL THAT YOU HAVE TAKEN THE CHILD IN AND SUITABLE ATTIRED AND I ASSUME FED HIM. I AM EVEN MORE GRATEFUL THAT YOU HAVE SEEN FIT TO FORWARD HIM TO ME, YOU ARE VERY TRUSTING SOULS SENDING THIS PRECIOUS CARGO VIA THE MAIL SERVICE AND NOT USING A COURIER !!!
THE VLADDETTE IS DELIGHTED AT THE PROSPECT OF ANOTHER CHILD IN THE FAMILY AND EARTH MOTHER THAT SHE IS , IS AS WE SPEAK MAKING SURE THAT BABY VLAD (MY FIRST HEIR) IS AWARE OF THE SITUATION SO THAT THERE WILL BE NO VAMPIRE WARS WHEN THE TWO BOYS MEET.
I MUST AGAIN THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART ( SHAME THAT I DO NOT HAVE A HEART BUT YOU GET MY DRIFT).
KINDEST REGARDS VLAD THE IMMPOSSIBLE

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Well what can I say there is no denying it you can see at a glance ...even though it is obvious that there is peasant stock abundantly present in this child he is , unequivocally mine!! and I shall be taking full responsibility for him as second heir to my throne.
Annuska and Ivan have already been into see him and are totally charmed with their new grandvampire !
Tomorrow I shall be taking both boys to the Castle in Transylvania to meet the grandmother with the Invisible cape !! ....... I must away now as duty calls and try as I may I cannot turn a deaf ear...... The photo at the top of the blog ( on the left) is the new Royal portrait and the one below is a less formal family portrait!.....................................................................

Thanks Giving , thankful parents and blessed rest

2006-11-23T20:38:00.000Z

Good evening to one and all, again I have been here, there and everywhere!! Today to those of you who do not know was Thanks Giving. A time when our American friends celebrate the survival of the first year after their arrival on those none too hospitable shores! Luckily for them their first crop had not failed and had food and TURKEYS to eat (Madge if you are reading this , my dear , neurotic friend ...please note that I said TURKEYS)...... Not only were they lucky with their crops they had been blessed with friendly Native American Indians living near by who helped them through the harsh winter that was to descend upon them by showing them how to use animal furs for warmth and store food!!!
Well as I explained last night I had left Nycol and The Tzar in charge of the decorating and sorting out the Thanksgiving meal at my New York apartment and they performed miracles in the time that they had...when I and the rest of my entourage arrived everything was in readiness ...photo of one of the tables shown above!! The other photo is a few of the lads and I checking out the decs!!!
Well before you think that I have spent the whole day just having fun I can assure you that I have not..... the wallpapering of the hall stairs and landing have reached a crucial stage and I have had to supervise the human father very closely. The mother also needed organizing as she did not want to go to work and I had to bully her as she wanted just to stay in her pit!!
Well she got through the morning though how is beyond me.... she then met her friend for lunch ! nice easy life I wish mine were so.
Having organized the human parents and their friends I visited the Grandmother and put in a few more hours on her Castles' Decorations and then returned to check my email only to find Madge has been clucking on the edge and telling me all about it ( in horrendous detail!)
I am just about to have forty winks in my coffin before I take the baby Vlad out to practice his night flying. I will bid you all farewell for now>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

MISSING THREE DAYS???????????????

2006-11-22T21:03:00.000Z

Where have the last three days gone I have been so so busy that I have not had time to turn around....luckily being Immortal it does not matter if I do not have time to breathe ( and I am here to tell you that I have not!!!!) Well you may ask what have I been up too....... after the curtain episode the mother was very busy on Monday doing a spring clean of the house , I am not absolutely sure whether it was a spring clean for this year just past or or an early one for the spring that is just around the corner, waiting to sneak out as soon as Christmas has worn itself out???? Talking of Christmas The grandmother with the Invisible Cape as asked me to decorate the Castle in Transylvania ( with Christmas Decs....I have enough ordinary decorating on supervising the human father in his house revamping ( lovely word!!) Well there is no refusing the Grandmother so not only have I had to sort the Christmas decorations for my Winter palace I have to now produce something magnificent for the ancient
Matriarch!!I have been so busy that I have had to delegate the castles in Spain to my security company out there they are busy too as they keep an eye on the Aunt Franks small property out there, I have sent Nycol and the Tzar out to New York to oversee the adornment of my apartment, and Vladette has taken the baby Vlad out to our Caribbean island to personally decorate the Palm trees and grass huts!!....I tell you there is no peace for the undead!!
Yesterday was busy too I had to help the mothers friend at her office as usual and then accompany the mother ( aka the feeble minded assistant ) she was out to lunch with the Aunt Frank and the Aunt Fay I refer to them as the two Fs' THEY, DUE TO UNFORSEEN CIRCUMSTANCES WERE LATE AND SO I KEPT AN EYE ON THE MOTHER ....SHE TENDS TO BE A LITTLE SKITTISH IF LEFT TO HER OWN DEVICES!! All the time I still had to keep an eye on the father who is still plodding along with the decorating!
Today they dragged me from my coffin and sent me off to the Friends office ..all hell had been let loose and it took me a good hour or so to sort things out including a trip to the hospital via my helicopter!!And then as if that was not enough I had to accompany the human mother and father to buy a new mirror for their hallway!! Well I can tell you I was relieved when the mother went to work I could organise the father to get some top coating on the stairs and landing...whilst I read through 458 panic email that Madge has been sending me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Something will have to be done about that old bird she is getting worse!!!!!!!!!!!!! But now my dears I am off up north to visit my friend Nicholas who needs my advice on what to give naughty boys and girls of all ages!!!..... Tonight's photos are self-explanatory and if they are not well that is TOUGH!!

Pansies for Tinker ,Curtains and Cakes :)

2006-11-19T21:39:00.000Z

Talk about Human Behaviour, as I was yesterday to my friend Bjork, there is just no understanding it ..... NO they are a very strange lot, so unpredictable. Be honest now what would you rather an emotionally immature , totally unreliable human, deliriously happy one minute then clinically depressed the next .... agreeing with every word you say only to turn on a sixpence and tell you are so wrong ?????? Or a selfish, deranged megalomaniac mad, bad and dangerous to know...... but constant , you always know where you are with us immortal Vampires....in trouble!! Personally I know what I would prefer!
This weekend has been very busy... on the human front yesterday was spent rushing around and doing fiddly things. Mind you in the morning the human mother and I went off to the local nursery and bought some winter plants. We returned home and the mother ( under my supervision) did what she called her winter patio pots....why I asked her, no one uses the patio in the winter ...she smiled and said they would be nice to look at ................. sad one , nice to look at....... I ASK YOU HOW LAME IS THAT??? She had also bought some Pansies ( I feel sorry for the flowers having such a silly name) I asked , though I was dreading what the answer would be but she surprised me by having a very sensible answer ready! She had , she said , bought them to brighten up Tinkers Grave ( though we have planted a bush there ..the mother felt that until it had grown a little the grave needed some colour) and for once I think she is correct.
Today she and the Aunt Frank spent all afternoon unpicking seams on a pair of curtains I watched eagerly to see what they would do next........ I can't explain the feeling of utter incredulity that waved over me as I watched them proceed ( after unpicking this pair of curtains ) to sow them back up thus making then into one curtain!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!! They spent three hour on this pointless exercise!! The day was not entirely wasted in the morning the mother baked two cakes ...one banana and one a fruit cake ( my most, most favourite ) There is a photo of me tucking into it at the bottom of the blog....yum yum comfy tum!!! The Photo at the top of this blog is of me checking out those curtains ...and I am forced to admit that the workman ship is very good , very good indeed , I would go as far as to say if they wished to make me a new cape I would accept!!!!
Well my dears I must away as Madge has been pestering me again and so I have to go and visit her now and try and calm her down. I will fill you in on the outcome tomorrow. No rest for the wicked HA HA HA .....................................................................................

Tiredness Kills they say but what does it do if you are imortal ??

2006-11-17T21:42:00.000Z

Once again , today has been one long round of rushing here and there and sorting out problems large and small, I cannot begin to tell you how hard it is being an Immortal Vampire Bear with the calls on my time and patience that I have to bare!!!!! Take today as an example ( please, please take it I have no further need of it). After being up all night chasing after the Grandmother with the Invisible Cape's cat Tommikins who was out on the razzle looking for trouble, hassle and female company and not necessarily in that order? I return home hoping for some rest and fitful sleep and what am I greeted with? The human mother and the Aunt Frank scrabbling around with tape measures and chairs attempting to sort out curtains , requests from the mothers friend to go down to the office to sort out the new Boss .....and has she any decent snacks available.... has she hell, just that stinking celery and cream cheese ( incompetence, why am I surrounded by incompetence ).
Having sorted those pathetic females out I get an urgent communication from another ( that Madge , her of the loose legs, even looser morals and worst of all suicidal tendencies , totally pointless for one who is not mortal to start with!!!). As I have said before she has not much going for her, sad as it is to admit she is just getting worse. You will remember that she had mistakenly thought that she was being stalked by Raynaud , a fox acquaintance of mine. In truth it was the Aunt Frank who was the object of the stalk.Well to cut a long story short and to save myself repeating the sad and sorry tale it was nothing to do with Madge but she had worked her self up into an awful state and had tried, on several occasions to end her own life ( not possible Madge not possible!) What is the problem with her now ... you may well ask I am asking the question my self? It appears that she has got it into her head that she , gingham covered ,stick legged and pot bellied and old as the proverbial hills is on the Christmas Menu?? She has convinced herself that the honoured husband, ( of the Aunt frank ) is , at any moment going to shoot, pluck and hang her............................... sad isn't it :) You only need to look at the photo of her below too see how outrageous this latest horror of hers is!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SMALL BEARS,GHOSTLY CASTLES AND COSY COFFINS

2006-11-16T22:39:00.000Z

I do look peaceful resting here in my coffin ...... after the night and morning I had just had I think I darn well deserved it!!
Good grief where has today gone?? Rush, rush that all I ever seem to do! It all started with me arriving back late this morning from Ursa Minor to find that the feeble minded assistant was still mouldering in her pit!! Well being as it was Thursday she had to be up early for work.... So I had to get her up and running, and I mean quite literally running if she was not to be late for work. Luckily for all concerned I was successful and she did , indeed arrive on time and looking halfway decent!! I then dropped in on her friend ( she of the difficult job and excellent view of the trains !!! and lousy taste in snacks since she went all healthy on me!!!!!!!!) Well she was coping very well and so I decided to nip back to my coffin for a few hours kip.
How was my trip to Ursa Minor I hear you asking ....well my dears I can assure you that, entirely thanks to me, said planet has been saved from imminent destruction! There was a huge meteor shower headed straight for it and I, single PAWED, stopped it ( and it was no mean task and took all my superhuman strength to thwart the on coming missiles). There is a map of the of Ursa Minors' position in the sky (just under the photo of me cosy in my coffin). I made my heroic stand just to the left and up a tad from Polaris !!! made a stand and won.
That is why I was so exhausted and having sorted out the planetary and minor human travails I was glad to sink into the soft red, silk of the coverlet within my coffin. And there to have beautiful nightmares of my Grandmothers Castle in Transylvania ....... a photo of me flying up the battlements adorns the top of this blog.
I must away , unfortunately Tommikins is on the rampage again and I shall have to go and sort him out before too much damage has been caused. SO I SHALL BID YOU ALL GOOD NIGHT SWEET DREAMS.......
.......................................................... NOT :)

Turky Smirky , Awkward Clients,Revolting Peasants and Mongol Hoards

2006-11-14T20:57:00.000Z

Good evening once again I am here to greet you. I have been very busy once again Yesterday I was most involved helping the mothers friend ....she was busy at work and so needed my assistance but most importantly she was out to lunch with a friend and of course ( you know me I never miss a chance to eat out, especially if I am not footing the bill!) Well I got most of her work done for her and then nipped across the road and made an appointment for her with the Physio ( she is having trouble with her shoulder.....you humans are a frail lot!! After accompanying her and her friend to lunch and I might add footing the bill.... never let it be said I am not a gentleman! I popped in to see how the mother was coping with her job. I am sorry to report that she was snowed under with Turkey orders and weird customers with strange complaints and and awkward demands!! So I left her to .... well she was still smiling so I decided she could cope. Anyway I could not hang around too long as I had to get ready to take the Vladdette to the Kola Peninsular ..where we had booked some peasant baiting following which we were hosting a banquet in honour of some visiting hoards from Outer Mongolia!
As you can see I have enclosed a photo of a couple of the peasants ( revolting , as ever) and one of our view , the Vladdette and myself's) as we flew into the peninsular.
The One at the top of the blog is of the view from the banqueting hall!!!
The visitors and I had good sport and we all enjoyed our meal ..... 38 1/2 courses there were meant to be 39 but the chef had an accident.
I was rather worn out this morning but still managed to beat the mothers' friend to the office , she is becoming most tardy ( I am so proud of , she is learning all the best habits from me!!)....... The mother and father were also busy today buying soft furnishing, entertaining old friends ( well old by your standards!!) decorating , rowing and the mother has had her hair dyed the most fabulous shade of red ....it looks awful , horrendous and fowl........I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I must be off now I am too busy to standing around here chatting I am off now to Ursa Minor to sort out some minor planetary problems............... I will see you on my return BYE BYE>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

OUR TRIBUTE TO TINK...FROM VLAD AND THE GANG

2006-11-11T20:36:00.000Z

TINKER,TINKER,TINKER DEAR YOU'LL NEVER
KNOW HOW MUCH WE WISH YOU WERE HERE.
YOU RIPPED OUR CARPETS UP IN SHREDS
AND LEFT YOUR FUR ALL OVER THE BEDS!
YOU HATED IT WHEN THE BOYS CAME TO STAY
AND POOHED IN THE BATH YOUR FEELINGS TO DISPLAY.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

DEAF AS A POST BUT NOISY TOO
WHENEVER YOU ENTERED YOU CALLED OUT MEW MEW!
YOU NEVER LIKED OR TRUSTED YOUR TAIL
SO WHEN YOU GOT THAT CERTAIN LOOK
WE KNEW YOU'D HAVE A HISSY FIT AND THAT NAUGHTY
TAIL WOULD BE BROUGHT TO BROOK!!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

TINKER, TINKER, TINKER DEAR YOU DID NOT STAY
WITH US TOO LONG BUT WHILE YOU DID YOU HURT
NO ONE.
YOU BOUGHT US LOVE AND MADE US SMILE .........
WE ARE TRULY GLAD WE HAD YOU FOR THIS WHILE.
WE LOVE YOU AND WE MISS YOU TINKER, TINKER
TINKER DEAR

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The Sad Passing of a Dear friend

2006-11-11T19:37:00.000Z

You may have noticed my absence for the last two nights. Well there is a very sad and simple reason for this. My dear and close friend Tinker passed away in the early hours of Thursday morning. I am not sure what the cause of her demise was but it seems likely it was either a heart attack or a stroke! It was, indeed a great shock ( even to me, cursed as I am with fore knowledge of most events) she had been well and happy all evening sitting on the human fathers lap . There is not much I can say she could not breath at about midnight and was collapsed by the door of her favourite room. ...She loved the computer room where the feeble minded assistant and I write our books and do our blogging.....she had a running battle with the human mother about who was going to sit in the computer chair ....it was always Tinkers chair more than it ever was the mothers!! As I was saying she was by the door looking awful and then some how with an immense effort that she found from who knows where she managed to cross the room and leapt up on to her chair. That my friends is where she died............................ She fell off her chair.... a good friend of ours said that is how she would like to go , no pain , no pills just fall off the computer chair.
Tinker is now Buried in the back Garden. The father has made a new flower bed and he and the mother went out and bought a lovely red bush to plant above her grave, it is their way of commemorating her life. I of course have no need to commemorate her at all as I will still be seeing her when ever I choose ( being an immortal I can go across and see her at any time I wish) The mother and father are very sad at loss of their beloved Tinker but I and all my friends, family and servants are doing our best to keep their spirits up. Tinker was very loved and they made her very happy . I KNOW THIS IS TRUE BECAUSE SHE TOLD ME SO.................. I will leave you now with a photo of Tinker on her' Computer Chair ' and one of the bush planted in her honour.

