Well today has been a real red letter day I have received a missive from the Aunt Frank!! Though as usual she is casting aspersions on the family ( accusing me of not keeping them in rein) she and the Grandmother with the Invisible Cape are very tight so I have to be careful not to offend her.
Just because the boys ..Nigel and the Tzar enjoy the odd couple dozen, bottles of wine does not mean they are getting out of hand!!! They only sing nice songs and usually in some sort tune!!
Actually she had some disturbing news about Madge , you remember Madge, old friend of mine but rather highly strung. She has always had the reputation of of being a goodtime gal ,mainly because she does not keep her legs together ( I hasten to add that this not due to any loose morals but rather to an unfortunate design fault in the positioning of her legs!) Last month I heard from one of my many sources that she was having problems , so being a magnanimus bear, I emailed her at once to offer assistance. Well she did not reply.Then today I hear from the Aunt that she found Madge trying to top herself with a carrier bag (I ask you a carrier bag from a local supermarket?). Naturally the aunt was most upset and asked madge as to why she was acting thus! Well she could get no sense from her but the fact that she kept repeating these three words. Feathers , scratching and FFFFOX.
I have of course offered to help and my lads are at her disposal but Madge Dear I need to be put in the Picture!
Well we need to continue the Valentina Tale. When we left off last night we where storming up the lawn on Valentinas back. She was arrayed in the shinyest of black armour and looked a fearsome sight. As we drew near we saw a long black trail of Fickle Frightened Fleeing Fleas Flitting off ( try saying that after a glass or three of ginger wine) We had routed them and they were on the run. The bats in the trees swooped as one and made short work of the runners. At that point Millaine the Villaine stepped forward.
He did not look so scary now! No his black armour was dirty and lack lustre , his gold sash was blooded and had a rip in it so his shield was listing to one side and all three pairs of his dark blue slippers had mud all over them. A very sad and sorry sight.There he stood looking all bedraggled not a patch on the terrifying sight he had been a week before when he had started this siege. Valentina turned her head and said to me " He looks so small now I thought he was a giant" I was just about to challenge Millaine to a duel when there was another clapp of thunder.The Wind ceased to blow, the birds stopped twittering, the bats stopped attacking and we held our breath. There was no movement or noise we all stood as one ( even Ivan was silenced)
There was a roar that as it got nearer became a recognizeable cackle ! Ivan was the first to realize who it was , bearing down on us . Mother -Law he shouted and started jumping up and down sending millenia of dust flying fom his cape!!
" Shut up you Baffoon and stand still before I staple your claws to the ground" Shrieked the Grandmother with the Invisible Cape as she touched down on the lawn......... her Throne a couple of seconds behind her.
Well I will have to leave things there for tonight as Vladdette has just told me that Madge is on her own and we should pop round to see her and see what assistance we can offer........................... I am sorry to have to stop at this point but the wife is insistant!! Before we go , tonights photos are of Vladdette modeling another addition to her wardrobe , ther other is of the Empress Valentina surveying her Garden.
There is a well stocked bar at the Aunt Franks ###### Nigel, Tzar are you lads coming?....NO, No my dear I need them to assist me.............................................