I think I have regained enough composure to continue with The Empress Valentinas' tale ( a long and fury one it is too) I was explaining the other evening, before that moron Ted upset me, that she had been holed up for a week by the Magnificent Millaine the Villaine!
Now you know what he looks like, you can imagine the fear the sight of him can instill in a poor cat. Even one of high Royal Russian birth!
Well Valentina decided that she had best email Tinker, the cat who owns my tame humans ( the feeble minded assistant being one of them) So ....................................................The Empress Vlaentina was not pleased and knew she could delay no longer in requesting help. Luckily she knew that the humans were entraining some friends to dinner so she would wait until they were busy and pop into the office and use the computer to get in touch with her pal Tinker. Hopefully she would be able to assist her.
Later that evening when The Empress could hear glasses clinking and plates rattling she deemed it safe to go and use the computer. Wasting no time and pulling no punches so wrote... ‘Tinker dear, I have a grave problem here. I am being laid siege by Millaine the Viliaine and his evil hoards! They are threatening to over throw my home and attack my dear sweet humans. So far I have been able to keep them outside but I fear this is no longer the case and they are growing in numbers and strength all the time. Please, please help me if you can, you are my last hope! With affection The Empress Valentina.’ As she wiped the keyboard clean leaving no trace of her fur she resigned herself to the fact that she had done all she could over the last few days to repel the pest at her door. All she could do now was to wait for Tinkers reply and thank Heaven for Broadband! Knowing she had done all she could for moment The Empress found herself a comfortable position on the office chair and waited for a reply.
Waking with a start The Empress nearly slipped of the chair as the ‘pong’ of incoming mail sounded in her ears. Yawning and flexing her claws she sat bolt upright and listened. She could still hear the sound of clinking glasses and laughter so she knew she was safe to check the mail. Opening the mail with baited breath she was relived to see it was indeed from Tinker. ‘Dearest Empress, I was shocked and saddened to hear of your plight. I would gladly come to your aid but feel there is not much I could do personally to assist you, apart from to give you love and reassurance. But do not despair I have just the hero to help you. I have a friend, he is an immortal Vampire Bear, his name is Vlad and his bravery and strength know no bounds. What is more to the point I have spoken to him and as we speak he is preparing to come to your rescue. Be strong and brave help is on the way. Do not give into fear and keep your spirits up. I send this with love and hope that all will soon be as it was before. Your friend Tinker.’
All The Empress could do now was await the arrival of the super hero Vlad!
........................................... Yes Folks thats right me!!! :) I am so wonderful....you are so lucky to know me!! as the Empress was about to find out. :) More on The Empress and her Plight soon.
Well I have to get back to my plumbing duties I am still in search of missing stop cocks and a good plumbers mate! The photos this evening are of me following one of Millaines outriders to see what I could learn of his plans ( Note to Ted the cape may look a little dusty and tatty but in my defence, I had been out all night in nasty inclement weather and had been through several hedges backwards...why you ask ...NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS...I reply) and the other is of the garden where Millaine and his hoards were gathering!
I must away now as the monkey has wrenched his back trying to move the toilet!...................