Wines and Dines ... Fireplaces and Water Closets

2006-11-08T21:31:00.000Z

THE STRANGEST THING HAPPENED LAST NIGHT....THE TZAR REFUSED TO COME OUT WITH NIGEL AND MYSELF....EVEN THOUGH HE NEW WE WERE OFF FOR A FEW BEVERAGES HE SAID HE COULD NOT COME OUT UNTIL HE HAD HAD A BATH...................!!
I can confirm that Nigel and I were so shocked that we delayed our departure for at least 5mins whilst we tried to convince him to accompany us!!!! all to no avail I fear. And so with heavy hearts (NOT) we left him sitting at home with the mother and father watching TV...saddo!! Well even though he did not join us I can confirm that Nigel and myself had a very interesting evening... We had so much to drink that I am afraid to admit I fell asleep in the fireplace in one of the cellars and only awoke just before I was engulfed in flames!!( PHOTO of me asleep posted on this blog)
The funniest thing is that on our return we were most surprised to find that the Tzar had not had his bath...the feeble minded assistant had not got around to it... her incompetence knows no bounds!! Though to be fair ( and never let it be said that I am not fair ) she is very busy at her work and seems very tired of late!!...WEAK PATHETIC HUMAN THAT SHE IS!!.......... As usual I have been rushing around all day sorting out the human mothers friends and relatives ...helping here and there ..finishing off tiles and cleaning off wallpapering tables!! The Superior Water Closet is nearing completion..and I do believe that if I pull my socks up ( metaphorically speaking, because as you know I am too cool to wear socks) I could get the Superior Water Closet wallpapered and finished by lunchtime tomorrow!
Hopefully the mother will get round to washing the Tzar and Nigel tomorrow ....after the excesses of last night I can tell you Nigel really needs a bath too!!
I must be off again unfortunately the chap who looks after the Aurora Borealis for me has slipped back into his old ways....Drinking again!! So as always it falls to me to go and sort things out. The second Photo on the blog is of Nigel and I enjoying some Chinese wine!!.......................... So once again Farewell and Goodnight.......................

Foggy Morning...Bewildered Dawnings

2006-11-07T18:35:00.000Z

After a foggy start to the day ( which matched my befuddled mood and head) I was pleased to see the sun , not I am usually pleased to see sun of any kind! but this was at least the weak winter variety. The mothers friend was not at work today and so I could take my time and rise at my ease as there was no rush to get to the office! Luckily, also it being Tuesday the weak minded assistant did not have to go to work either so I breakfasted leisurely with the family at friends...whom I had to visit due to the fact they are still staying at the house of the lovely Lisa. On my return I found the mother rooting about in the garage and the father still fighting with the tiled drop down he has made for the Superior Water Closet....... He has been fighting a loosing battle for days now but is refusing to give in ...it will not beat him ( I have heard him attest to this several times and most forcibly I might add!!!) so he has battled on even when it has looked as if it might be the death of him!! I have of course offered my superior advice but as usual he has chosen to ignore me .....this is something I have noticed about human males you cannot tell them anything or offer any advice but it taken as either an insult or criticism......?
Well he took the mother out to lunch and so whilst they were out I sorted the problem for him ..being a very wise and old Vampire I was clever enough to let him think he had solved the problem. The mother then cooked a fruit cake to say WELL DONE to the father for fixing the problem, I had suggested that she do this subliminally as I am rather partial to her fruit cake and so far this evening I have been given two huge chunks!!
If you remember last night I was called away to see the Grandmother who is visiting old, old friends in Salem USA. I spent a pleasant evening with them cooking some abominable STEW IN A HUGE BLACK CAULDRON I spent most of the time searching for ingredients such as eye of newt , leg of frog have you any idea how hard it it is to find eye of newt these days.....well I am telling you now it nigh on impossible!! The worst was those old cronies of the Grandmother kept asking were my wings were ....thankfully I do not have any!!!Anyway after we had eaten we spent a pleasant evening and night terrorising the whole state!!
When I was leaving the Grandmother asked me to go and check how the grapes in the summer garden at the Castle in Transylvania were progressing ( that is one of the four season gardens at the Castle) ....She was looking forward to the first bottle of the year of our lovely red. Always the dutiful grandson I made it my business to return via the castle and look in on things ....I am glad to report that I found that the harvesting of the grapes was finished and the trampling (of said grapes ) had already begun. I , ever helpful joined in with the rest of the employees and have enclosed a photo of me Trampling the Crop!!The other photos are of Nigel ( AKA Nycol) who has borrowed my crown finishing off the Superior Water Closet for the father!
I must again be off as the Tzar and Nigel are accompanying me to the official wine tasting so it is up up and away to Transylvania ........................................

Drinks, Pranks and High Jinks ####

2006-11-06T21:35:00.000Z

Good evening , thought to be perfectly honest I do not feel very perfect after last nights celebrations I must admit to feeling rather delicate and wan! I think a tepid glass of the red stuff is called for I shall have to despatch the weak minded assistant to get me some. Well my old friend Guy was in great spirits last night and we had a really good time ...we met at the usual place in the basement of the Palace of Westminster from whence , after a short detour , via Downing Street we arrived at the Tower. ( We stopped off to visit Tony ...he did not see us this time as Guy by nature of being a long time spirit and myself by virtue of my cape of invisibility were not at all visible .....after we had had a little fun , moving things and slamming doors we made a discrete exit ...knocking off the Policeman's ( stood guard at the front door) helmet off ....he thought it was a gust of wind...It was my paw as I rushed by him :) We had to laugh as he spun round to see who was behind him and how he shivered when there was no one there!
We then met up with Guys old accomplishes at the Tower and we then after several hands of cards we spent the rest of the evening in and out of the local hostelries enjoying helping ourselves to all the unwitting drinkers beverages...their faces when they raised a strangely empty glass!
I tell you it was too easy like taking sweets from a baby ...as the saying goes!
Today has been busy again and so I have as yet had no rest. I have had to check on the mother's friends and relations to make sure they are all coping ...some with work , some with moving and some just with living...OH! you humans are so weak and feeble you seem to bring out a caring side I never realized that I had///DO NOT MENTION THIS TO THE GRANDMOTHER .......SHE WILL NOT LET ME LIVE IT DOWN! I have also been very busy assisting the human father who , though almost finished his superior cloakroom seems to have hit , what you call a brick wall, and is having trouble getting some tiles to hackle with a wooden drop down he has made.....
The Answer is simple but until he asks me nicely I will not be telling him !!!!! I am watching eagerly his progress???
Again I must bid you a goodnight I have to visit the Grandmother with the Invisible cape she is staying at our house in Salem ( near Boston USA) she is visiting a few of her old cronies and likes me to drop in so she can show her grandson off....FAMILIES!!!!!
The Photo below is Carole she is the Winter Fairy we are practising our Irish dancing ....I am a Universal champion and hundreds of gold medals!!!

Visitations , Crowns and Old Muckers

2006-11-05T18:33:00.000Z

Good evening friends do you like my new crown? I believe that it is rather splendid. I was given it by your gracious Monarch after I had smoothed over some mischief her junior relatives had been creating!!
How are you all today . The weather has been extremely good here and the human mother has got lots of washing done and dried, she has also cooked, what you call a ROAST DINNER ( I can not see the attraction myself all that roasting of good meat I much prefer it raw and fresh).They , the humans had the Grandmother without the invisible cape round for the day ...( she is not be be confused with my Grandmother ...with the Invisible Cape...NO NO that would be fatal!!!) Well I do believe that all went well and at least it gave the human father a break from the tiling!!!
Tonight I am off to visit my old mucker Guy (Fawkes) and his band of helpers , we always meet up on the 5th Nov and have a few drinks and a couple of hands of poker! Unfortunately for Guy he is no luckier at cards than he was at Blowing up Parliament therefore luckily for me it is usually a very profitable and entertaining evening!!! We all meet up in the basement of the Palace of Westminster from whence we sally forth and skim along the Thames to the Tower where we take up residence in his old cell ( fond memories.......NOT!!)
After we have drunk enough and lost all our money we all fly over London and the surrounding area and watch all the pyrotechnic tributes ...much appreciated by Guy ..I must admit.
Last night the human mother went to a Halloween party and though not in anyway on the same scale as my affair it was, by human standards very spectacular...from the well presented ghostly gardens to the wonderfully decorated house all the humans dressed in costume and all made magnificent efforts even the food was hot spicy and very devilish!! So I shall award them an AAstar for effort!!
Well I must away as I have to be at the Houses of Parliament in ten minutes and Guy hates to hang around in there!!
Farewell...........................................................................................................................

Tiling Miles, and Party Smiles Moving Blues and Red Red Shoes

2006-11-03T21:07:00.000Z

Peasants appeased and Annuska happier I am back tonight with more tales of the party!! Firstly though I will fill you in on my day. It all started normally enough the , human, mother brought us all porridge in bed I then arose and did my ablutions and then I went early to the mothers friend's office!! Having made sure she was organised and happy I whizzed down to south to officiate over the house removal of the Mothers sister the Aunt ( another one!!)......... A mammoth task that has kept me busy for these past few months...any way I have them , now safely installed in their new home up North!!
Having accomplished that I had to return home Via the mother's friend's office to ensure she was still OK and share her Hoola Hoops and grout all the tiles for the father and then to have a little light relief I flew over to the Isle of White to visit my friend the Empress Valentina....whilst I was there I decided to have some fun with her pet humans and swapped their tablets round .....and am now , even as we speak awaiting the outcome of my clever man0uvers.
I think you have been patient enough....as I was saying last night the guests started to arrive at two minutes to twelve and we were all ready for them...food laid out, the musicians rescued from the Moscow traffic jam were ensconced in the Ice Ballroom and very soon the Palace was buzzing ( that ugly rumour that Ivan had accidentally tripped and knocked out an electrical cable onto the ice floor and sent billions of watts sparking through the unsuspecting guests is grossly exaggerated.......................... well OK ...but it was an accident)
Yes guest of all kinds past, present and future arrived and mingled. The undead , the nearly dead, the the young, the ancient Zombies, Vampires and humans and many many others too numerous to mention all partied together and a rave was had by all!! All tastes were catered for both at the table and in all other ways.....????
At one o'clock the buffet was officially opened by the Grandmother ( in the traditional style of her throwing Tommikins on to the banqueting table and shouting .."Grubs up ...tuck in before the Cat eats it all!!)...Then there was dancing and entertainment which went on till 3.30am when we all retired to the Winter garden to wittiness the Firework Spectacular that had been put on by Nigel and The Tzar!! This was so wonderful that I have posted four photos of the display on this blog!! Then it was back to the Ice Ballroom and dancing and drinking until 6.30am. Unfortunately everything has to come to stop at that time as some of the older undead have not come to terms to living in daylight yet!!.................... Believe it or not the Grandmother with the Invisible Cape is among that number ( which is why she is mostly seen at night!!)
It took until 7.45am to clear all the carriages, cars , flying slays and chariots ..not to mention helicopters, Lear jets and winged horses from the car park at the rear of the Palace!!!!!!
I must away now and check that all the clearing up has been finished and all the surrounding area has been tidied. I will Bid you all good night and sleep well....... to wake if you must to another day............................................................................

Party Guest ..and Musical Rescues!

2006-11-02T21:00:00.000Z

I know the question that is burning a hole in your brains.....How did the Party go!! Well for those of you who did not attend I shall fill you in on the gossip. The First arrivals at two seconds to midnight were the three sisters Evil .. photos bottom right.... Vampires most lovely and three nicer girls you would be hard put to find ( they are very fond of small children and babies :{ ) Closely followed by the good fairy of the north ..pictured bottom centre... ( bit of a wimp but I had said all were welcome.
As you can see from the photos Annuska had done a wonderful job on the exterior of the Winter palace as well as working wonders inside!! Talking of my mother , Annuska, she and my father Ivan ....pictured top left.....were standing outside ready to welcome our guests both looking wonderful I must admit.....The Grandmother was there as well in one of her more human guises ...... top right.....though as usual she was no where near as welcoming!!!!
We also had some some human guest brave enough ( or should I say fool hardy enough to turn up! )......Pictured top centre....... To give them their due they were really game and and entered well into the spirit of things ...though they did did not start off too well when they greeted the Grandmother by saying what a Kool outfit she was wearing then the compounded things by flattering her on the lightening effects that her cane appeared to making !!!!!! In fact the more enraged she got the more they applauded her and in the end I had to whisk them off to the buffet before any harm befell them!! As I had said all were welcome and so all had to be protected??
The caters had arrived on time at 9pm which was a blessing ( we had used them before and so could leave them to set up ) because Ivan had had a message from the musicians he had hired for the evening saying that they were trapped in a traffic jam just south of Moscow and could we assist them or they would be terribly late. There was nothing for it but to drop everything and set off to rescue them and leave Vladddette and Annuska to take delivery of the napkins and pumpkins , graciously provided by the Aunt Frank , in lieu of services rendered by myself and my security boys!
The band rescued and the Grandmother with the Invisible Cape , once again happy ( she does so love to listen to dirges and and Wagner) . I would say we were all set to Party bang on the dot of three seconds to witching hour ..Halloween 06............
Well my lovelies I have to away and do some sorting out.....apparently there was a deficit among the local sheep population around the Winter Palace yesterday morning and those awful peasants are demanding an explanation from ME!! .......................... I ask you is right I ( Vlad the Magnificent ) should be answerable to them:{ I do not think so but as things are Annuska , my mother has asked me to go and talk to them but not to make a meal of them ....ERRRRRRR I meant a meal of it:)

Pumpkin Faces and Serviettes ..Many Fangs!

2006-10-30T22:51:00.000Z

Aha!! you thought I had gone but I just had to return and say a big thank you to The Aunt frank who is so grateful for the help that I have afforded her over the last few months that she , her honoured Husband and Madge the Chicken ( her of the loose morals and even looser legs) to show their gratitude has sent some most welcome supplies to the party ...Pumpkins and serviettes ...( two important components that the feeble minded assistant has overlooked ) I really must be off now.................................. so much to be done so little time!!!!!!!!

Flying Pigs and Pink Elephants...HICK########

2006-10-30T21:55:00.000Z

Pigs flying over the Sahara and I am riding them! Things here are most hectic .... I am so rushed off of my feet that I do not know what is happening one moment to the next. The feeble minded assistant has been hitting the Ginger Wine bottle this evening ( hard) and I am getting no sense out of her at all...useless worse than useless. Her excuse?? a hard day at work and a grumbling old wrinkly that verbally attack her....... I ask you, until she is attacked (verbally or physically ) by the Grandmother with the Invisible Cape she has nothing at all to complain about!!! Plans for tomorrows Party are all beginning to fall into place . All the Invites have been dispatched, the caterers are arriving tomorrow evening at 9.30pm the music has been organised by Ivan , under the supervision of Annuska ( so lets hope there is not too much Pink Floyd we need an eclectic mix to please everyone!) Vladdette has done a grand job organizing costumes for all the guests that could not provide their own, and mother ( Annuska ) has done marvels with the decore!! So as the hours tick away and the excitement grows I alone must keep my head and not panic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On human matters it was a very busy weekend two of the human mothers sons visited ....one was off to a birthday celebration and had managed to leave his smart cloths behind at his flat....the feeble minded assistant managed to cobble an out fit together for him we shall not look to closely into how or even why....but I will say he did look smart :) The other male offspring breezed in and out and was gone in a matter of hours. It never fails to amaze me how glad the feeble minded assistant is to see these boys of hers?????????????? beats me! On the Sunday the human mother and father were out all day at a family reunion ......the brother was celebrating his 60th birthday ( I did not start celebrating birthdays untill I was 10100 yrs old!) Well the whole family really had a good time and enjoyed each others company ....I was rather bored as there were no bloody fights or vicious verbal attacks that make my family reunions so entertaining and fun. sad these little humans but I have to humour them!
Tomorrow is also a big day for the feeble minded assistant and her friends and sisters ( they are even allowing the human father to accompany them) ....where and what are they up to you ask........ they are visiting the Tower of London. As special treat I have arranged for my friend Odin ( you remember the Raven ) to take them on a tour of the tower! I am sure we will hear more about that tomorrow!!
I am afraid I can spare you no more time this evening I have to organise the Fireworks and meet a troop of juggling witches who are part of the entertainment tomorrow night.
The photos are a sample of the banquet and two of me riding a flying pig...why am I riding a pig ............................. BECAUSE I CAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Great Invitations!!!

2006-10-27T23:18:00.000+01:00

Greetings To All Who Read This !!
You Are All Cordially Invited ,
Be You Ghost, Goul, Fiend,Spector,Witch
Phantom,Demon, Sprite, Elf, Fairy, Wizard
Even Dwarf, Zombie, Vampire And Anthing Forgotten.
Humans Brave Enough To venture Forth Welcome
( As Are Arch Vilaines and Poiseners & Mass Murders
And Invading and Marauding Hoards! )
To Partake Of The Celebrations of the Halloween Party.
To Be Held At The Winter Palace . Kola Peninsular.
Tuesday 31st October : Time Three Seconds To The Witching
Hour!! Dress : All To Arrive In Costume.

RSVP Vlad : The Castle Transylvania
OR Just Turn Up All Are Welcome

There is a vast car park and room for horses and carridges
at the rear of the castle. Feel free to bring a bottle of Blood
or Red Wine............

Darkly Dank with Beauty

2006-10-26T22:21:00.000+01:00

I know that I have said this before but my mother Annuska is working marvels at the Winter Palace and the decorations are looking wonderful such gloriously funieral colours truely chill the heart and send the spirits spiralling down to the depths of dispair ( which is exactly where they should be!! ) I have enclosed a photo of the Orangery and the Minstrals Gallery. Well done mother I salute you!!!
The catering has all been taken care of, I have seen to that, and I have made sure that the caterers have been paid up front, as I know from past experience they can cut up very nasty as the Borgers (close family friends) found to their detriment , they were actually poisoned and poor Lucrecia was blamed for the whole sorry mess..most unfair but I digress!
As I was saying I have all that sorted and am still keeping a tight reign on the purse strings!! My Darling Wife Vladdette has also been stretched sorting out costumes for all insundry searching far and near in this Galaxy and the neighbouring one for enough ideas to please everyone!! To you, my dear I also raise my cape and salute you too! I ask myself who is going to salute me.......anyone? As usual no praise for me is forth coming. I see there is no point in labouring the point as, asusual I being taken for granted!
On other fronts I too have been busy ..... again today I had to go up to the hospital and work on the case of the human mothers friends' husband ..... ..the poor medics are still floundering around but I have the case well sussed and will be imparting my knowledge to them tomorrow....Well I have to say it ' that is just the type of vampire that I am'.
The human father is working well, again under my supervision and I am quite pleased with the progress in the cloakroom. The floor layer was back and and I had to over see his efforts...the least said about him the better......I waited until he left and then perfected the floor myself before the humans had time to see what he had done...It is at times like that , that my Cape of Invisibility comes into its' own. Well the floor is now up to my high standards so lets hope that is an end to that chapter!!
Well my friends I am afraid I will to leave you now . I know you want me to stay but unfortunately the feable minded assistant is complaining of back ache and I supose I best not over work her as I need her to do lots of little simple , human things for me over the next few days. So it had best be ....... softly , softly catchy monkey...................
I am off now to check on the Aurora Borealis...yet again ....I KNOW...I KNOW ..I have the patience of a fiend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Coffer Hopper............ Smiler Tiler

2006-10-25T20:40:00.000+01:00

After the lastest debarkelle caused by an errant member of my staff ( Scary Cat the treasurer) I have decided that busy as I am I will have to take on his duties too. As hard as it to admit failiure I will just have to conceed that putting a hopeless lush ( no lets be straight and to the point here ....a HOPELESS DRUNK) incharge of the mighty family coffers was a bad mistake. As the Grandmother's cat Tommikins said in passing yesterday Scary Cat is great for a laugh and a night out but responsibily and and him do not exsist in the same galaxy!! Well it is not often that I agree with that pratt ( did I say pratt sorry I meant cat!!) no but in this instance he has hit the nail right on the head!!
Annuska is nearly finished with the decorations and is as we speak , as it were figuratively speaking dotting all the iiis and crossing all the ttts. I so grateful that she has my father Ivan under her wing and with her at all times, at the moment , after all the trouble he had got himself involved in the other week!!
For the most part of today I have been busy tiling ...the human father needs a great deal of support and help in that department so being the kind of Imortal Vampire Bear that I am....I step in and help!!!!
I have enclosed a couple of photos of my amazing tiling skills and one of me checking out one of the family coffers I must be off many things to sort.........................................

Party Plans and Doctors' Hands

2006-10-24T21:26:00.000+01:00

Preparations for the party on Tuesday next are well in hand and everyone has been working hard except for the odd few who have been found wanting and asleep on the job!! Our treasurer Scary Cat being the most notable ...Lazy git!! I have decided to name and shame and not only name him but show the evidence of this tardiness to all who view this page!!!! Look at the state of him I ask you what a wreck, he is very partial to the falling down water.
Not everyone has been slacking on the job I ( for one) have been to the outer rings of Saturn to visit the caterers for the party and agreed on the menu ala cauldron and have put put a magnificent view of of me in my cloak of invisibility , flying through the afore mentioned rings. Also my mother Annuska has been very busy redecorating the Ice Ballroom at the Winter Palace in readiness for the the big Halloween bash!!! Ivan has been busy helping her and that is how she has been keeping him out of trouble , out of Tommikins way and under her wings!!! I have enclosed a photo of another of her efforts ( in the decore department ) at the Winter Palace at the bottom of this Blog.
Apart from organising the party I have had to don my DRs cloak and and carry out surgical duties at the Hospital ....... The humans mothers' friends' husband is unwell and under their care.I have been so busy and checking out all the scans and tests for him and this has made me very tired. But one has to help out it the least I can do as my knowledge is so far superior to any at that said hospital... bless them they are always requesting my advice and it would be very churlish of me to refuse!
The mother ( the human one) was very busy at work today and seems very tired tonight ...so I suppose I should not keep her up here typing for too long ...as usual I am surrounded by ineptitude!!!
The Vladdette has also been very busy not only keeping the human mothers' friend company , whilst I am at the Hospital attending to her husband ( the friend not the Vladdette that is I am the Vladdettes husband KEEP UP!!!)
but also sorting out the fancy dress for everyone attending the party...no mean feat I can tell you!!....Well friends I must away lots to do people and places to go so I will bid you goodnight and speak with you again soon.....................................................

Vampire Practice .. Buying Rugs for Cat's Beds

2006-10-22T19:13:00.000+01:00

Last night I recieved a summonds from the Grandmother with the Invisible Cape. She has got into her head that I am not behaving Vampire like enough!!! I now have to practice hanging upside down for at least an hour each day , snarl at least 1000 times a day exposing my magnificent fangs and levitate above my coffin for 30 seconds each hour after 17.00 hrs till 23.oo hrs. I ask you as if I do not have enough to do. Not only do I have family ( inhuman and human families that is) but I have surfs and servants Castles , Palaces , Chateaux, and appartment blocks ( the lastest of which I recently purchased on my visit to Portugal last month) to attend too. I have a halloween party to organise .!! Unfortunately there is no argueing with the Grandmother, the original ' She who must be obeyed' You do as you are told or you live , or in your human cases you would die with the cosequences! The Grandmother takes no prisoners , and suffers no fools!!
As I well know there is nothing to be done about so I shall just have to soldier on ! Last night after I left the grandmothers presence I was so agitated that that I started a rain dance and I have to admit though it did improve my mood I did rather get carried away and so I will apologise for all the rain that you have had to contend with today!! I have again been most busy what with doing all the housework for the feeble minded assistant and then going out and helping her and the human father pick a new rug for their lounge.Very nice it is too ...their cat ( my friend Tinker ) likes it too infact Tinker likes it so much she would like to paw it up and make a bed of it!!!! I can see there being a conflict of opinion there ..I shall take great interest in the out come and keep you all inform as to who is winning, the two daft humans or the clever feline??
I have been intouch, this afternoon, with mother, Annuska to ask her if she can get intouch with the caterers we used for the Millenium party as the food went down a storm, and I have all my team working on the invitations and decorations............. ..Vladdette is organizing all the games. I have every confidence that all will go smoothly this time , even with the heavy training timetable that I have been set.
The main thing is to keep Ivan busy and out of trouble hopefully mother will help me there , and also most important is to make sure that that pest Tommikins causes no trouble and does not implicate Ivan in any unsavoury incidents!!!
I have to pop up north now to check that our friend , in charge of the Aurora Borealis is still sober and working to my high expectations!! So I will leave you now. I have enclosed a portrait of the Grandmother with the Invisble Cape ..in one of her many many forms ( not her usual tiny batty , black pointy booted self) Personally I think she is showing off here! Whats' that Grandmother ...errrr no I was saying the portrait does not quite show you off at your best....Yes Grandma I am off up north now!
The other photo is of me practising hanging upside down...................... Yes I am off Now............................................................................................

Thanks.What thanks...Party what Party!!!!

2006-10-21T19:53:00.000+01:00

Have you ever questioned why you are are here and what you are doing..... Well evey so often ( about once or twice in a millennia I do!) Today was one of those times. I have spent the last few weeks encouraging the father ( human one ) in his decorating exploits and do I get any thanks........... NO! I spend time sorting out problems for others ..The Ravens at the Tower, various ghosts, Madge and her cohort The Aunt Frank, the Empress Valentina and the human mothers friend to mention but a few!!!! I do rain dances and you complain, the noise and light shows I provide you refere to as dreadful Thunder and Lightening>...... When I stop rain dancing you complain of drought?? I do try but I am only Imortal and my patience is not to be over stretched. I have said enough you have been told and I will say no more on the subject...but please feel free to leave a coment on my blog, especially if you are ( like myself) feeling used and abused. I would like to help if I can even if no one appreciates me!
Vladdette, the baby and most of my friends and servants are still away vacationing at the house of the lovely Lisa.I only hear from them when they need my services at the moment!!! This means that ,as usual , all the preparations for the 31st ( Halloween) have ,yet again , fallen into my lap. OH! of course I have the help fof Nycol and the Tzar ...unfortunately for me they have fallen out about the size of their crowns? I will explain about this in detail in tomorrows blog ( I am rather short of time tonight).
My real father ( Ivan ) is as usual ready to help and is ..but as you know he can be more of a hinderence than a help most of the time, he does , however mean well and this makes me loath to rebuff his offers of help. Annuska ( my real mother) is helping as well and she is extreemely compident I showed a photo of her newly designed Ice Ballroom at the Winter Palace which is where , once again the celebrations will be held.The main thing I need to do at the moment is to keep the Grandmother happy as she is threatening to do Ivan great harm. She believes ( mistakenly as it happens) that the trouble caused by her beloved cat Tommikins ( the incident involving those to heirs to the throne) is all down to my poor father!!
It is very difficult to arrange a huge Halloween party for millions of guests , from past present and future , from galaxys near and far with a nagging Grandmother nipping at your heels.
I shall be inviting the feeble minded assistant to join us at this party ...she can come as a witch there will no need for too much make up there!!
AHA! what is this ...what bat on yonder window sill brakes................. SUPRISE SUPRISE it is another summonds from the Grandmother I shall have to leave you all now!! I shall be back soon
Any comments or suggestions will be gratefully accepted.I must dash..........................

Decorations ------------------- Preparations

2006-10-19T20:35:00.000+01:00

I am most glad to report that today has been been much quieter and more serene than yesterday was! Having rescued father from the evil clutches of the Grandmother with the Invisible Cape and her horrific pet spiders. I wisked him off and up into outer space where we intersepted mother. She was, as always extatic to see Ivan and myself . We all popped over to the Winter Palace on our way home to check out the new decorations in the Ice Ballroom( the very one in which we held the Millenium Party earlier this year). I was most impressed as I had not seen it completed .Mother as ususal , has wonderful taste and it looks absolutely splendid!! I have included a photo of it here at the bottom of this Blog entry.
If you remember last night when I left you I was off for some R&R with Nycol and the Tzar..I am not saying too much but a good evening was had by all and consequentially I had to sleep in a while this morning and did not get down to see the human(AKA the feeble minded assistant) mother's friend untill after the baggette lady had been and gone, but she , the friend, had saved me some hoola hoops!!!! Yippee not rubbishy , healthy snacks:)
Apparently it was the friends' Birthday ( this is a quaint custom that you humans celebrate every year luckily for me , I have had so many that it would be usless to count them anymore as your brains do know a number big enough to discribe how old I am). Anyway the mother met her friend at lunchtime and they celebrated with coffee and chocolate cake.....mind you they would not let me have any so I had to resort to my Cape of Invisibility and pinch some!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have also had to supervise the human father who is painting the wookwork in the hall and what has been termed as the superior water closet ( by our friends on the IOW) As usual I have had to fetch and carry , repair mistakes clean up spillages and paint in the fiddly bits....and let him ( poor soul ) take all the credit for the hard work!!!! My dear friends I have once again to take my leave as there is much preparation to be made if all is to be ready for the 31st............. YES HALLOWEEN never mind about FREDDIE.....you just watch out for me and my friends ...... we shall be out and about!! I have put a photo at the top of the Blog of myself with Nycol, the Tzar , Bear Bear, Felix and Laurance as we start our preparations for the big night!!
Sleep well!!!.................................................................................................................
As promised Photo of Ice Ballroom............

Tommikins+ Ivan = Big Trouble

2006-10-18T20:35:00.000+01:00

Good evening my friends what sort of day have you had? I have been very busy once again . My real mother Annuska has asked me to keep an eye on my real father, ( Ivan) who we all love dearly , but unfortunately we cannot trust. Now let there be no misunderstanding he is as honest and trust worthy as the day is long. NO , that is not the problem, the trouble is he is too caring, too kind too helpful too niave for his or anyone elses good for that matter!! I have , in earlier blogs told you of the terrible scraps he gets into, often lead astray by the imfamous cat Tommikins ( he beloved by the Grandmother with the Invisible Cape). I have also told how he adores the Grandmother and can never see any wrong in the awful things she does to him!! The trouble is she hates him with a vengence , she hates him even more than he loves her....if that is at all possible!!
Well Annuska spoke to me this morning and asked me if I would help Ivan as she had to go to visit one of dieing stars out on the extreeme edge of your little universe! . He had got himself tied up in knots ...quite literally as it turned out.
Tommikins had been out clubbing again with those young regal personages that I have alluded to before, yet again they had only bearly escaped causing a diplomatic incident. Well to give him credit Ivan had gone in and sorted all things out and for once , with no outside help from me. He returned the two young men to where they should be and extracated the Tommikins from the clutches of jail!! All this he had acomplished , with the minimum of fuss only to find on his return to the Castle in Transylvainia that he was once again the butt of the Grandmothers wrath. Her precious Tommikins was looking tired and unkempt , to her!! ( Hardly suprising as he had been out on the lash with the regal lads for the last three days...not to mention nights).
Well unfortunately the Grandmother will hear no wrong of her precious Tommikins and so without even listening to Ivans' explanation of how he actually saved the cat from a long jail sentence she had had him thrown into a dungeon ( infact I am pretty sure it is the dungeon next to the one in which Millaine The Villaine is languishing!!) and then she let her pet , giant spiders, practice their webb making on him!!
By the time I had flown into the Castle and spoken with Grandmother and pleaded with her to tell me the exact where abouts of my father , and then been and found him he was trusssed up like an egyptian mummy and the spiders were discussing as to where best to hang him up with a view to feeding on him later. ..... I can tell you it took all of my diplomatic skills to arrange his safe release!!!! That darn Tommikins was all this time ( whilst I was arranging the extracation of his so called mate and of late rescuer.) was sat on the Grandmother with the Invisible capes lap smiling!!!!
At last fathers release secured, with help of some of the servants I unraveled him and what was the first thing he said after he had thanked me for his efforts???? " How is the wonderful mother-in-law? Vlad, my son she is such a wag pretending to feed me to her spiders!" ................ the mind boggles dad it boggles , I thought to myself and mother will not be best pleased with the Grandmother!!
Still all was well that ended well and I sugested that Ivan and I leave the Castle imediately and go and meet mother who would be on her way back from the ends of the universe. My father as always wanted to speak to the Grandmother first to thank her for her hospitality ....I lost my patience at that point and dragged him off!!
Tonights photos are one of me with my mother Annuska ( she is appearing in her nearest form to human , she can change her appearence at will) you will see that in the photo she is melded with me . In the other photo she and my father are again in near human form and melded together. This is no trick of the camera when we are together we always meld in photos ...something to do with being Imortals and too beautiful for you to understand!!
I am off now to have some R&R with Nycol and the Tzar ..after today I think I need it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mother Nature ...Give her a hand !!

2006-10-16T23:01:00.000+01:00

Have you ever wondered why the weather is so un -Autumn like at the moment , are you questioning the pleasant sun shine , the terrific wind, voilent and beautiful thunderstorms , cool mornings hot afternoons and evenings?? or are you just acepting it and blocking out what it might portend. Well I for one have ......not only am I questioning it I have been to see Mother Nature and asked her exactly what she is up to. I have mentioned before that she is quite a cantancerous lady at the best of times. Though in all the millions of years that I have had the honour to hold her aquaintence , I must say she has never been this odd?
I do not supose you have ever met her, though she is onipresent ( not unlike me , also like me she is an imortal) She is always here in full view but you humans never see her as you do not look any further than the ends of your noses. Never opening your eyes to what there is to see in the trees and the flowers , or sea , rivers or skies you do not see her........... but she sees you.
I can tell you now , from what she said to me earlier today she is not best pleased with you all?!!! No as far as she is concerned not only are you short sighted you are squandering her precious resources. Upsetting her seasons and she is not happy, all her flowers, trees and animals are confused she is loosing weight worrying about the hole in her ozone ( the ozone was her crowning glory and now it is so depleated she can hardly see it when she holds her hand mirror up! and that saddens her).
I have for my part done as much as I can to help I have had all my castles and properties fully insulated ( admittedly mostly for sound) and I am very careful not to use carbon fuel , gas or electric if I can help it!!! I travel everywhere under my own steam and encourage all my entourage to do likewise if they can. I have insisted that the human mother and father comply and help by having the loft insulated , cavity wall insulation and having a water meter fitted so I feel I am doing my best ....can you honestly say the same???
I have enclosed a tiny picture of Mother Nature it does not capture her entire glory...to be honest that would be impossible to do, but it will give you an idea of how lovely she is and what you are endangering by your short sighted desire for using up all resourses on this fragile planet.
The other photo is of me cycling up through the dawn skies to vist Mother Nature ...hard work all that peddling!!
I have to go , again Tommikins is on the rampage and I must go and sort him out!!
I will have more news on him and other events next time we meet!!!!!!

Baking .......................... Hot !!/ Cooking up a storm

2006-10-15T16:46:00.000+01:00

Have I ever mentioned before that I am a master chef............. NO! well that is very remiss of me for I am a not only a master chef but one of great note!! I have been very creative in the Kitchen today baking cakes for the feeble minded assistant , she was meant to be baking a banana cake and a fruit cake but as usual she is soooooo inefficient that I had to take over and save the day. If I say so myself the results are amazing and delicious. To set those of you who are of a pinictity domestic nature, mind's at rest not only did I do the mixing entirely by paw but I also cleared up as I went along so there was no mess left behind me in the kitchen when I had finished!!
The mother , same afore mentioned feeble minded assistant, went for an hour long walk just to clear her head...just goes to show what a big head she must have:) As far as I am concerened she may as well of saved her energy as she did not seem any better for her excertions.
Do you remember I introduced you to Tinker the pet of the humans I stay with and very close friend of mine well I have enclosed a photo of her for you ,all to see. Quite a beauty is she not...yes that is her photo above. She is a wonderful character...totally deaf, completely mad, throughly nervous , noisey ...always shouting due to being deaf,and constantly bewildered!! A cat to be proud of ...and habits well she often attacks ( suddenly and without provocation ) and kills her own tail ....then sits there looking astounded and wondering why her tail is hurt or even why it is in her mouth or under her paw?? Although she quite likes the humans that are part of her family she is never amused when any of the sons come to stay and she will moan loadly at them and go off in a huff to make a protest in the bath ...if anyone has been stupid enough to leave the door open!!
We have been disturb the last few nights by a cat letting itself in by her catflap and eating her food. Tinker being deaf and old tends to sleep through all this only once comming face to face with the intruder and , to her credit she won the battle that insued. The father had , had to get up and sort the two opponents out. There has been much talk in the house as to identity of the mystery intruder............................ well to be honest there is no real mystery about it is, as I know who the interloper is !! Yes it is that dreadful Tommikins!!!!!! Have no fear I am armed and ready and shall be sorting that darn cat out for good very very soon.
Well The Vladdette and I had a wonderful time last night we took Baby Vlad to visit our fiends up north and watched the Northern Lights before going on to visit the Granmother with the invisible Cape. ( I meant Fiends that was not a typo!!)
Again duty calls and I must take my leave of you all. Unill we meet again good night to you all...............................................................................

The Approach of Halloween !!

2006-10-14T23:00:00.000+01:00

Strange , unseasonal weather aside, this is my favorite time of the year!! The fog swirls around in the mornings and evenings, and you humans never know quite what wear..it may start hot and turn cold or cold and turn hot ...mother nature ( a cantankerous lady at the best of times is at a truely wierd ebb this year!!) Not only is the weather exciting but there is so much to look forward to. The Autumn brings so much promise ....mostly of death ..eg leaves from trees and flowers wilting and usually but not definately, this year, the end of , what you humans term the good weather........... You must not bemoan death in nature or the leaving of the warm and long days because there is much to be loved in these Autumn , transiton days. The velvet darkness of a night lit with pin point stars. The dark, stark branches of a tree stripped of leaves reaching up for the last weak rays of winter sun, whipped by harsh north winds. The promise of the coming winter and hopefully lots and lots of snow carried on the whining wind as it swirls the leaves and finds all the hidden rubbish from under hedges and doorsteps! Beautiful colours , warm reds
( puts me in mind of BLOOD) golden yellows, dark muddy browns. Delight delight Crisp mornings white frost and hoare everywhere.....what more could we ask for?? Chilblaines perhaps:(
The chap who looks after the Aurora Borealis has promised to keep on his toes and will not be assosiating with Master Tommikins again in a hurry ( after I pointed out the error of his ways the other night and intemated the possible consquences to him. ) I am pleased to report that he is well back on form and the lights are now up to their usual spectactular standards again at long last! I have enclosed a photo of his recent handy work ( at the top of this Blog) for your delectation.
I have been rushed off of my paws today dashing around checking out cars for people, meeting errant ponies , escaped from Irish Gyspies!! Sorting out and updating the Aunt Franks' computer and averting yet another nervous breakdown from besetting Madge!! That darn chicken will be the the straw that brakes my back if I do not take care!! ( The mother knows all about broken backs and informs me that are no fun at all!)
Well all is quiet ( for now ) on the Tommikins front and I for one can tell you that I am most grateful for small mercies! As you can imagine my busiest time of the year is fast approaching!! Yes you have it in one, the seaon of all seasons ...the festival of all festivals..... Autumn and Halloween. I have instructed the mother to make some preparations and I am glad to report that for once she had made quite an effort. As you can see from the picture below she has made rather a good effort with the flower display. Not only has she made an effort with the flora and forna but she has also been invited to a most prosdidious Halloween Party on the 4th Nov!! She will with the assistance of myself and the Vladdette be dressing up and we can assure you now she will be looking a proper sight on the night:) Thankfully she will not need too much make up as she will probably go as a witch (HE HEHE!!!!!!)
I can now report that I have awoken all four Autumn Faries and so they are busy weaving the magic of this wonderful season. I am glad to say that I will not have to stir anymore Fairy Folk untill late December when it will be time to wake the Christmas and Winter Fairies..... I hear you asking yourselves why there was mention of me awaking the Spring and Summer Fairies, the answer is simple....... they do not need waking the Spring Fairies are eager and every ready to be up and about opening things up and breathing life into this and that , the same can be said of the Summer Fairy folk spreading warmth and colour and getting things ready for harvest...Too blooming busy and goody goody for me, give me my dark end of the year and grey begining every time!!!!!
Well my dears I will have to take my leave of you now as I have promised the Vladdette that I will take her and the Baby Vlad up north this evening to watch the Aurora then we will nip accross to visit the Grandmother in the Transylvanian Castle. ( Not a bad thing as I can check on how the Slove Bats are coping with the latest influx of the foreign hoards to my beloved homeland)
I wish you all a good night :)......................................................................................

Fairy.........Lights ??

2006-10-13T20:49:00.000+01:00

Good evening, once again I am glad to get back and spend a few minutes chatting with you, my dear friends! When I left you last night I was off out to study this new craze you humans have dreamed up ( standing infront of traffic and cctv webcams .....and waving??) Well I am sorry to say that , yes I did find many of you partaking in this extreemely odd passtime?
I admit I did do a couple close fly bys of a few camers and gave whoever was watching an enegmatic smile :) I could not stay long as , you may remember I also had to troll off up north to visit the chappie who looks after the Aurora Borealis for me....not a bad chap but he has a rather unfortunately short memory and a decidedly weak will as far as having a tipple is concered!! When I arrived at his bungelow he was spark out on the bed and I am afraid to say much worse for wear. Aparently the infamouse Timmikins had been a visiting and had not arrived empty pawed. ........................ Well I tried in vain, to rouse him , all to no avail and so I was forced to sort the lights out myself, and then make him strong coffee and tidy his place up!!! I finally left him early this morning having had a few strong words with him.....and having cast a spell to keep Tommikins away for a while!!
I personally think I made a good job of the Northern Lights last night and have enclosed a photo of my efforts for to judge for yourselves!
On my way home I stopped off to have a chat with Gracie one of my oldest and dearest friends I have known her since I was a small cub .....As Annuska and Ivan ( my parents) say she does not seem to have age a jot in the millenia that she has been around!! I have enclosed a photo of her chatting with me earlier, again you can judge for yourselves. Gracie is another ( and I may add the the lastof ) the Autumn Faries that I have had to awake this month .
Well again my friends I must depart I HAVE PEOPLE TO DO , PLACES TO SEE AND MANY MEN TO TALK TO ABOUT MANY DOGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Great Balls Of Lightening

2006-10-12T19:53:00.000+01:00

Hello my little friends I return to you much rested and invigourated . Not only have I had a much needed sleep but I have also had a wonderful time riding Ball Lightening as I said, yesterdays weather was so to my taste and the lightening so much fun to ride!!! I have enclosed a photo of the very Ball Lightening I was riding , in fact it was instramental in my extracating Tommikins ( beloved pain in the arse, I mean beloved cat of the Grandmother with the Invisible Cape) from a rather embarrasing situation involving some prominant regal personages!! Unfortunately, for you, I am not at liberty to give you names or locations but I will just say this, winding down or not a certain PM was very greatful for my intervention!!
I also dropped by at Windsor to talk to a concerned grandmother. Not mine I hasten to add, and set her mind at rest. I had my photo taken with one of her properties in the background , you can still the ball lightening but the rain is so heavy that the photograph is almost awash!!
Today has been a slower day but I am not complaining I had so much on of late what with dealing with Neurotic Madge and the imfamous Tommikins I was glad of the peace and quiet. I accompanied the human mother to work in the morning where she was most busy but in good company so she kept her smile true and straight all morning ( creep!!)
She met her friend ( the one I help on a regular basis) for lunch then she visited her Homeopath , I have investigated this person and found them to be most worthy of my friendship. I shall watch with interest to see if she improves the health of the feeble minded assistant!!
I have been keeping an eye on the foreign property ratings and am most disturb to see that Rumania ( Transylvania) is becoming increasingly popular. Even Royals buying properties on my estate within my Kingdom and Domain. I am not impressed with this influx of the hoypaloy I am most annoyed at this turn of events and have dispatched the two Sloves Bats to investigate most throughly , all commers and vet closely any persons, regal or not wishing to purchase property within my homelands!!
I shall have to take my leave now as I am going out to join the new craze of standing infront of cctv and traffic webcams and waving to family and friends???????????????
Obviously in my case I will be flying ..... I am not sure why you humans have started doing this it sounds rather stupid to me?? I also must check on our tardy friend in charge of the Aurora Borealis he is slacking off again!!! So till we meet again good night.........................................................

The Madge Situation Reaches a Conclusion

2006-10-11T20:13:00.000+01:00

The day just got better and better weatherwise as far as I was concerned today lashing of wet, wet rain and high winds wonderful!! The problem was that I could not really appreciate it as much as I would of liked because as I had said I had to dash off to Ivans' ( my father ) aid. That darn renogade Tommikins , beloved of the Grandmother with the Invisible Cape, was out there causing trouble again!! And my poor father was hard put to control him so as usual I had to go and reign him in!! Not an easy task as Tommikins is not a gentle little pussy but a large and very fierce Black cat with a long tongue, sharp claws and even sharper teeth!!
Needless to say I did sort the situation and an International incident was averted!
Now before I had to dash off so abruptly this afternoon I was filling you in on the Madge situation and the alarming fact that Madge ( for all her inherrant unstablity) was not the subject of the terror campaign but the Aunt Frank herself was the intended victim. When it came to light from the mouths of the two Sloves that the snidy devious Ted was behind the whole sorry situation and even paying Raynard to harras the family. I for one was not suprised but the Aunt and her husband were!! The had absolutely no idea that Ted could stoop so low!!
We noticed that the Brandy had worked its magic on Madge, either that or she was deceased ( and as I have pointed out on more than one occaison that is not possible) We gentlely covered her up with a soft warm blanket and tucked her up in a comfortable chair to sleep off the trials of the past few months. Raynard and Frieda were invited in and after the husband had assured them that shots would be fired they gingerly entered.
We all sat around and planned what we would do with the low life known as Ted!! I am sorry I can not tell you here on these pages the outcome of that discussion as that Ted could well be reading this Blog. All I will say to you Ted is watch your back son!!
I am extreemely tired now and so I must take a short nap before I get back to my seasonal job of waking the Autumn Fairies from their Summer sleep I have shown you a couple of them on previous evening and tonight I am showing you Ulrika , the young male Fairy in the photo with me is Urie her brother! The second photo!! Does it really need introduction??.............................. Yes it is Tommikins Beloved of the Grandmother. Night , Night all I am exhausted.........................................

Problems with Madge continued

2006-10-11T11:02:00.000+01:00

What wonderful weather we are having today. I have spent a very happy morning on the windowsill of the mothers friend ( she with the important job and great view of the trains) watching the wind and rain batter the trees outside in the darkness..it is wonderful just like night time!! It puts me in mind of winter nights at the Grandmothers Castle in Transylvainia , fires roaring peasants, roasting. Those were the days when we could roast peasants you can not do it now as it is not politically correct!!
Snow eight foot deep outside and everyone sitting around moaning and groaning...AH!! such wonderful memories!! there has been far too much sun shine this year for my liking.... it has cost me a fortune in sun block and creams!!
As you may recall I was telling you last night how I and the Slove bats had visited Madge , how I had been in to see her and try and calm, said Madge down, whilst the Sloves had been out into the garden to speak to Raynard and his partner Frieda! I had just reached the part where the Sloves had returned to report to me when I was called off once again to assist Ivan ( my father) with Tommikins who yet again was causing trouble this time on a regal scale...that is a story best left for another time ( if ever )
As I was saying I had got Madge down off of the freezer and the Aunt Frank had poured her a stiff Brandy to calm her nerves. The Aunts' Husband in true heroic style had been into his study and retreived a shot gun to dispatch the errant miscreants outside. All was steadying down and tempers were begining to cool as the Sloves entered the conservatory. We all stood in silence as we listened to their report. It turns out that Raynard had been bunged ( I beleive that is the correct term) a substansial sum of money to prowl around the Aunt Franks' premises and cause as much disturbance as possible. Apparently all Madges fears for her own well being were totally unfounded ( not an unusual occurance for one so neurotic!!) The Aunt Frank being the main , and apparemtly totally unphased and unaware object of these scare tatics.
Who you may ask was behind this campaign of terror............................... IT WAS THE IMFORMOUS TED!!!!!! Yes I too had thought we had heard the last of him, obviously not!
I am afraid I must again be off as Ivan has sent me another urgent communication about Tommikins and he needs me with him forthwith!!
The photos are Madge checking the coast is clear ( once again even though she has been assures it is) the other and far more important photo is of myself making the mother and father a drink ( I have no idea why I spoil them so but I do!!)
I will be back as soon as I have helped Ivan out of yet another fix that tommikins had gotten him into. Farwell for now................................

Problems with Madge

2006-10-09T18:36:00.000+01:00

Once again the day has been a busy one. I spent the morning assisting the mothers' friend, who is still on this infernal health kick................. eating fruit and veg YUCK most unhealthy for an undead like myself!!
In the afternoon I helped the human father to make a shelf and board for the downstairs cloakroom then we also priced up the tiles and borders , most industrious. The mother was at work and I popped in to see her several times but she was too busy to notice me!!!
Now as you recall I was off to visit the Aunt Frank and Madge last night when I left you all. I had called in the best of my security troops ( the two Slove Bats). They were holidaying at the house of the lovely Lisa at the time but as soon as my carrier bat had summons them they returned post haste. We discussed options and decided the that the direct approach would be best. We left imediately and made our way , by stealth to the Aunts' house. It was dark when we arrived and we could see in the back garden two ghostly figures crouching halfway down near the bushes. At the window of the conservatry we could see Madge sitting and twiching the blinds!
I sent the Sloves down to see who an what the figures were, and what they were up to. I entered the house and spoke to Madge...if you can call it a talk all I could get out of her was a load of gibberish and mummblings. The Aunt Frank asked Madge to calm down and explained the situation to me. Madge was convinced that Raynard was here only to kill and gobbel her up!! I said that was highly onlikely as, (1) she was not a mortal chicken and (2) as he had spent so long trying to make contact it was most unlikely.
Madge was as usual figgiting and twitching around and threatening to jump off of the top of the freezer and end it all...( sad creature I had already informed her that not being mortal she could not DIE!!!!)
At that point the Sloves returned and reported to me.
Sorry I have to dash off again apparently Tommikins is still causeing Ivan problems ....I shall have to leave you in suspence untill we next meet!!
Tonights photos are one of myself and the two Sloves in stealth mode and the other is of Raynard and his lady friend Frieda>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

2006-10-08T18:22:00.000+01:00

Greatings once more my friends....and how are you all today. I was out yesterday afternoon supervising the Mother and Father ( the human ones) . They are busy 'revamping' their house!! The quest yesterday afternoon? was tiles for the downstairs cloakroom, a very important room ( Ted, will agree with that if he is reading this).
I have to make sure that they choose something of taste, something we can all live with, we need no horrendous fashion statements ( like the hall ) thank you very much......Ok it was all well and good in its' time but now ......PLEASE! the less said the better and as it is next on their list I will not nag!!!
Anyway they have chosen some rather interesting white tiles ( now, now I am not being sarcastic they are interesting) they are edged , and look not unlike a picture frames, and they have , with my imput of course , picked a stunning border of black edged with silver!!
I hope you have noticed that I have endeavered to provide you with good weather for the weekend ( for some reason you all seem to set such store from these two days of the week???) The mother has done all her washing and got it dry and she and her cousins , sisters and friends have been raving about the this fact ( getting the washing dry) on the MSN!! Sad how easily you humans are pleased........................
Last night whilst I was recounting Madges' recent problems with Raynard I was called away to assist my real father Ivan with the Grandmothers' errant cat, Tommikins. He is so wayward and always causing havoc ....the Grandmother will not hear a word against him................... well all I will say is , Royal personages, drinking , clubs and women.... I will say no more at this point in time ...there will be no point in you pressing me my lips are sealed and anyway the the crisiss has been averted!!
Returning to Madges' problems as I had already said she was panicking and and distressing herself about Raynards frequent , nocturnal visits. The evidence of which was clear to see from the the piles of bird feathers and mess strewd around the patio most mornings.
Well the Aunt Frank and Madge herself have emailed me on more than one occaision!! I have replied and now visited Madge ( and the Aunt Frank ) on more than one occaision and disscussed the situation ....unfortunately to no avail! I have heard only this morning , from the Aunt Frank that Madge is still jittery and skittish and that she fears any further delay in dealing with the delecate situation could result in a tradgedy. Well there is nothing else for this I will just have to summons the two Slove Bats, back from their vacation at the lovely Lisa's house and we will have to go around to the Aunt franks' house and sort this matter out without delay!!
The Sloves and the majority of the other friends and servants had elected to stay at the lovely Lisas' place instead of coming on holiday to Portugal with me ,The Tzar and Nycol the other week.
I have sent a carrier bat around to summons them and as soon as they return we will be off on our trouble shooting duties ( I have had to mediate many a time in many a situation through out my long , long life ....and if I say so myself I am quite good at this sort of thing!!)
AH! I hear them returning as I type so I shall take my leave of you now and hopefully I will be back tomorrow to fill you all in on what transpired.
The photos are of Madge looking skittish as ever...............................
Good night for now....................................................................................

2006-10-05T20:26:00.000+01:00

The weather has been truely dissapointing today . I was hoping for gales and floods ,I have grown bored of the mediocre climate here in the shires I long for the extremities of the outerplanets where I have spent former lifetimes. This little planet of yours can become very unrewarding at times..... What keeps me here I hear you asking............... Well the truth is I have grown fond of the mother ( AKA the feeble minded assistant) and her family and friends they have found a place in what would be my heart, if I posessed such a thing, which I do not!!
Enough of that we had started talking about Madge and her problems.You may recall she sent me an email some months back ....here is a recap for you incase you have only resently joined our happy band!
The Aunt Frank got in touch with me whilst I was in the throws of arranging the Grandmother with the Invisible Capes' Millenium party....The aunt was most concerened that Madge was very depressed and terrified to venture outside the house . The reason why .. you ask... well may you ask... Raynard the fox !! ( a photo of him can be seen in Last Nights blog.
Poor Madge was worried out of her mind, house and egg bound and even ( to the Aunt Franks dismay) tried on several occaisions to top herself. A completely usless excercise as being neither human nor mortal there is no way she could perform such a feat!!
Apparently Raynard had been visiting the garden and making leud and crude approaches to Madge!! Dissapointed that he was getting no encouragment from said lady ( I use the term loosely as I have intermated before Madge is not known for her decorum. Rather for her loose wings and legs!!)
I shall have to continue this tomorrow a carrier bat has arrived bearing a message from my real father Ivan ..................... It would appear Tommikins is up to his shinanagins again and my presence and help is required!!
I am sorry I will go and assist. Before I go tonights photos are me with another Autumn Fairy ( Casiopia a slendid name for a young fairy do you not think) preparing for the unset of another season ...never mind kissing frogs they have to kiss a Vampire Bear before all the leaves fall from the trees ....I rather like Autumn! The other two Photos are of Madge creeping around the Garden looking for signs of Rayard!!

2006-10-04T20:05:00.000+01:00

Well My lovelies what sort of day have you had, I myself have been very busy..again.This morning I helped the father varnish the garden furniture prior to it being put into the garage to over winter!! Unfortunately for all concerned I slipped at some point and fell head first into the tin of varnish...resulting in me having to have a shower. Damn nusiance as my shower was not due untill ther end of next month!!
If Ted is reading this my cape cape was UNHARMED and UNMARKED!!!
After my shower I had to pop across to the Kola Peninsular to check on the carpenters working at the Winter Palace. I am having the cobbles in the great hall removed and replaced with wooden floor ( not unlike the ones the human mother and dad have recently had fitted...though of course mine will be far superior!!!!!!) anyway all was well underway so I left them to it and returned to Berkshire to assist the mothers friend with her difficult job!! and to watch some train from her big window.
Now do remember that some time ago I had an email from the Aunt Frank about her excenteric friend and lodger Madge the Chicken , she of the loose wings and legs!! ( as I have said before and no doubt have to say again the looseness refers to Madge and not The Aunt Frank ).
Not only did the Aunt Frank email me but also so did Madge herself. It appears that she has been so worried by the unsolicited and not to mention unwanted attentions of a certain Mr Raynard Fox that she has been so far as to attempt the taking of her life. Unfortunately ( or fortunately depending on which way you look at it ) she is not of the human ilk and so it would be pointless her trying to shuffle of this mortal coil or any other for that matter!!!
Where to start ( that is a foxxy question) well as it is getting late and the feeble minded assistant is tired , and so even more incompitant than usual I will have to continue this story tomorrow!
Tonights photos are of Raynard himself looking very dapper , the second is one of Madges botched attempts at topping herself...messy very messy. The last is of me seconds before disaster struck and I fell headlong into the tin................. or was I pushed?????????????
Good night friends...................................................................

2006-10-02T22:04:00.000+01:00

Today has been extreemely stressful .................... I am a Vampire bear, an imortal. I should not be bogged down by the minusia of life I should be up there in the sky SOARING, I should be out there in the jungle ( concrete or vegitation ) ROARING, I should be out and in brooks, DABBLING, I should be up mountain faces SCRAMBLING........... tell me what have I found myself doing?? ......Defleaing and deworming the CAT!! and accompanying the mother, AKA the feeble minded assistant to work ( her first day back from a holiday in Portugal!) Me the friend to Kings and Queens and Emperors throughout Millenia, frequenter of Bordelos, Castles, Palaces, Casinos, traveler of cruise lines, private jets and rocket ships ........... ........................ defleaing cats and frequenting supermarkets ..and I hasten to add being on the wrong side of the counter..Hey Ho how the mighty are fallen...what is the meaning of all this...??? Where will this end the Grandmother with the Invisible Cape is asking questions??
Forgive me my little human friends it appears I am going on somewhat so I shall put a gagg on it ..........for now!
You have all been waiting patiently to hear the out come of my meeting with the Princes. My tour down memory lane with Hardey finished and with the shadows lengthening I flew around Tower Green to make sure that all visiters and Yeomen were gone ...satisfied that that was the case I gently landed next to the two sleeping Princes. I sat and watched them for a few moments ...I looked at their inocent faces ..and their closely entwind hands and for a second ( only a second mind!) I felt a twinge of pity for the two unfortunates. I waved my cape above their heads and the gentle swish of this action did the trick and they slowly awoke.
At first they were not quite sure what to make of me, well I am rather impressive and even young ghost such as they were could recognise my importance! I stepped back and gave them a deep ( and graceful) bow and adressed them as their Majesties, which seemed to please them well enough.
After the introductions were over and we were aquainted I asked them why they stayed up all night playing football and hide and seek...why did they run around making so much noise that my friends, the ravens could get no rest...did they realise that whilst they were depriving the ravens of sleep all night Queen Anne Boyleyn had been disturbing their days! making them very tired and disshevelled ravens?
The two young boys ( for boys are what they are) looked at me astounded........... they were most sorry but explained they dare not sleep at night incase the men who had murdered them came again! They seemed most disturbed and so I asked them who they thought was responsible for their deaths ...sadly they admitted thay really had no idea.............I then explained that their Uncle Richard ( against whom there was really no solid proof of guilt) had died many miles from here at a place called Bosworth Field and he had been buried in Greyfriars Abbey in Leicestershire, later , years after, during the reformation his grave had been disenturred and desacrated , his bones had been dug up and thrown into the River Soar. Thus making it impossible for him to return to the Tower , even if had wanted to!...... other suspects to their murders were also ,of course deceased and buried, elsewhere none of then in or even near the Tower. The boys listened and slowly they seemed to relax . "So you mean we are safe now?" they asked me. I assured them that yes they were and that they had had a decent burial ( courtesey of Charles 11) and were now intured at Weatminster Abbey this news greatly pleased them.
They asked if they could be introduced to the ravens who they had so badly disturbed. I then introduced them all and as soon as it was clear that they were all getting along well and things look set to settle down amicably I quietly and unobtrucively took my leave. ( YES EVEN I CAN BE UNOBTRUCIVE!!)
Well I have heard nothing to the contrary so I assume all is peaceful and well at the Tower and that the Ravens are getting their rest at night and peace by day....................
Well I must again take my leave as the father needs another cup of tea and weak minded assistant has fallen asleep in the corner....too many antibiotics...I told her to let me cure her BUT NO SHE KNOWS BEST!!!!!!! Sorry don't let me get started again.
Tonights photo is of me with the two young princes Richard and Edward.
Farewell my lovelies XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

2006-10-02T00:41:00.000+01:00

Good evening to all my friends, new and old Imust apologise for my tardiness of late but I have been busy. This is the time of year that the fairies call upon me for help in gathering up the summer sprites and releasing the Autumn ones!!
I know I have been promising to finish the story of my friends, the ravens at the Tower of London...and I will just as soon as I am free to spend more time with you.
Also coming up will be how I sorted out poor Madges' problems with Raynaud the Fox!!
Yes all will be revealed ASAP!! For now you will have to put up with these few words from me and a picture of me with Arabella ...we have an Autumn sprite in its' cage just prior to this years release.
Be assured I have not forgotten any of you and will be back in harness ( writing for you)very soon. Till I have more time I SALUTE YOU!!!!!

2006-09-27T20:03:00.000+01:00

Today has been very busy, the mother and father have had a new wooden floor laid and I , Vlad the Capable, have had to oversee and organise the workmen!! I must admit it is looking rather impressive , for a modest abode ( Of course not on the same scale as one of my magnificent Castles, but not bad). Apart from laying floors I also had to help the mothers friend again, and visit Madge the Chicken . You remember Madge, old friend of mine, lives with the Aunt Frank, loose of legs and wings and prone to suidal tendances ( Madge not the aunt Frank!!) you remember, she was having problems with a foxxy friend of mine.............................. another story that I will fill you in on later.
The mother was out this morning and bought me home a new hat , a photo of which I have on display for your delectation tonight.
Well shall we return to the Ravens at the Tower and their sleeping problem..ie. moaning and noisey ghosts.....If you recall I had sorted out the Anne Boleyn problem, by taking her blood stained collar home for the Vladdette to launder!! I left the Tower and flew back to Berkshire asap and asked the Vladdette to assist me....she kindly agreed, as I knew my sweet princess would ( I too can creep with th best of them!) I was most impressed Vladdette sorted it out within the hour and I was on my way back to the Tower with in a flash.
Her Headless Majesty was most pleased, and amused! Gracefully she reiterated her promise not to disturb the lads as much in future....but she would love to join them occaisionally for lunch 'alabin'.
So that was one of the problems solved. Hardey took me for a quick tour of the Tower whilst we waited for night fall and the young Princeses to awake. There were many many old friends ( Ghost most of them) in and around the Tower , some in chains and some without heads and to be honest innards as well....but I was pleased to see them one and all as they were to see me!
Soon the shadows lengthened and we returned to where we had left the Princeses sleeping and I prepare to negoiate...................................
I will have to leave things there again the weak minded assistant is not up to speed today as she is unwell and had to go to the Drs this morning ....some chest infection. ...I told her I could cure her but she was having none of it and insisted on her old fashioned human medicine................... chemicals..UCK!! Well there is no arguing with the daft so I let her have her own way....and now she is weak ( in body as well as in the mind) and says she needs to lay down (WOOSE). I shall have to let her have a rest ..........no such luck for me as usual I have people to do and things to watch and many men to see about dogs!!
The other photo is of Gwyllum and Cedrick they were inspecting the brick work on top of the Wakefield Tower. So I bid you goodnight untill we meet once again!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-09-25T23:48:00.000+01:00

HERE FOR YOUR EDUCATION IS THE THE PORTUGUESE WORD FOR THANK YOU......................... IF YOU ARE FEMALE REMOVE THE LAST O AND REPLACE IT WITH AN A MAKING THE WORD OBRIGARDA SEE YOU LIVE AND LEARN
YES EVEN YOU TINY HUMANS DO

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-09-25T21:16:00.000+01:00

Hello Mon Amigos.................. I am returned from Portugal and am much refreshed and ready to carry on the business of being a busy Vampire Bear!! It was not all sun sea and sand......I had fishermen to help, boats to beach and launch, fish to catch, food and drink to test for the weak minded assistant and the father, town and villages not to mention cities to to see ( my adoring public demand it of me!!) Apart from all that I had to mediate between the Tzar and Nigel ( who from now on wants to be known as Nycol) what a pair of drunken bums they were!!
Apart from all that I had to visit and help the mothers friend ( she with rotten job and the view of the trains!) and the mothers other friend Netty.All this whilst trying to relax on the sun lounger!
Now when I left you all 15 days ago , with the promise of my return, I was telling you about the problems my Raven friends at the Tower of London were having . You will rember that Anne Boleyn was distraught at the fact that she had blood stains on her lace collar and spent all day, every day bemoaning this fact! to add insult to injury she was joined by the two young Princes ( Edward V and Richard Duke of York) who insisted playing football all night thus preventing my seven feathered friends from getting any rest and as a result not being up to doing their Ravenly duties with their normal aplomb!
Well after we had all feasted on the lunch that Hardey and Hugine had prepared for us 'Alabin' their speciallity, we all chatted amicably and Anne apologised for her inconcideration towards the lads ....she had not realized how badly she had been affecting them! She handed me the bloodstained collar and thanked me again for my help....I assured her that the Vladdette would do her best , laundry magic, on it.
I decided that I would leave immediately and get the collar sorted intime to return by nightfall and so ( as it were) to be ready to meet and greet the two young Princes!
Well I have to go now as I have Polar Caps to check and planets to aline not to mention the baby Vlads supper to get ( the Vladdette is on a girls night out with Annuska, my mother, and the Grandmother with the Invisible Cape... the mind boggles!!)
Tonights Photos are of Nigel, err I mean Nycol and myself preparing a cup of tea for the father, the other is of the Tzar in a rare monent of harmony with Nycol and myself ( partaking of a meal on the Balcony of the hotel) .............................. Good night for now I will be back tomorrow..........................................................................

2006-09-09T16:22:00.000+01:00

My dear friends I shall be unavailable for the next fortnight...you do not need to know where I am or what I am doing!! Just relaxed and bathe in the knowledge that I will be keeping an eye on each and everyone of you ( even visiting a select few , you know who you are!!)
On my return I will finish the tale of my recent dealings with the ravens at the Tower of London. Until then keep well and I shall return , have no fear!!! I have posted a photo of me to keep you all smiling!! :)

2006-09-08T21:23:00.000+01:00

Good evening Friends ! today I had to visit the mothers' friend again ...we managed to have chocolate and hoola hoops today and BLOW the diet :) We also got her work done and kept the boss busy and out of our way!!
The feeble minded assistant is totally distracted at the moment as she is prepareing to go on her holidays with the father.....she spent most of yesterday afternoon doing strange female things and what seemed like torture involving legs arms and toes.....I tell you the imortal mind boggles.
Enough , enough I hear you shout lets get back to the Tale.
As I had said the Ravens were suffering servere lack of sleep at night from the two young boy ghost playing by their avery and by day they were unable to rest thanks to Anne Boleyn bemoaning the state of her collar ( though what the problem with that was I fail to see I always think blood is such a lovely stain!) Something had to be done so I told the boys to go and find Thor and prepare us some lunch whilst I had a chat with Anne and the boys. Off they shuffled moaning, dragging their feet and yawning all the way!! As they left the green they split up Odin, Munin,Gwyllum and Cedric went to look for Thor , while Hardey and Hugine ( the haches as I call them ) went off to prepare some food, take away!
As I approached Anne looked up from her lap, a huge and beautiful smile lit her extreemely pale face up. "Vlad , how woderful to see you it must be at least three hundred years!" Juming up , she forgot where her head was and I had to leap out of the way incase it crushed me ( momentarily) and then immediately I had to do a flying tackle to save it from being trodden on by some passing Japanese tourists. " Calm down your Majesty " I said handing her back her head. Smiling she took it back and invited me to join her on her lap so she could see me better!
We talked for a while and she explained how upset she was , and had been for years, about the blood stain on her collar. I told her I would, if she liked, take the collar to Vladdette and she would work her magic on it . This really pleased Anne and once again her face was lit up by her lovely smile. "How can I repay you Vlad ?" she asked
" Hold on " I replied" I have not even left yet, much less has the Vladdette removed the stain.................... but there is something you can do for me." Egerly she agreed that she would do anthing I asked ................ and so I suggested she give the ravens a break and stop moaning all day long!..Picking me up and moving me closer to her face so she could kiss me she said...." I promise Vlad I promise I will given them a rest. If the Vladdette removes the stain I will not need to upset them anymore??"
Well that was a start after lunch I would return home and seek the Vladdettes' help and then tomorrow night I would tackle the two sleeping princes! "Come Anne join the lads and I for some lunch" and taking her hand I lead her ( head tucked under her other arm)to where the Lads were awaiting us..........................................
I will have to leave things there as I have to help the Vladdette with her laundering of the collar before I go out and check the Polar caps are in place and that the equator is in place and the the moon is pulling the tides correctly ............... so much to do so little time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Before I go tonights photos are one of the ravens billets and the other is of Hardey and Hugine preparing lunch 'alabin' earlier today! See you soon..............................................................................................................................

2006-09-07T20:09:00.000+01:00

Tonights blog must be short and to the point as the feeble minded assistants' other half ( the human father has made it clear that he does not like her spending too much time on my Blog!! Well we best not upset him had we!!
As I was telling you I had met the Ravens on the Tower Green and they were not looking their normal selves at all!! I had enquired as to why they looked so tired and Hardey the eldest and most senior ranking Raven had announced that the problem was Ghosts!! I was astounded to hear that and asked what the problems were. I have known ghost for my entire , and long existance and very rarely have I found them to be any problem!!
Well as it turns out ( and I think I have mentioned this before the lads live in very comfortable barracks next to Wakefield Tower) that two young Boys ( ghosts named Edward V and Richard Duke of York) have been keeping the lads awake by night playing football and hide and seek right outside the avery!! If this had been the only problem I dare say they could of coped well enough but after they had breakfasted and surjourned to Tower Green then Anne Boleyn would start ...hassling them about not being able to get the blood out of her lace collar!!!!.............. Thor was upset by this "What are we?" He demanded of me "Laundry masters....No we are defenders of the Kingdom!" Flapping his wings he stomped off towards the White Tower scattering tourists as he went! "Please excuse him." said Hardey "he is young and highly strung!"
I looked at my friends , and to be honest they did look very tired and scruffy! Casting my eye across the green I saw Anne Boleyn sitting at the spot where she had been beheaded her head in her lap looking sadly at a badly blood stained white lace collar. Just behind her were two sleeping boys of about 12 and 10yrs in each others arms obviously worn out by a night of footie and hide and come seek!!....."You have to feel sorry for the boys " said Gwyllum begrudgingly " They do need to let off steam but then why at night and outside our roosts...is beyond me!!" He finnished with a hurrmph and sulkily shifted from leg to leg yawning as he did so!!
I could see that they were all unhappy about the situation and so I decided that I would have to intervene and the sooner the better.
I am afraid our time has run out this evening and I must again be off people to do things to see.................................... The photos are of Gwyllum and Munin on the green and the other is Odin and Thor talking to me , we are all under my Cape of invisibility. I will be back to continur the story soon.........................................

2006-09-05T20:08:00.000+01:00

Today was the mother ( aka the feeble minded assistants' day off) and so she has been totally selfish and done only what she wanted to even went out to lunch with the human father!!!!! I on the other hand have been extreemely busy, as usual,well what else can you expect of an imortal with so much to attend to! I arrived back early this morning ( having taken baby Vlad for an educational visit to the London Dongeons and for a moonlit flying lesson over the Carpathian Mountains). After I had bathed the Baby and put him in the coffin I headed off to assist the mothers friend , after that I had to collect some Euros from my castle dugeons ( I have a little chap sits there most days making them just for my use!!.....do not worry he is happy doing so and has a nice long chain so he can move around....only joking...:)
Talking of Castles , which I was yesterday ( even though it is not as grand as mine and Known as The Tower of London) shall I continue to tell you why Cedric had asked his second cousin Mavis to contact me? You would like that ...ok then. As I explained yesterday Cedric is one of the seven ravens that live and work at the Tower of London ( They protect the Kingdom from destruction and so not a job to sneezed at!!) I had arrived under cover of my cape of invisiblity and made my to Tower Green where Cedric and the others were awaiting me!
I was really pleased to see them all again.Thor,Odin,Gwyllum,Hugine,Munin, the eldest and most senior whose name is Hardey and of course my old mate Cedric! Funny thing was they did not look their normal smart selves, infact they looked disheveled , ruffled and if I did not know better a tad worse for drink!!! I was to say the least a little taken a back.
After we had all said our hellos and enquired after each others health it was all too clear that my, usually, fine feathered friends were exhausted and dizzy with tiredness!
What I enquired was the reason for this? Lack of sleep they replied......... Well I never I said astounded knowing they had comfortable billets next to the Wakefield tower, I just could not understand why they were suffering from lack of sleep. Hardey stretched his wings and fluffed his feathers up and announced " It's the Ghosts!!"
................................................................................................................................
Sorry I will have to stop there again , would you beleive after all the trouble I had the other week sorting out the twit I employ to turn on and off the Auroura Borealis tonight he has forgotten where the switch is so my dear friends I must away and sort it out....people will be depending on me ..the weight of responsiblity ways heavy!!! Before I go tonights photos are of me arriving at the Tower of London with my cape of invisiblity on and the other is of Cedric ...looking every inch the proctor that he is!!!! Farewell til I return.............................

2006-09-04T21:12:00.000+01:00

What sort of day have you little friends of mine had. I have been so very busy today! I spent the morning visiting the Mothers friend...who was late into work and we missed the baggette lady.That was unforgivable and so I threw a wobbler and stormed off home. I tell you I was so upset that I locked myself away in my coffin. I had not long gone off to sleep and was enjoying a wonderful nightmare about ( oops I digress) as I was saying I had not been asleep long when I was interupted by a loud banging on my coffin lid. It was Mavis the Magpie , she had recieved an urgent message from her second cousin Randolph the Raven who works at the Tower of London ( I love that place such homely names eg..The Bloody Tower , that give me a warm safe feeling ...the White Tower again makes me feel safe and Traitors' Gate ) and Ravens ( I also love ravens such lovely black feathers and so large) who have the job of keeping The Tower standing!! A very important job and not to be taken lightly.......... Again I digress, I must apologise but the mind is wondering hither and dither this evening!
Why you ask was Mavis banging on the lid of my coffin , what sort of message had she recieved from Randolph??? Well it appears he needed to see me as a matter of the utmost urgencey . Well knowing Randolph of old I realized that he would not be getting intouch with me to check the times of television programmes ( like some of the human mothers family, who shall remain nameless!) So I got up and while Vladdette made me something red and hot to drink I listen to what Mavis had to say.
Apparently Randolph and his team of crack ravens were having trouble with some of the ghosts ( of which there are a plenty at the The TOWER, another reason why I love the place). Mavis apologised for the fact that she did not have too many details only that Randolph seemed at the end of his tether and very tired!!
Cutting a long story short ( or to axe the facts ... reference to axe men and beheadings at the tower, or mostly just outside the tower) I finished my drink and set off for the capital. Being a vampire and supersonic this only took me three minutes .
As I arrived and flew in under the the arched gate of the castle I activated my cape of invisibility to proctect me from the eyes of the Beefeaters and the many tourists. Lets face it it would cause widespread panic if any of them had set eyes on me .
I landed on the cobbled path and headed for the green where I knew I would find Randolph ( Randolph being his real name .. ...... Cedric being the name he is known by , by the Yeoman Raven Keeper ). Sure enough there he was in the middle of Tower Green with his six co Tower protectors. There have always been Ravens living at the Tower ever since , well no one really remembers but my old friend Charles 11 was going to have them removed as they were interfering with his astronomers work . Well this caused such a stir bringing to light the fact that if the Ravens left the tower the kingdom would fall!!! Needless to say Charles reconsidered but to appease his astronomer he restricted the number to six and one spare making seven.................. ..............................
As usual I have to dash off now Vladdette wants me to take baby Vlad to park to play in the moonlight........... I don't think so I am not in the mood tonight I think the boy would be better enployed having a tour of the London Dungeons..Either way I had best take the boy out before Vladdette get ratty......... not a pretty sight!!
Tonight photos are of me sleeping before Mavis awoke me and the other is just me!!!!! ....... By the way Ted if you are reading this I want no smart remaks about my new night shirt!!!!!
Well untill we meet again , and I will tell you more of my trip to the Tower, I bid you all good night and sweet dreams................................................................................

2006-09-02T16:50:00.000+01:00

Luckily for all involved Tommikins, the Grandmother with the Invisible Capes' cat has been safely returned to her without her suspecting anthing about where or more acutely to the point with whom he had been!! I can also report that I have been out to Spain and allayed a major dissaster for the Aunt Frank. She is now happy again and so ( with any luck she will relay the fact that I have been of assistance to her to the Grandmother) I can now relax for a bit!!...............
Tomorrow I am planning on taking the entire entourage of family and friends to my Island Paradise for a day of recreation and fun and hope fully for me some rest!! Have you seen that programe on the TV I beleive it is called Love Island well I can assure you it will be nothing like that!! Nothing for the best for me and mine!
Tonight I will be out clubbing with the lads and so all you partiers out there had best be on the look out for us ...when we party we do it seriously!!
Time now to return to the on going saga of Valentina and Millaine the Villaine.
The Grandmother had gone and as the last of the thunder died away we could all hear Millaine protesting he had had a hard life and an uhappy childhood ( a fact I personally know to false he infact came from a very loving and happy family!) Well his words were falling on deaf ears, the bats that had been charged with his safe passage to Tranylvania were not listening they all had their ear pieces in and their ipods on! and so it was to no one in particular that he was complaining as they took off with him in tow and receeded into the distance.
As normality returned to the garden and the sun burned away the clouds and smoke, the birds flew down and feasted on the debris ( remains of the dead air core and foot soldiers) we stood and watched as the last of the remaining flea army fled the sceen.
Later sitting in the bungelow sharing a celebratery breakfast with Valentine we wondered how our beloved friend White Ted was faring.I assured everyone that he would be fine in my mothers' care ( Annuska was a brilliant nurse , as she brillant at everthing she turned a claw to). After we had gone over the events of that morning and thanked our luck that Ivan and Annuska had turned up with the troops just in the nick of time I helped Valentina to cover all our tracks so that her pet humans would never know we had even been there let alone fought an horrendous battle.
All too soon it was time for us to leave. We were all assembled on the lawn The Gem bears , the two Slove Bats and Valentina and myself to say our goodbyes...Valentina asked me to keep her informed of White Ted progress and not to leave it too long before I bought the family over to visit her! In turn I asked her to email Tinker who would be worring as to the outcome of the battle and to let the Vladdette know we were on our way home. Then with their usual aguements and and niggling the two Sloves and the Gem Bears flew off ( haphazadasly with the weapons chest) and then after a last farwaell I left a happy and safe Valentina sitting on her front drive. As I disappeared I heard her female human calling her in for her elevnses...................
Well now I must go and get ready for my night out when you are as old as I am it takes a tad longer!!!! Oh! yes tonights photos are of Valentina checking under her bed to be sure none of Millaines fleas were lurking there ( fear not they were not) and the other is dear Tinker awaiting news ( like a coiled spring!!) ..........................What happened to Millaine AHA! well that is another story, for another time! ..................

2006-09-01T18:54:00.000+01:00

Salutations mere mortal friends and how are you all today. Yesterday as I said was most hectic sorting my father and Tommikins ( the Grandmothers' cat) out. Unfortunately I did not have enough time to continue the Valentina verus Millaine the Villaine story!! So to allay any further disappointment I shall go straight in the saga....................................
You could hear a pin drop , more to the point you could hear all six of Millaines legs knocking together. He was standing in front of the Grandmother with the Invisible Capes' throne , looking most dejected. The Grandmother, not known for patience or her forgiving nature, was tapping her cane on the side of her chair and the feet and claws on the end of the legs of her throne were tapping and scratching too!!
After a few minutes, and the sound of knocking, scratching , clawing and tapping had all become deafening!! The Grandmother cleared her throat and announced to the assembled onlookers that she was tired of waiting for an explanation , she was getting board and that if Millaine did not speak up in the next thirty seconds he would be......
Shot with a silver bullet, have his head chopped off and for good measure be pinned to the gates of the Transylvanian castle by a wooden stake! This did the trick, not only were the entire assembly struck by the horror of the punishment but it certainly loosened Millaines' tongue.
At first all that could be heard was a mumbling then he gained some of his lost self respect and started to tell the Grandmother why he was trying to invade the home of the Empress Valentina. First he told how he made extensive use of the Vanshooster Circus gym, and built up his strength. He had then bided his time untill the moment was right and he was here on the Isle of Wight . After one of the performances he over came his guard and made his escape and by the time the guard was found he was miles away and in hiding. He had waited untill Vonshooster had given up the search for him and left the island ( having professional commitments to honor).
Millaine had then set about recruiting and training an army of fleas!! After a a few months he had what he cosidered to be an elite fighting force! He then announced his evil plan to invade and infest every cat on the island......... Unfortunately for him he had set the Empress as his first target. It transpired that he had no idea that she had any connection to me and my family. Perhaps had he started at the other end of the island it would of been far harder a task...as it was we were nipping it in the bud.
"Well sunshine" cackled the Grandmother " you certainly picked on the wrong Pussy here!" Millaine shuffled his feet and nodded agreement. The Grandmother then , to the accompaniment of more thunder, stood up and marched up to Millaine and hit him with her cane. Then turning to the six bats flanking him she ordered them to take him at once to the dungeons at the Transylvanian castle and keep him there untill she had decided what to do with him! Then turning on her heels ( all six inches of them and sharp like knives) she returned to her throne sat back down and then ....she was gone...............................................................................................
Well friends I have to go and check on the Aunt Franks' Spainish property ( she has the ear of the Granmother and they are very friendly so when she asks for my assistance it is best , for a quiet life , to assist her!!)So I will will have to leave off the telling of the saga again!! So untill tomorrow I must bid you all farwell!! Tonights photo is of Vladdette, baby Vlad and myself visiting White Ted whilst he was recovering from his wounds from the battle ..............................................................

2006-08-31T17:50:00.000+01:00

Good afternoon folks , again I have risen early from my coffin and all for your convienience! Last night was most hairaising, if you recall I had to dash off suddenly to find Ivan who gone out with the Grandmother with the Invisible Capes' cat ( Tommikins ) and was late returning with him!! We had to disguise this fact from the Grandmother as she would of completely left her trolly ! Not having any faith or respect for Ivan for a starter she would not forgive him if a hair on Tommikins back had been ruffled.
The fact that Tommikins is a real rougue (loveable but extreemely naughty all the same) is the one thing the Grandmother will not acknowledge. No handsome charming Tommikins can do no wrong............. So the fact that it was his idea to visit the dark side of the moon and my dear niave dad only went along to make sure the cat was safe would not wash one pair of socks with the Grandmother!! No not at all so we did not tell her. My mother ( the real one Annuska ) sent me a message by carrier bat asking me to go and retrieve them both. I never refuse my mother anthing so at great inconvienience to myself I set off to find them. Thankfully it was not a difficult task for as I approached the dark side of the moon I heard the two of them, the noise was incredable!! They were busy playing skittles and as usual arguing about it , they had rigged up an old stereo system they had found badness knows where and had Pink Floyd belting out on a loop!! I had to stop by at NASSA on the way home to explain that all the interference to their equiptment had been caused by those two.
After dropping the two of them off at the Castle in Transylvania I returned home and had a short rest as I had to be up early this morning to once again help the mothers' ( Aka the feeble minded assistant ) friend who is still settling her new boss in and still thankfully unaware that I had caused all that trouble at the office yesterday whilst she was out!!
I told you that she has substituted celery and cream cheese for chocolate ....a henious crime in my book, and anyone elses who has a modicum of taste I should think? Well today she has compounded that crime, I can hardly bring myself to tell you this, she added Marmite to the cheese spread URGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! absolutely horrendous. I had to nip out at lunchtime and get myself a plate of chips and lobster from the fast food joint next to her office. Yumie that was good smothered in tomato sauce!! She can stick that cheese and celery I do not care how good it is for me!! I have posted a photo of my excellent lunch oh it was delicious........................
I may be back later this evening with another post in which we will continue the Valentina verus Millaine the Villaine saga .................... If not you will have to wait untill tomorrow Must fly ( and I do mean fly because I can :)

2006-08-30T18:17:00.000+01:00

I have been busy today helping the mothers' friend, when I say mother I mean the feeble minded assistant. We did have some hoola hoops but I am misssing chocolate ( she has substituted celery and cheese spread..UCK not only does it stink it tastes awful!!) I think I will have to resort to taking my own chocolate.I shall of course be hiding it from her I do not want to share it with her ............... well she is trying to be healthy!! Guess what happened today while she ( the friend was out this morning) I found myself at a loose end and so I ambled down to reception and had some fun with the security and tannoy systems!!! Well the temptation was too great I first disguised my voice and then I put out a few messages. The best one was that the snack van had arrived and all food was half price! You should of seen them the were up and running like ants around mobile snack van!! I had such fun watching them all fighting about who was having what and the driver was so confused ..not had so much fun since the Grandmother with the Invisible Cape stuck Ivans feet to a railway had an express train run him over. I need to explain no one was hurt during this Ivan is an imortal and cannot be killed and the train was very thick skinned!!
As I said that was good fun, then I noticed a big red button ( red as you know is my favorite colour and so I just had to press it.................. Well you can't imagine how much mayhem that , that caused....... all these bells started going off then then the sprinkler system burst into action............. Oh! what fun all the computers and important paper work got soaked (I was , I must admit a little sorry that the huge flat screen television in the kitchen got soaked and blew up ) but not for long because it was so much fun seeing everyone being marshalled out of the building and then the big RED fire engine arrived , OH! such joy!!
You should of seen the look on the mothers' friends' face when she arrived at work ...I quickly pretended to sleep on the window sill............... I deffinately got away with it, she did not suspect a thing and I helped her clear the office up so I am still in her good books!! I spent the rest of the day painting a picture for her to make sure she suspected nothing!!
Time now to tell you what happened next in the Valentina Versus Millaine Saga!!
If you recall the Grandmother with the Invisible cape had seated herself in her throne, after her dramatic entrance. After she had threatened to do something nasty to Ivan who was so pleased to see he was actually bobing up and down on the giant silver bat that had born him to the Battle! She had ordered six of the bats assembled to bring Millain the Villaine to her.
Millaine by now , bedraggled, muddied and dirty , a sad and sorry shadow of his former self stood before the Grandmothers' throne shaking like a leaf all twelve of his legs knocking together making quite a racket. There was an uncanny hush all around the garden , the local birds had settled in the trees with the bats to see what was happening , even the snails and slugs had stopped in their munching to see what would occur next. Also couple of red squirrels and a fox had stopped to watch proceedings.
Noticing that she had a captivated audience the Grandmother cleared her throat, then pausing fo maximum effect started to polish the silver scull on the end of her black wooden cane ........ all the while the tap tap scratch scratch of the claws on the end of the long boney hands and feet of her throne could be heard. When she felt the moment was right she demanded of Millaine an explanation............ there was none forth comming. He just stood there shifting from one set of legs to another and looking extreemely sheepish!! "Well" demanded the Grandmother "You must have something to say for yourself you had enough to say last time we met".....................
Again I will have to leave matters hanging I have had another urgent call this time from Annuska my mother she needs me to go and find Ivan and Tommikins ( the Grandmother with the Invisible Capes' cat) a very hadsom black chappie much beloved ( infact one of the few things she cares about) . Apparently he was last seen cicling the dark side of the moon with Ivan , unfortunately , for Ivan they had not returned when the Grandmother had asked for Tommikins to brought to her and now she was getting very figgety!!
I have enclosed the painting I did to allay the mothers friends suspicions this afternoon...quite brilliant I hear you say....thank you.The other photo is of me and Tommikins taken the last time I was at the Transylvanian castle. I had best get off and find those two reprobates before more trouble ensues................................................
Farwell untill we meet again......................................................................................

2006-08-29T15:57:00.000+01:00

As you will all realize by now I am not a moaner or a grumbler but it is getting increasingly more and more difficult to sign in to my blog!! It all started, after the week minded assistant had changed her email address and registered this fact with Blogger. Then the troubles began, it kept asking her to sign up for the new Beta Blog which at first she resisted . She could not get on to the site at all and kept returning to the sign in page!! ( and not by choice) So then she tried to sign up for this new Beta blog, only to told that only a few chosen bloggers could sign up for now and she should try again......... later??? Well she found that that was a way back to her blog........ then that would not work so she visited a blogger forum and found a link which she book marked which worked for a while, now even that is playing up!! This is an inconvienience that I do not need!!!!!!!!! So if you Blogger employees are reading this please help me and all the other harrased and wordy bloggers....we need easy access to our bloggs!!
I honestly find all this distressing and so I am not saying anymore, on the subject for the moment ....................... for once I agree this is not the fault of the week minded , lilley livered limp wristed assistant?
With no further ado we will now return to the tale of Valentina and Millaine the Villaine. The Flea hoards had been routed, the air core of gnats had been iradicated and Millaine had been shamed into facing up to me!! I was in the process of challenging him to a duel when out of the skies, to the acompaniment of clashing thunder, arrived a very cross and bad tempered looking Grandmother with the Invisible Cape.
If you remember I said that the entire assembled troops ( friend and foe)where stunned into silence by this dramatic arrival . The Grandmother touched down on the lawn with a gentle THUD!! closely followed seconds later by her throne.After she had silenced the ever rambling Ivan who was babbling with excitment at his favorite creatures' arrival!!
Millaine on the other hand was obviously not pleased to see the grandmother, infact he looked totally horrifed!!Lets face it the last time they had met she had, had him hauled over the coals ( and I am talking litterally) and had him taken into longterm custody by the famous Flea master Dr Vonshooster to star in his cirus.If you recall he( Millaine) had tried to con my mother and father out of money for what turn out to be a shed on one of the outer rings of Saturn.He had turn extreemely ugly when they had refused to pay for the hovel and had tried to kidnap Annuska!
The grandmother brushed her long, voluminous skirts and straightened her viel. Then turning and clapping her hand she sommond her throne which scuttled up to her and in which she sat down with a bump!She cleared her throat and shrieked " Bring that quivering jelly closer will you so I can see him properly!! Six of the bats flew down from the branches were they had been hanging and escorted Millaine to the Grandmother.................................................
I have to go now as there are many, many jobs I have to do this evening and the week minded assistant is chundering on about the jobs she has to do...... All of them totally irrelevant and inignificent she is a total waste of space sometimes but I do have a soft spot for her because she loves me..Well I must away as I have important things to do. Tonights photo is of me editing my Blog Site (touching!?? )......

2006-08-28T22:05:00.000+01:00

Well today has been a real red letter day I have received a missive from the Aunt Frank!! Though as usual she is casting aspersions on the family ( accusing me of not keeping them in rein) she and the Grandmother with the Invisible Cape are very tight so I have to be careful not to offend her.
Just because the boys ..Nigel and the Tzar enjoy the odd couple dozen, bottles of wine does not mean they are getting out of hand!!! They only sing nice songs and usually in some sort tune!!
Actually she had some disturbing news about Madge , you remember Madge, old friend of mine but rather highly strung. She has always had the reputation of of being a goodtime gal ,mainly because she does not keep her legs together ( I hasten to add that this not due to any loose morals but rather to an unfortunate design fault in the positioning of her legs!) Last month I heard from one of my many sources that she was having problems , so being a magnanimus bear, I emailed her at once to offer assistance. Well she did not reply.Then today I hear from the Aunt that she found Madge trying to top herself with a carrier bag (I ask you a carrier bag from a local supermarket?). Naturally the aunt was most upset and asked madge as to why she was acting thus! Well she could get no sense from her but the fact that she kept repeating these three words. Feathers , scratching and FFFFOX.
I have of course offered to help and my lads are at her disposal but Madge Dear I need to be put in the Picture!
Well we need to continue the Valentina Tale. When we left off last night we where storming up the lawn on Valentinas back. She was arrayed in the shinyest of black armour and looked a fearsome sight. As we drew near we saw a long black trail of Fickle Frightened Fleeing Fleas Flitting off ( try saying that after a glass or three of ginger wine) We had routed them and they were on the run. The bats in the trees swooped as one and made short work of the runners. At that point Millaine the Villaine stepped forward.
He did not look so scary now! No his black armour was dirty and lack lustre , his gold sash was blooded and had a rip in it so his shield was listing to one side and all three pairs of his dark blue slippers had mud all over them. A very sad and sorry sight.There he stood looking all bedraggled not a patch on the terrifying sight he had been a week before when he had started this siege. Valentina turned her head and said to me " He looks so small now I thought he was a giant" I was just about to challenge Millaine to a duel when there was another clapp of thunder.The Wind ceased to blow, the birds stopped twittering, the bats stopped attacking and we held our breath. There was no movement or noise we all stood as one ( even Ivan was silenced)
There was a roar that as it got nearer became a recognizeable cackle ! Ivan was the first to realize who it was , bearing down on us . Mother -Law he shouted and started jumping up and down sending millenia of dust flying fom his cape!!
" Shut up you Baffoon and stand still before I staple your claws to the ground" Shrieked the Grandmother with the Invisible Cape as she touched down on the lawn......... her Throne a couple of seconds behind her.
Well I will have to leave things there for tonight as Vladdette has just told me that Madge is on her own and we should pop round to see her and see what assistance we can offer........................... I am sorry to have to stop at this point but the wife is insistant!! Before we go , tonights photos are of Vladdette modeling another addition to her wardrobe , ther other is of the Empress Valentina surveying her Garden.
There is a well stocked bar at the Aunt Franks ###### Nigel, Tzar are you lads coming?....NO, No my dear I need them to assist me.............................................

2006-08-27T10:10:00.000+01:00

Well here we are again and please note that I have left my coffin early today! I spent most of last night up north sorting out the Aurora Borealis , you will notice that I have had to make that trip more than once of late ........................ Well I have had harsh words with the chap whose job it is to 'caretake' them , I have threatened him with the Grandmother with the Invisible Cape. I think perhaps things will run smoothly for a while.
Talking of threats I have had no nasty, menacing messages from that Fart TED of late. Infact I am quite concered that he may be a poor unsuspecting pawn who has fallen foul of those unscrupulous Leprahauns. It is a well known fact that they (Leprahauns) play on week minded souls and easily bewitch them. Unfortunately this sad deluded Ted obviously thinks,and truely believes, he has commisioned and sent me a new cape , the colours of which we will not go into. Ted if you are reading this you need help...I am willing to give you the name of a brilliant councellor friend of mine , a german chappie.
Well I have to say the sun is doing its worst today and no doubt you will all be out there picnicing, going to the beach or in reality cramming into your cars to sit in traffic jams ( why do you all do that)...... it is truly beyond me?
Back to the Tale of Millaine and the Empress. I stood heavy hearted under the Shield of Greatness and watched my mother disappear into the distance carrying precious cargo ,White Ted. All around me the battle , though at a momentry stand off , continued and I could hear the two Sloves and the gem Teds discussing which of the weapons Annuska had left us should be used first. Suddenly a gentle and wet nose nudged my paw.It was the Empress Valentina, she had left the safety of the bungelow and had come out to comfort me. "My dear Vlad " she said puting her paw on my shoulder."I am so grateful that you and your band of warriors have come and defended me and I am truely saddened that your dear friend White Ted has been wounded." She hung her head and looked away.As I turned to answer her , I saw huge tears rolling down her face. " Take heart dear lady " I told her. " We are about to win this battle indeed the war!! " I finished on a flourish but with each word I could feel my strength and courage return.I now tried to persuade Valentina to return to the bungelow but she was having none of this and so we found her some armour and kitted her out.
Meanwhile Millaine was holed in the centre hedge and had recalled all that was left of his troops ( there were not that many left by then. All that could move had rushed back to the shelter of the hedge at the sight of the bats devouring their comrades!!) Millaine was worried now , he was now the one vastly out numbered . There were only three battlalions of his foot hoards left standing ( and they were the motely crew that always hung back in any battle) his entire air core had been wiped out and the rest of his allies and generals had deserted him..................... Basically he was alone, and he was not happy. Then above all else there was that blooming idiot Ivan hovering above him , waving his sword around and shouting abuse at him and worst of all that silver bat he was flying on had crapped on him for the third time in the last fifteen mimutes!!!!! The tide had turned on Millaine and he felt he was about to drown. Then as the sun finally broke through the clouds and the smoke revealing the carnage on the lawn and made all the wings of the bats hanging in the nearby trees glint like silver. There advancing up the lawn was a ( to Millaine ) a horrendous sight.....( to you and I it would of appeared magnificent) Steadily and gracefully like a tiger , came Valentina resplendant in shiny black armour. On her back rode Vlad holding aloft the Sword of Invincibility in one paw and the Shield of Greatness in the other. As this posession came into view a great cheer went up through the ranks of bats hanging in the trees and then they were joined by Ivan shouting out "COME ON MY SON SHOW THAT MILLAINE WHAT YOUR MADE OF"...................................... Millaine took a deep breath and stepped forward.
I am sorry we will have to stop there as I really must take to my coffin the rigours of last night and the stress of recalling that battle has taken its toll on me and I must rest. Oh yes before I forget Vladdette has prevailed on me to show you another of her purchases ( personally I can't imagine that you would be interested in her new frocks ...but she insists you would) anyway the photo is quite interesting as I am in it too. The other photo is of Ted recouperating at the castle in Transylvainia under Annuskas' care................... I must get some rest now.!!! I will be back to finish the tale soon. Fear not I will be back!......................................................................

2006-08-26T17:34:00.000+01:00

Hi there everyone , yesterday I promised to tell what happened next in the tale of Valentina versus Millaine the Villaine. Being a vampire bear of my word I shall get right into the story....Yes I know it is a departure from the norm and you all love to hear what I have been up to so much, but the feeble minded assistant is busy fiddling with her new webcam so, we shall get right into the tale.
OK things were looking bad, really bad . The sky was full of gnats , the lawn was covered with dead bodies we were running out of amunitions, White Ted was badly wounded and I had run out of ideas. I had done all I could I had been up into space and called mother and father for assistance! As I said all was looking black when there was a clapp of thunder and from out of the skies came an army of Vampire bats!! Leading them brandishing gleaming swords and shields was Ivan and Annuska. Each was wearing black armour polished and gleaming like glass, they were riding on the back to two bats, no normal bats these, huge silver creatures with massive wing spans which darkend the garden as they swooped accross.
Ivan stopped his bat above the centre hedge where he could see Millaine cowering and there he hovered waving his sword aloft with one paw and shouting "Come out you snivelling coward Millaine and face me like the Flea you are" Meanwhile Annuska on her silvern bat had produce a leathal gnat spray and she was wiping what was left of Millaines air core as fast as the eye could watch!! It was like standing in black heavy rain but boy it felt good and I rejoiced in it. My Mother was a wonderful sight in full flight , her beautiful face bent on destruction of the flying pests, her blood red robes flying out behind her , where they had escaped her black armour.Edged with gold they made her look magnificent and terrifing at the same time. As she finished off the last few hundred gnats with a swat she had had strapped to her back she spotted us under the shield...cheering her on. She finished off the last of the air core and then joined us.Taking one look at White Ted she sighed and told us she had only just reached us in time as she could see White Ted was slipping away.Gently she lifted his head and poured some violet mixture out of a green amphlet ( wonderful as she is mother was never one for colour co-ordination in her apothecary)
From one of her long flowing sleeves she drew out a purple/red mesh in which she wrapped White Ted ............. " He must stay in here untill he begins to awake " she said gently putting him into one of her pockets ( after emptying it of dead petals)
Meanwhile there was a deadly hush outside Millaines air core had been defeated and lay across the lawn as far as the eye could see. All the bats has taken up positions ( hanging upsidedown in the nearby trees) and Annuskas' magnificent beast was standing to one side of her awaiting instructions.The only thing breaking the deathly
hush was Ivans voice baiting Millaine.
The noise of the hoards banging on their shields had stopped and the stamping of their feet had ceased also! They stood ( the hoards ) just inches from us meserised by the thousands of bats in the trees ( blood thirsty bats, and they the hoards not long fed were full of blood) Annuska waived a clawed paw and a few bats flew down and devoured several battalions of the hoard!
Then with a swish of her cape, throwing dead flowers everywhere she sent the bats back to the trees. She flew up on to her silvern bats' back and was off calling to me as she left. ........ "When you finish here collect some Giant Sunflowers on your way back to the castle I shall be needing them. And she was gone taking White Ted with her. I cannot describe the lonely feeling that hit me in the chest as she disappeared from view with my best pal ( it is strange but true I had only known that bear for the blink of an eye , several of your years, but to me an imoratal, he had come to mean more than some whom I had known for Millenia!!).........................................
Well it looks like the feeble minded assistant has stopped her fiddling with her webcam. OH! only for now, she informs me! Well she is tired now and wants me to turn the computer off.................. I ask you has she no stamina??? As it happens I have to go up north again that twit has not turned on the Aurora Borealis I have to do it all!! ...... Before I forget tonights photos are of White Ted wrapped and recovering in Annuskas' shroud and the other is of me collecting Giant sunflowers for his recovery. The story will continue. ....................................... Hail and farewell till we meet again..................

2006-08-25T19:04:00.000+01:00

Today , my friends has been extreemely hectic and at times a tad stressful!! I was summonds in the early hours by my Father Ivan ( the totally impossible) If you remember I was telling you the other day how he has become friendly with this chap Colin and has been going out with him in his Trawler? Well late last night Ivan fancied a spot of fishing. Not wishing to disturb Colin who was fast asleep, or my mother Annuska who was doing a tapistry in the long black sewing room at the top of the castle. He had taken the trawler out on his own, without any permission or anybody's knowledge. Well Ivan has a lousey sense of direction at the best of times but he is optimistic to say the least. So by the light of the moon he sets off towards the horizon, with no navigation lights or crew , no knowledge of how to use the radio.......... well as you can imagine it did not take long for him to run into trouble. A fact , as is his wont , he was totally oblivious of. Ivan can never see any danger or problems!! To cut a long story short he managed to attract the attention of the costguard who assumed that the irratic actions of the trawler ment it had been stolen as was being used for some illicit perpose..( which technically it had , Ivan had taken it without permission and was illictly trying to fish!!)
The coastgurd gave chase, Ivan thought .."this is fun ".. and speeded up as did the coastguard who eventually overtook and stopped him. Well I say the coastguard stopped him...really it was the rocks he hit that stopped him!! Ivan was arrested and the trawler had to be towed back to port where a very annoyed Colin was waiting !! Ivan was completely unphased by all this and was genuinely suprised that Colin was upset and that the coastguard were going to lock him up!! Well Colin was furious and the coastguard locked Ivan up , luckily he was allowed one phone call so he called my mobile.
I had to dash off down to the coast and smooth things over with Colin, arranged to have the trawler fixed and RE FITTED , that was the only way I could placate Colin. Well I will have to dip into the family coffers. After I had sorted Colin and convinced him to drop the charges I had to assure the coastguard that I would remove Ivan and keep him away from the harbour.Eventually all this achieved I had to impress on Ivan that it was not a good idea to ask Colin out for a drink at the local....... Ivan just could not understand why Colin might be a little angry with him??
I am afraid you will have to wait untill tomorrow to find out how the Valentina and Millaine tale ends...Personally I am up for continuing but the week minded assiatant is complaining that she is tired and has had a hard day at work! And so we will have to leave things as they are. I give you my word that all will be revealed tomorrow................ Tonights photos are of me counting some of the money I had to give to Colin...it pained my dearly...the other much happier subject is my beautiful wife |Vladdette modeling another odf her new purchases from the recent shopping trip!! ........................ Untill we meet again farewell....................................

2006-08-23T20:28:00.000+01:00

My feet are very sore I have been rain dancing again.I am doing my best as you have all been saying how much you need the rain but as soon as I produce it you all start moaning!!!!! What is an Imortal to do??Again I have been busy looking after the feeble minded assistants friend the new boss was it in the afternoon so I spent the morning having fun with the tannoy system in her reception. I also shared her Hoola hoops and I had a chocolate Twirl!
If you rember I told you I spent the other day on a fishing trip with Ivan ( my father) well he enjoyed himself so much that he has been out with a chap who owns a North Sea trawler, called Colin ( the captain , not the boat , thats' called Artic Storm) Ivan has commisioned three Fair Isle sweaters and a captains hat and pipe.......... say what you like about Ivan he never does anthing by halfs ...................... No, over the top I would say.
Annuska, Vladdette and baby Vlad are back from their New York shopping trip and Vladdette has bought the baby some handsom new shoes and three beautiful capes for herself.... ( No help or hinderence from that Fart Ted in New York I am pleased to report)
We will now return to the tale of Valentina and Millaine the Villaine.When we last left the scene White Ted had been wounded and we were being pinned down by an air attack. You will remember that we were making headway againts the gnats but White Teds condition was worsening so it was up to me to take drastic measures. I stepped out from under the Shield of Greatness covering myself with my cape of Invisiblity and took off into the smokey gnat filled , dawn sky and headed upwards! Soon I through the clouds and the atmosphere and out into space. It gets really cold up there but for once I was too worried to enjoy the feeling. Once I felt that I reached the required height I called out .................. " Mother .......... Father " then I turned and started my descent. Knowing I had done all I could. I had to wait and hope I had been heard!
As I touched down and dived back under the shelter of the Shield of Greatness I could see we were still in trouble as the two Sloves were hard put to keep the now, steaming hoards at bay.Ever closer they were advancing and we were running out of amunition and options!! The noise was deafening and the sky dark and even I was finding it hard to breath with all the smoke from charred bodies. Even though I cannot be killed I was not happy at the prospect that I might for the first time in Millenia be looking defeat in the eye. Well things were looking as black as the Grandmother with the Invisible Capes' eyes and to be honest I was at a loss as to what to do when......................
HOLD ON VLADETTE..... ............ sorry the other half is calling , My lovely I am telling my friends about................ ER Sorry I will have to go but rest assured I will be back soon to finish the tale! Tonights photos are one of Vladette, she was keen to show you one of her new purchases from her shopping trip to New York. The other is of me Rain Dancing by the computer............ I must away places to see people to do............. Ok Vladdette I am coming ...................................

2006-08-22T20:26:00.000+01:00

Hail friends, and this evening I have a special greeting to impart to my good friend Graham....how are you my good old Pal are you still running the line single handed...well as good as??
I suspect that you are all wondering where and what I have been up to since we last spoke on Saturday evening?
Well to be honest it has been one mad social whirl........ Sunday the mother and father ( the human ones) visited their youngest offspring and his lovely lady and put up a curtain rail for them , they then went out to lunch................. I had to accompany them and supervise. Yesterday I new the mother ( aka the feeble minded assistant) would be OK at work as my mate Graham would be there to watch over her, even though he nearly forgot her tea break, I was confident he would take care of her. So I was able to joined my real father, Ivan, up at the Winter Palace for a days fishing while my real mother, Annuska and Vladdette took baby Vlad out to buy a pair of shoes. Vladdette needed some new capes so they decided to do the shopping in New York.Today I have been helping the mothers' friend, the one with difficult job. Her new Boss started today so I had to suss him out and advise her as to how best to handle him!! Well we did well and even found time to share some hoola hoops and a glass of orange juice ( though I would of prefered warm blood , but one can not be churlish)
Right it is now time to return to the tale of Valentina and Millaine the Villaine and his evil hoards. If I remember correctly we had them on the run and Millaine had been air lifted out of harms way , leaving his foot soldiers to fend for themselves!!........ there was an acrid smell of burning pervading the entire garden and everywhere you looked all you could see were black and charred bodies.The two Sloves were all for dashing after those of Millaines' troops who were now fleeing the battlefield. Fornuately for all concered I am older and wiser than than anyone ( except maybe the Grandmother with the Invisible Cape, on a fine day with the wind behind her!!) So I halted them and ordered them back to their posts and only just in time because as they begrudgingly returned to their positions a new air attack began. Again White Ted lifted the Shield of Greatness and as the bombs began to fall around us the Shield expanded and gave us all shelter! Things were begining to get very nasty indeed we could hear Millaine shouting orders over a megaphone and see all the troops who had fled the field regrouping!! We opened the weapons chest and got out the sling shots and the insect repelant and started to bombard the skyborn bomber gnats but they were quick and very nifty. Then to our dismay a stray bomb slipped under the shield..I threw myself infront of the others, being imortal I knew I could take the full blast and not be injured ( maybe a bruise or two). Well I did take the full blast but to my horror , when the noise of the bomb and tremors and black smoke susided I discovered that my best friend White Ted had been hurt and by the look of him he was in a lot of pain!! The two Gem Teds rushed to his rescue . Leaving me and the two sloves to fight of the gnats.....with A FLURISH OF, MY VERY SMART CAPE, ( you know what I meanTed ? SMART CAPE) I grabbed a slingshot from where one of the Gem Teds had dropped it and began to slay those evil gnats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This went on for half an hour but at least the Sloves and I could see that we were winning and the gnats were getting fewer and fewer.............. White ted on the other hand was not fairing so well! He was failing fast and that called for desparate measures!! So I stepped forward from beneath the shield and holding my cape infront of me so I was invisible I flew up into the air............................... and there we will have to leave it for tonight , the feeble minded assistant is tired and wants to go to bed. ME? well I am off out Vladdette and I are off clubbing. ( Clubbing what I am not sure yet!!) Tonights photo is of the injured White Ted being tended for by the Gem teds.

2006-08-19T14:49:00.000+01:00

G00d evening friends and how are you all. I am very glad that last week is over the human mother has nothing but stress at work ( words like Brewery , Couldn't, Organise and Pi## up describe the place this week!!) Never mind I was there as often as my heavy schedule would allow! I have taken Vladdette and Baby Vlad on an educational trip of the two neighbouring Galaxys. Also after that Nigel, the Tzar and Mr GEE accompanied me on an educational trip of two local Vineyards..............HIC, DO EXCUSE ME!
Enough we shall return to the tale of Valentina and Millaine the Villaine. Remember we had fought off the gnats when the hoardes started to advance on us.
What a horrible sight that was and the noise was deafening! I told Jade and saphire to ready themselves and asked White Ted who by now had lowered the Shield of Greatness and fastened it to his back with a leather strap that Valentina had made for him the night before, to go and assist them.The Slove Bats said it was useless to fire off anymore arrows as the hoards were employing the Roman tactic of covering themselves with shields ( so that they were boxed in ...almost like a huge armoured caterpillar ) so they sheathed their bows and joined the others.
Closer and closer came the mass of shields and from inside we could hear other shields being beaten rythmicly, then we hear the chant. "Knock them out and suck their blood"
Well that might send tremors down your spine but you may have forgot what I am what my stock in trade is??? When it comes to blood suckers no one holds a candle to me!!
I told my friends to let them get to within a few feet of us before we did anthing, let them think they had stunned us into not be able to move! ( AH! HA! poor deluded fools) Finally they were right where I wanted them and I gave the order for Saphire and Jade to lease the boiling oil , as they did this I told the slove Bats to fire some flaming arrows into said oil ( I am not swearing I mean arrows of FIRE) This done all hell was let loose the neat advancing 'armoured caterpillar ' fell apart as the hoarde jumped here and there to avoid the boiling and by now flaming oil. Millaine blew a whistle and a squadron of gnats flew out and lifted him up and out of harms way , they flew with him back to the safety of the centre hedge! I ask you what type of general leaves his men to fend for themselves , what that you say..... yes I agree quite few have ) Well we had them on the run now they were leaping all over the place and their shields were down so we managed a few more salvos and wiped out hundreds before they had time to regroup and join Millaine and the gnats in the centre hedge.
Well I thought we were doing pretty well as there were only six of us and about a million of them.
Again I have to depart just as things are getting exciting but as you must of realized by now I am a very important vampire and there are many, many calls upon my time. The photos for tonight are of Jade and Saphire bear with one of their cauldrons and the other is of my Band of Warriors. Me at the top with the Sword of Invincibility the Sloves, White Ted and at the front Jade and Saphire with the Shield of Greatness. And so untill tomorow I bid you farewell......................................................